View Single Post
Old 11-23-2013, 05:13 AM   #6
e11even
V.V
 
e11even's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: .
Posts: 2,076
Battle Record: 31-20



Rep Power: 6247259
e11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant future
Default

NYC- This was a gorgeous read. I loved the details dancing back and forth between the pic and your imagination. I felt who she was through your words, and that was awesome. What feel it lacked was a destination. A closing. A semblance of a resolution. It ended as, "and now she's just chillin there holding that rose..." That left me a little unsatisfied. I loved the buildup though. That means a lot.

Mr. J- IMO this was an exceptional piece. This came off like a pep talk/ motivational speech/ introspective reflection. I like how it ended, but the body was a little misleading. I looked back a little and I noticed how the ending tied a lot of your wording together, which was pretty cool. I see how this piece works alongside the pic, but I kinda wish there were more tangible points where this piece would feel like it was tailor-made for this battle. Cool verse, but the conviction wasn't strong enough for me.

Great battle guys. I'm glad I decided to vote early. I had time to concentrate lol. You both got personal on two completely different levels and wavelengths and you both worked some magic. However, both pieces had places I felt need more attention. For an overall stronger, more thorough showing I believe NYC takes this. I enjoyed you both (thats what she said!). MVGT NYC
__________________
Ahem.
e11even is offline