I genuinely appreciate the feedback.
I wrote this in a frenzy, and looking back at it now, I can say the following:
I'm personifying the metaphorical connection between my pain and my passion; either in vain attempts at convincing myself that I am "significant," or a description of the struggle through layered imagery; using freedom language and heroism in the final couplet to pay homage to the paradoxical nature of the verse, but with what can be interpreted as a way out in the end.
Otherwise, I do see and understand your points of view.
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