Triple
overall man - I'm not sure what direction you where taking here with summer breeze.- from my understanding and quote me if I'm wrong, but the layout seemed to jump around quite a bit. This is fine at times, but the connection seemed vague. Meaning you went from fishing to a girl leaving him struggling because of a mixtape, then how you have to find your way, then how people constantly paying to live. That is my understanding. Anyways I like your writing style, but I don't think this piece was suited well for the topic - other than that keep writing.
vs
slecht
nice little short pattern here. abab rhyme schemes flow well so nothing wrong with doing it. overall it was short and sweet. Discussing how you took a trip, met a girl shortly after which ended in a romantic affair. When the sun comes up you leave to only do it again. - that's my understanding anyway.
v/slecht - i enjoyed it just a bit more topic wise and the rhyme scheme didn't hurt but i didn't base it off that because poetry doesn't have to rhyme. Plus triple had a decent rhyme to his also in a different style which was also enjoyable as a free flow.
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