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Old 03-10-2016, 03:06 PM   #2
Mr. J
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I really enjoyed the start of this verse & the eventual build up to the picture reference
your word choice fits well into the following lines that you choose
I felt towards the end you started to lose focus though. otherwise this was pretty cool
the middle section was the strongest point of the piece for me & made me say awww
but towards the end with the weed & roll it felt like you tried to stick to the subject too much
after methamphetamine urge I was like yea this is nice...it just felt redundant to go back to the list of things again...

nice work though...keep writing
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