[Split]

Like to see you stretch your rhymes more and be braver with slants. You used "movement"/ oo-in as a end rhyme a whole lot. Strong ending, flow didnt stutter but also came across as safe. Secondary/ internal rhyming was impressive but kinda masked by the paragraph, and the rhyming wasn't progressive/abstract/revolutionary enough to highlight the cohesiveness of the paragraph as a whole. Cool exercise. Keep keyin