Pancake's style is unmatched here. The way he takes simples characters and fills them up with details slowly.. hits me every time. Loved this character and the details put in to make him so much more than the words even express. The ending was perfect - so solid.
Pryde... you wrote a story about yourself. It's all good man, just came off a bit too much like typical rap bravado. Didnt' connect with me in a storytelling sense, but you have nice scheme capabilities.
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