Bunch of good rhyming and clever phrasing in here
^better still with british accent or at least my attempt at it
But
Storytelling must be tightened up, both for clarity and brevity
some redundant and "formal"-type poetic phrases... personally I think they don't always "mix well" with the other lines of straightforward gangster sentiments
I'm sure there is a way to mix them, but it can be done better because the talent can be seen
if you wish, i will edit in some examples/explain further- within a few days
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