[Split]

Idk what you're talking about. I liked the spinning in waves section.

I feel like your sentences ran on way too much and often for no reason. I also don't think your style works well with paragraphs, I agree with dead man. Or maybe, your style just works a lot better in shortbar

You should take a couple pieces and practice saying as much as you can in as few words as possible. Maybe try not using a rhyme more than two or three times.


Maybe make your schemes a little less binary.

This sort of free write is good for you tho

Keep elevating