***pls view the video first***
Vincent Smith - A Fictional History
^ That's Vincent Smith, and that's Jadeveon Clowney laying him out
But what the replays don't show is Smith's soul escape through his mouth
It changed him, no doubt - before draft day, teams were staking him out
But Smith fumbled and stumbled each time he played for the scouts
Now Clowney, he's a Lone Star in Houston - 1st pick in the draft
While every team passed on Vincent, hardly a sniff from the pack
He returned to Michigan, to get his reputation on the mend
But he played shitty there too - and he was stapled to the bench
So he focused on academics - but he failed on every test
Tried to bag chicks, but his sad dick couldn’t even stay erect
Passing off as a laughingstock, he was the college’s joke
Got his athletic scholarship revoked and that was all that she wrote
Poor Vincent - he was dragged off campus punching and kicking
His life was shit. Ever since that hit, he just knew something was missing
5 YEARS LATER
Vincent is fat now. He looks like crap now.
He only wears sweats and lives on a campground.
Down at the trailer park, he’s always buggin’ people
Tellin’ stories from his glory years like Uncle Rico
He works at Wal Mart so he can never save a penny.
Spending days aplenty with his neighbor Cajun Remy.
Now, the pagan Cajun practiced voodoo still to this day.
And told Vincent his theory that had him filled with dismay
“Vince, your soul left when that man popped off your head
I’m no doctor, but to the spirits, child, you’re already dead.
But the soul never ceases and yours is left intact.
And if you trust Remy but any then I can get it back.”
See, down at the NFL Drug Center, Remy knows of a man
Who hooked Remy up with a phoney custodian’s badge
The Cajun was a thief and here’s a pure example
He walked in and stole Jadeveon’s urine sample
Back at the trailer, the Cajun insisted Vincent drink it
Smith was disgusted but this sure wasn't time for thinking
Vincent chugged the piss cup and his face fell flat
As he saw Remy hit him in the chest with a baseball bat
And Remy sang, “BANG BANG SHAROOK ALANG
THE MAN CLOWNEY HIT VINCENT LIKE A RUNAWAY TRAIN
BANG BANG SHAROOK AROLL
THE MAN CLOWNEY TOOK AWAY THE MAN VINCE’S SOUL
BANG BANG SHAROOK ARISK
VINCE RECLAIMED HIS SPIRIT AFTER DRINKIN’ MAN’S PISS
BANG BANG SHAROOK ARACK
ALL SPIRITS, ALL HEAR IT - GIVE VINCE HIS SOUL BACK!”
Meanwhile, at the stadium, Clowney’s vision went all blurry
His body seized up and he left the game twitchin’ on a gurney
5 YEARS LATER
Smith is a CEO, pockets flush, miles away from his poor conditions
Smokin’ stogies on a private yacht, surrounded by gorgeous women
Taut physique, built like a freak - lookin’ like a college day throwback
Plus his hair’s grown back - hell yeah, Vincent Smith has got his soul back