Puke - verse got off to a rocky start. Once you settled into the story like 5 lines in, it got entertaining. Every couplet was pretty fresh. Overall though the verse felt a little hurried but I enjoyed what was there. Very cool concept.
Jenny - I didn't really like your approach. The comparison between the war battlefield and love as a battlefield was tenuous and awkward. I'm sorry, but I was cringing through the whole thing. Duchess exploding, full frontal, pounded your ass. It was just strange bro. I couldn't get on board.
Puke's verse was brief and frustrating because it had potential. Jenny's verse was structured and fleshed out but I found it awkward and creepy.
Vote - purple puke
|