Split - Kind of sudden, sort of a generic ending, although his last thoughts, something unfinished, could be related back to art. I wish you had made that a running metaphor, it would've been tight. Overall, the flow was really good and I liked how you finished schemes in the next line, its complex. The ending was kind of a let down in its relative simplicity, I liked the piece in the middle when it felt biggest.
Time - wording issues is the main takeaway. IMages and dialogue/development both kind of suffered from odd diction and abnormal language. The actual images and characters that were in there were good but could've been a lot clearer and more full (a byproduct of clear language, redundant to note i guess). Flow was cool, but splits was better in the mechanic regard as welel
v - split
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