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Old 01-19-2014, 02:57 PM   #12
Vulgar
Razor-thin derision
 
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,422
Battle Record: 40-25

Accomplishments
- OM HOF

Champed
- Fight Night LIV
- Gimmick Battle League (2x)
- Write Week II
- Art of Writing League
- Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament
- STI
- Haiku Writer Challenge
- GWL Picture Challenge(2x)

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JW - This was a cool take on the topic but one thing it lacked was true emotional depth. The exchanges between mother and son were very mechanical, bordering on generic. I didn't expect the turnout, so props for tying it into the picture like that. The content in the verse was okay. I can't say I was on the edge of my seat, but it was a respectable showing.

oats - Champion level verse. The ending was an interesting turn of events. I figured the picture required you to improvise and have the bomber escape somehow. Very tight execution for this one. The way you worded lines and told the story was a pleasure to read. The references were in place where they needed to be. This was like a Tom Clancy story, highly "American" in tone if I may say so myself...but you got the job done.

Vote - oats
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