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Old 05-25-2014, 04:00 PM   #5
cyph her
decept the con
 
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 126
Battle Record: 2-2



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CK -- Very well put together piece and seems descriptive imagery was well thought out.. Even the colors chosen "magenta n’ gold" seem to just leap out at you.

Taken away by..

"Existentially a stencil of the mountains she moulded
The bridges she hurdled and the ornament she is holding
Her figure is solid femininity, a fragile symmetry of substance
Satisfied with the tide on her own elliptic plate she romanced
I kiss her wrist and tell her
We will never need a home"

Brilliant. I very much enjoyed the complexity of it, it worked.

Frank -- A lot of great lines and imagery, but the ongoing multiple rhyme scheme just threw me completely off. I knew exactly what was coming and it took my attention away from the story.

I will say, I dug this.. Very unique and descriptive:

"The lush, green, felt table became a damp surface of weighted texture
That slowed down the numerical cubes, which delayed our endeavors"

"As dice careened off the board, decorated and checkered."

This makes for a very interesting read. Both sides were very unique.

In the end, I must go with v -- CK
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