Witty - this was really cool, man. I've read it a couple times now - started off a little slow, but you incorporated a lot in to it and your narrator seemed genuine. Only thing is - John Lennon wasn't shot in bed, he was shot outside a hotel. Either way, a pretty entertaining read and I liked the closer.
Pharoah - this was pretty cool and you articulated some interesting thoughts pretty well. You captured the inherent evil of this internet generation - I just don't feel like the thoughts were fleshed out that well. I definitely think if you elaborated more and included more aspects of the internet and online culture that you could've had a really good piece. As it is though, it just feels unfinished.
Vote -- Witty
__________________
Topical C.R.E.A.M.
|