Quote:
Originally Posted by CopyPat
Fox my NI**A!
haha. You're very good. this subject matter wasn't my favorite but i think u said this was for a topical or something? Your writing and imagery is very impressive. you carried a complex scheme throughout and made that shit butter smooth. this verse had some length but I did not labor through it because it was written with a real sense of flow, that's tough to do well and u nailed it. only a couple parts i didn't like. rhyming in action with inaction. hahahaha that's david pixley bad. wtf were u thinking? also cancerous whores and cancel his chores seemed like a last minute cheap rhyme to me too. like forced and filler, but besides those 2 this was really really good. did u win said battle with this?
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Thank you and yeah lol I knew people would have a problem with missing in action/dismissing inaction, I did it anyway tho cuz I like the fact that one extra syllable in front of missing and erasing the space between in and action gave it a completely different meaning than the first line...I like when words do things like that, so it was more me pondering the nature of language and experimenting than anything else....the cancerous whore/cancel chores in retrospect wasn't great. Thank you for the feed bro.