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Old 04-27-2014, 12:16 AM   #9
Perpendicular
Running Right Through You
 
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Timeless: the seldom bliss/hell a kiss/know we’re fucked/ode to luck bit was my favorite part. This started real strong and forceful and wound out with a good point. The allegory in the middle really tied it all together. Dope verse.
Certain: Great characterization and great spread of characters. I think the verse lacked a strong connection between the characters and the universe, and I look for that in a verse. Also, feel like you spent more time characterizing the first character than the others, which is a shame. The thing that’s holding this verse back the most is that it was encapsulating but not engaging enough.
Vote: Timeless
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