LOL I thought @
Verb was being a dick as I started reading his post
This was solid, def. read more focused than some of your other work, seemed streamlines and train of thought rather than scattered like your some of your idea scan seem to be in other pieces when you've wrote quick. this was developed. The opener worked really well, reminded me of a piece by Peepers at RnR a long time ago, not sure if anyone will remember that, possibly @
Certain? The repeatition of 'Back when' was a nice touch. The whole end segment where you tied in the two and it bringing you both together was the cherry on the top, ended almost on a Goosebumps book feel, but this is probably one of the best pieces I've read from you as far as feeling overall more 'complete'.
Keep that pen moving!