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Old 09-08-2015, 09:00 AM   #18
Sn00p
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ydk was decent. wording should've been better. things like using "put" two times in a bar throw me off when it's just one bar u have to write. and it didn't rly use the np to its full effect, becuz i kinda felt the punchline was more focused on the "only thing i put into u is embalming fluid" misdirection thing. but it was a decent bar.

work had similar problems. i have never gotten the seeds of a dandelion in my mouth, & not even as a kid. also, u could've used the blowing part for the wordplay as well, so it'd be a double tie-in. if u had done that, i would've voted for u 100%. as is, ur bar felt a bit lacking. pretty harsh tho, but i don't think that was enough here.

so yea, this was close as fuck. both had some wording issues, but in the end, i think ydk used his concept a bit better. props to both tho, this is one of the closest 1-2's i've ever seen.

v/ydk
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