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Old 03-10-2014, 05:38 PM   #17
Certain
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lars View Post
I disagree, I've read your little ballerina ish before years ago so you def. have that to your arsenal. I don't think you're as reliant, technically, on multies and rhyme scheme as I am, so I chose to make that more prominent in mine. Infact, there was a point in your verse where I saw you had made it more a multi-string in yours and thought you had done that deliberatly to counteract what I had done.

Your writing is way too formal at times, too, IMHO so I deliberately opened with something really informal sounding in the "for arguments sake, lets call 'em Alpha and Bet"

It's only a slight thing, but hey, it worked...
That's interesting. I sort of flipped that with the verse I just dropped in Open Mic, the lead at least. But "The Perfect Ballerina" was written so long ago that my writing is nothing like that anymore. I was much more raw and provocative back then. I probably was better.
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