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Old 01-26-2014, 06:22 PM   #1
Smooth
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Default Fine Living

Old piece

Im classical.. mime a symphany like Bach and his..
I grab a glass of apple wine when listening to Joplin hits.
Crack the seal on my cheese safe.. snag a Stilton block..
And grasp the heel of a steel blade wrapped in chilton cloth.

Im down with pen strokes an a couple rounds of James Joyce..
Brown once i end those..
I love the sound of James' voice!
Classy? You could say I am.. An old school vision type.
I'm bringing back the classic jams to those who'll listen right..

'Huge' on romantics, I'm Vandross with white orchids.
Il do a show in sand dunes with banjos and pipe organs..
The Al Green of my time.. Full Of Fire, And Love.
With Lassie on my tie and gold designer hand gloves..
I'm quick to share a cherry sprite and listen to Barry White.
I've found a Satin Soul I've been missing since forever..
I zone in when hunger hits and smother it as supper comes..
..float springs in subtle ships an smuggle bits of summer's sun.

Dress up in phyre fashion.. 'Captains hat with ray bans'..
Ghadafi was the shit..
..tigers captured at my base camp..
I replicate an eclectric slide as my crip walk.
And defecate in a skeptics mind cuz I shit thoughts.

..watch me while I kick back in silk rags and turtlenecks.
Pop E and hit hash with six cats in thermal vests.
Cough embers off from my balcony like comet models..
And copp a feather through falconry and rocket goggles.
..sport yellow perry ellis slacks repping Pendergrass.
Tour through meadows of prairie lettuce setting leopard tracks.

You can catch me laying back in a restless-love seat..
And lately maybe making raps to a Memphis Jug beat.
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Old 01-28-2014, 08:29 AM   #2
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Smoothtung I'm guessing? sup brah?

Pretty cool verse. Concept's been done before, but you kept it pretty fresh. Very unique word choice and description, you can see the different influences on the writing compared to strictly NC locals.


I zone in when hunger hits and smother it as supper comes..
..float springs in subtle ships an smuggle bits of summer's sun.

fresh, "float springs" felt weird but otherwise solid bar.

schemes were tight, but some rhymes/ wording came across as too dense. It wasnt enough to negatively affect your verse. The only legit complaint i have is the verse could have been more directed (Gaddafi bit didnt fit). Keep keyin
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Old 01-28-2014, 02:28 PM   #3
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thanks bro, appreciate the time you took to read this
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