You dropped some dope lines for a battle situation. Way better than I can do and I've been trying for a month (not specifically on that, but writing in general).
My advice is to use more word play, which I recently looked up:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wordplay
That may help -- and I may have missed some word plays where things had double meaning in your verse... I am not criticizing your writing at all.
In fact, I have a hit list that I'd love to hand to you!