Round 1 Cypher
 

Feel free to drop bars here. Next round's magazine will feature the best/worst/funniest/cringiest of the bunch

@Zaddy to kick off the thread

how many times have you been smacked in the face?
my guy, you have enough Loses to offset your grandkids capital gains
send your whole fam to Jesus
extended clip. mags got a Longbottom Gryffindor can’t compete with
creep on you undetected so i’ve got the drop..
see you in public & i'm Clicking a few Autos like i’m not a bot
crime scene an absolute slaughter, local PD holding the feds back
detectives lookin’ around like a confused wife...they don't know where your heads at
just had docs shout ‘ur gunna be a daddy’ now i’m thrilled for the winter
only Push Notification you've had is Amazon confirming "your dildo delivered"
jack your drugs w/ the nine or the magnum cuz my tools be varying
stick up like an admission of guilt…free you from all the weight you’ve been carrying
or just snap his collarbone in half no beams n’ hollows
have a doctor looking over his shoulder so much you’d swear he’s being followed
& brooo your girls titties are the saddest of sights
forget Dune, Arrakis something your wife’s never had in her life
enter my house be prepared to eat 3 whole rounds
my whole family’s strapped. even Nantucket like Spree’s hometown
i take a big gulp before a presentation that ends in succession..
you take a Big Gulp cuz you can’t even afford a drink from 7-Eleven
you’re still talkin stocks huh? slimey prick
say your insecurities but realllly you hate being short with a tiny dick
my stock options involve cashing out at the greatest price..
Ryno’s stalk options involve deciding which dude he’s gunna rape tonight
dude talks crypto but bad investments are ending his dreams
irony 101: the guy Pushing Coins is still eating outta vending machines
it’s nothing to slump you dawgie..
i hit the OpenSea for NFTs. you hit the OpenSea when i dump the body
truth is you actually hate crypto. i guess cynics gunna hate
only Seed Phrase your familiar with is your girl shouting "Blue finish on my face"
nahhh fuck your fat wife, i ain’t poundin ya dime
bitch has more gas then every Ethereum transaction since 2009
so don’t try to flex hard please..
one punch to her gut would result in more Ripples than XRP
& i ain’t one for being nice to trash
forget Red Dead…wanna see a Blackwater Bae? give your wife a bath
smash ur head in a parking lot til u’ve been mauled bitch
DING DING DING off a couple of Bumpers no Pinball kid
go ahead & pull ya pistol i won't call for help
i’m reachin for a drum too…those body parts of yours won’t dissolve themselves
they call me one of the best ever and a god of sorts
well yeah, by n’ large...is something you never do at the condom store
plus i sign deals daily and the profit is grand..
next time there’s a Docusign he’ll congratulate you for learning to talk with ur hands
perfect execution. no problems. shottys gunna bust
if something goes off without a hitch shiiiit I didn't secure ur body to the truck
shouldn’t have gotten cocky bro
beat me? you’ll Neiderreiter even better than the hockey pro

Muff taste tests his own sperm, Hens faked cancer, you’re obsessed with the drink
Let’s talk off-sets, DOHpe’s the biggest collective of weirdos to ever exist
My gun keep it 100 for years, that’s a whole century
If urs got a longbottom, mines an ass sagging down further than ur wife’s post-pregnancy
Bitch. Don’t think just cuz you got muscles you brave
put ‘em away pussy. if I see you in tee, I’ll still call you a cunt to your face
all expectations of you fell off hard once the baby was due
we know exactly where ur heads at. ur dickriders abandoned you in favour of Zuch
You cuddled up beside your heavily pregnant wife for 9 fucking months
If doc still had to tell you u were going to be a dad at that point, youre dumb as FUCK
bitch you ain’t busting guns, all your moneys taxed
fuck your cash. There’s a difference between being a stick-up kid and a stuck up brat
I’ll punch this fucking faggot then ghost after
funny you mention snapped collars when it’s evident youre looking to bone Fracture
ur wife got no casabas, just oreo nipples on a young slut mom
mounds so flat i call her Towel Rack. after two pegs ain’t nothing to get hung up on
ur nantucket but we’ve never seen that Smith Point, pussy we clap straight
so make sure if you gonna start Wauwinet before u end up in a Mass grave

That's strange I thought wordplay being top tier was assumed
Was that a rap or an impression of Rock's character in Jungle Cruise?
If there's a king's disease then I get you, I can't say this guy isn't special
But I've BEEN a perfect ten, and you benign since I met you
You're topical reign has never left us, too many useless windshield wipers
But it's so-narrow-in-scope I assumed Cupid was a sniper
I could do a gas leak rhyme or a mystery about a ghastly crime...
If you knew wordplay you'd know I did both at the exact same time
Caution's the side I air on, bitch I'll kill you with a chair shot
Like that actor's last name that's the exact opposite of hair loss...
Connect the dots... I'll wait... This fairy ain't cutthroat
Look bro, you can't make headlines when you barely a footnote
Why do you get no joy from winning yet have trouble with the losses?
Why do people with half the talent get double the responses?
It stands to reason, like a verdict, that it hurts you in private
This Lars persona looking vulnerable as the person behind it
That insights a riot like cop violence; Look at this expired addict
Lines redacted yet there's no meaning behind his blackness
Hospital's staffless plus the ambulance went to the wrong address
I imagined you died after seeing your doc'... John Madden
Now he's going ape shit because moral fibre is lacking
Hoping we bask in his glory like the Tiger King, fact is...
My only competition is line limits... Hospitality just docked here
Come to my backyard you'll probably be saddled with a launch error
Relax I meant saddled with a lawnchair - You'll fail even at topics bitch
Everytime I brush up on your past I get that pale Ian taller gist...
That's what you wish, cuz you awkward as shit dog it's obvious
When's our rubber match?? I can't recall the last time a condom fit
Never known hardships, you're the inner tube that fell in a lake quick
You haven't been through most walks of life, I can tell by your gait, kid
Gap between us is Earth to a spaceship, when results are determined and placed in...
Just know the only way we embrace is with orthodontic work in our faces.

