Quote:
Originally Posted by gitto138
I'm having nightmares
I gotta find a way to block them now
I keep seeing demons.. who keep proceeding
to come knocking... when I'm dreaming
I gotta lock them out.. but how
After reading this part i thought it was flowing well,, i think you need to focus more on the concept rather than writing what "fits in" to rhyme.
Dude im just a beginning i suppose, but i just couldnt get into this piece, the structure was
makin it hard to follow,, keep droppin,, oh and tat kodak line,, real bad lol
I fell... and the fucking nightmare ended
That's why every time I wake I'm more demented
not use to shoes no more if they're not cemented
I seem to be fine... stable inside my mind
but I'm just pretending
cause each line written is as cursive in recursion as a vipers venom
Good line, not sure wat ya were tryin to say here though--cursive in recursion as a vipers venom
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another name for cursive is script and related to being cursed. So it was a play on words and it had double meaning
https://www.google.com/search?q=curs...l=np&source=hp
recursion - something that keeps reoccurring with each occurrence becoming a function of the next. vipers venom relates to the base of an occurrence.