Hey Andy,
Almost like your other drop that I read... You have bloody mad concepts... I just wish you would stick with them. Reading your pieces is almost like a continuous "TO BE CONTINUED".
Let me give you some examples:
--- But don't Obamacare like cover that?
No really I don't know that shit. I rarely follow politics.
You followed that up with -
Not sure at all how bad it is but I'm partying like it's apocalypse.
^ That was your opportunity to REALLY deliver something! You could have even kept the humorous theme you were going with. "But don't obamacare LIKE cover that?" < I was laughing here... and then you left me wanting more... and didn't really take me home.
I would love to see you write a piece, with one topic in mind, with every line being a continuation from the previous one... Just so you can see the essence of proper transition. I think it would take you a world of a level above your current one.
You have some witty concepts, and a workable writing structure... Continuation and transitional bridges is what I would work on.
Keep writing mate and I will keep reading.
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