Zyg - I had to read this twice to find the story, but that's because there's a lot of noise at my house right now. Excellent visuals. I felt like you needed a few more bars to make this story successful and I was expecting the ending to really capture the topic, but I didn't find that that had happened here.
Oats - I probably would have gone a completely different direction with this topic, but I dug it from start to finish. Rhyme scheme seemed a little heavy at times, but everything transitioned well.
I found this to be the most significant takeaway:
"So long as you follow new ideas instead of different faces
Emotions strip you naked, happiness is a fleeting endeavor
But accomplishment lasts forever!
or at least for as long as your descendants can remember"
This one was tough, but I have to go based on the execution of the topic... and for that reason...
v-Oats
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