Defiant: This verse seemed a bit aimless at first. You were trying to establish your character's motives but drove us away from the crux of the story, and your images of the man at work didn't seem particularly thought out. But once you shifted to the actual storytelling, things got a bit smoother and more interesting. This take on the topic was good, if not the most original. You told it clearly and cleanly, and you ended strong. The best move sometimes can be to simply dive right into the story.
PancakeBrah: Cashews are nuts. Anyway, some of the rhymes in this were pretty good, and I liked the last couplet about uh-oh. You actually could have turned this into a verse about the topic if you wanted to.
Vote: Defiant
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