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Old 07-31-2013, 11:09 PM   #5
Pinot Grij
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 863
Battle Record: 23-19

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I give this one to Certain Serpent.

I felt story-wise there was more there that moved me. Rawn's story progressed but didn't capture any emotional depth - it was stoic and stern, like a Mennonite... but Serpent went deeper... took the topic to a relatable angle and worked swiftly between characters... nice turns of phrase in there as well

Quote:
We watched Journey and Kiss.
We took journeys and kissed
That's nicely done. Shit like that hits well.

Rawn had a nice piece, but Serpent brought raw emotion that won me over.
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