Sup Canada?

It’s workrate over wordplay in topical matches
I could beat you at your own game… but, hockey’s for faggots.
You’re not even battling here! You’re just looking for relevance
come with a clever diss, not one that only insults our intelligence.
I’m the one putting the effort in while you watch from the sides
steady taking shots at a guy you went and lost to last time.
What was it, five-nothing my favour when we got done with that caper?
You doubled my wager and still got left eating the Dust of our Labor.
You struggled your way to a three-round final again
had a highly debatable 2nd round, in a tourney with no recognisable names.
It took 100 lines and some change for you to edge it past him
against a faggot who writes in English as his second language.
You write lengthy transcripts but we don’t read ‘em or wanna listen
we’re not in fear of your comp petition, you’re inferior competition.
I’ve been here since the beginning, you only got in at the end,
no one offers you respect because the competitions dead.
I mean what were you expecting when nobodies even left
to have posited a threat? You’re a novelty at best.
There’s one thing you do well in, yet none of it is fresh
see quantity is negligible when you leave quality unchecked.
You lack logical progression, always plot twists at the end,
with the same comedy of errors right from one into the next.
None of them are memorable so stop with the pretence
like your accomplishments have merit when your oppositions spent.
You’re firing shots behind a fence here just for being heard
if you’re gunning for the Colonel, then sign-up with the reserves.

Alright Colonel, one last time...

Assembly's truly required for these words like a church full of putrid liars
What connects us sets us apart... Even YOU know that Unifier...
Don't talk plot devices when your drops are still doing nosedives
I'm like an Equalizer slaughter scene - I will kill you n' know time
Archived pages but can't compete with all the bars I entomb
I just assume you shyin' away from it like the dark side of the moon
Not enough provisions to see it through... I haven't begun to get into it
Too cloak and dagger; It's no wonder you have a gun but never druid
Beating me once was dumb luck; Now all he does is just trail
I've defeated Diablo, BOOM & Clutbuck, that's 3 to 1 on my scale
Bring on Richard Corey and Pent Up, ain't my fault these old folks have bailed
In the winter of your careers I'm feeling summery... Cole's notes in braille
If your topic was 'grow stale' you'd most likely never get losses
I'm locked up aware, so whatever comes out is a fresh concept
I said I'm locked Tupperware... You veggin' out and left rotten
I'm on edge ready to snap - Do me a solid and put a lid on it
I murder topics before you get started, that's why I get the strap
It's a wrap; The minute you get wind of it I'm on my second draft
Get me my full metal jacket... You're the 'bare witness to the semi' type
With a sentry marked in your sights you'd still miss it, Betty White
Never seen you avenue line, you grew up in sand my fam paved
Sod off ingrate, my yard's like Superman - Always landscaped
Barely holding your weight... How can you still deny I'm the best, dog?
Showed you the ropes now you zip-lining... guess ya too fly to catch on...
Respect is gone but to win it back you have to stay composed
Or you'll find yourself at a loss for words... that's just the way it goes
Stake imposed in this vampire's chest, that last rhyme you spit was a flex?
Guess your fangs must've came out... cuz that was a bit of a stretch
You bound for success? Nah man, we just found you in leather
You keep an ear to street, indifferent; I hear you're down for whatever...
You'll never get off the ground floor; I got penthouse raps dork
So this L evaded, if you're the gold standard then I plat forums
Yeah you won last, but to students in my Masterclass course...

I've beaten him here...

http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=142549

here...

http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=142850

and even here...

http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=144216


Do I have to add more?
Oh you ARE the teacher! That's a riot, ya convo-looted this store
Not even full time, but I guess he subs-to-toot his own horn
I like rape and snuff porn... psych - That's YOUR sad little secret
So when I say I'm engorge, that's-our-chasm between us
Guess recycling was needed; I'm not concerned with your response son
Like Jessie Owens - Those punches will never hold up in the long run.

@Universe you should team with @kungfugrip and hop in

Only if our name can be kungfuniverse and he agrees not to post a line or contact me in any way.

If this is not agreeable then I can fill in for Adverse if he doesn't show. Peter Quill and I can be The Star-Lords.

Don’t you ever get bored of writing that same old illogical shit
like the rest of the forum aren’t aware of what an oronym is?
Malapropisms are simple as fuck, they don’t establish dope writers
they make you a target and I mondegreen like the grassy knoll sniper.
I said I’m on the… Nevermind bitch, let’s get back to the basics,
the lines trash and you failed in your attempt if you have to explain it.
Faggot you ain’t shit. Your styles always been so hit and miss
it’s like throwing a shit against a wall 100 times hoping it sticks.
You’re over simplistic, no one has interest to ever give credit,
at best you’re generic Lars-lite without the technical merit.
You bury your head in a story til you forget where your headed
no wonder you end up here mentioning me, you’ve no sense of direction.
Nobody questions your effort, I’ve no problem with you on that
but bet your Christmas Dinner was trash, you take so long trimming the fat.
Your names fitting in fact since your concepts really old
and everything we see from you today occured fucking YEARS ago.
You’re nowhere near as dope, I’ve been a mainstay in tournaments
the winter of my career means back to back grey day performances.
I’ve reigned straight through all of ‘em with no letting up
so your coat better come with its own feather hood.
You’ve had low pressure months, time to go get your gloves,
I’ll ruin your whole wretched summer with this cold weather front.