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Old 06-08-2014, 07:01 PM   #6
cyph her
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Vul - Happy this topic was selected. I pondered it.. Was the most difficult of topics imo..

that you wouldn't find blooming in gardens in the summertime
pardon the parlance of sullen, sun kissed grime
The universe doesn't see a gray area since it's colorblind
yet like Fukushima, our demise was never less publicized
The Minister of Waterways took a draught of coffee, then sighed
because purity was as isolated as a lost Somalian tribe


Loved the descriptiveness of this piece.. The use of imagery was very imaginative and coupled with the ease of the rhyme scheme made for a compelling read...

Viv -

Right off the bat, you swung hard...

This was routine. Black cats with a sedative gaze; a morphene.
Caution before me, I slunk along shadows down the torn streets.


The visuals came alive immediately, without any build up.. Which is highly desirable.. It seems you wrote it in instances, because it seemed choppy, at times... I imagine it's fairly common to revisit but it always reads very telling..

V - Vulgar - Struggled with this one... but ultimately, the story line of Vulgar's piece I found more interesting..
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