View Single Post
Old 06-01-2014, 08:42 PM   #5
cyph her
decept the con
 
cyph her's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 126
Battle Record: 2-2



Rep Power: 0
cyph her cyph her cyph her cyph her cyph her cyph her cyph her cyph her cyph her cyph her cyph her
Default

Adon -

There were quite a few standouts for me in this verse..

I'm a loving soul aiming at tree tops.
I'd take shots at each goddess but the target would be lost.

It might be hard to see, but my gift is a lesson of peace.
Stuck up whores roam streets searching for treats.

Next I'll hit the road, slaying the hunniest blondes.
The “too beautiful for me” will sing as bullets are humming along


I already thought the story line was great and there were some great visuals. When I got to the end and the bonus of it being about the Santa Barbara shooting was a really creative twist. I think you really captured Elliot's character in this.

Zyg - I love the direction that you took on this topic. It was very well developed, read very smoothly throughout. I think what made this so truly unique to me was that I could really feel the motivation in the character. Intently needing and/or encouraging successful but through non-traditional methods...

Listen closely, because I’ll only say this once - don’t fill it out, snap the pencil, scrunch the paper up.
I want you to get angry, to hold a daily grudge. Success is life. Fear is death. It’s time to throw away the crutch.


I liked both verses, but I think Zyg really captured the topic and in a fresh and unparalleled way.

Vote - Zyg
cyph her is offline