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Old 02-05-2013, 09:32 AM   #1
Lars
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Default Doctor Doom on amphetamines

The original micfiend with formidable rhymeschemes. I grew sick of the lime green I used to call home, now that shit is behind me. I'm fooling. Although a lot of truth is said in jest. I'm an opportunist letting stress off so you can second guess my rotten mood, but never question what I do. It begs acceptance. Solitudes an endless sentence to a monster who blends dependency with wanting to pen relentlessly what bothers you exponentially. I've not got a clue what the hell it means. I'm Doctor Doom on amphetamines. I lock my room and attempt to sleep hoping the sonic-booms in my head'll cease before I jump off this roof just to get some peace. I'm seldom seen, yet everpresent. Evergreen and efflorescent. Went from a never been to textual legend between the age of seventeen and twentyseven.


#BLAOW
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Old 02-05-2013, 10:47 AM   #2
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last line - HA actually got a laugh out of me

dope!
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Old 02-07-2013, 07:52 PM   #3
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Although I most obviously dislike the use of evergreen, and thus created much consternation between us in saying so causing you to disregard me entirely, I did quite enjoy this. Maybe your personality, which at times is too much for me, shades a preconceived negative perception to your pieces. An overly critical eye for someone who blowjobs themselves so much, maybe? But in all reality this was of course upper tier/echelon/pedestal/loveseat. Most people can't write something like this;

I've not got a clue what the hell it means. I'm Doctor Doom on amphetamines. I lock my room and attempt to sleep hoping the sonic-booms in my head'll cease before I jump off this roof just to get some peace.

That's extreme(EXTREME1!!!111!!11) rhyming with a point with nothing forced. A veritable ejaculation of creativity, ready for birthing bitches. Non-sterile. No, but really that was fucking dyamite. Ur 1 cheeky kunt m8.

And in the hilarity of all hilariousness that's ever happened on this planet, of course the ender is moist as well. But I still do have a contention with the word evergreen. Perhaps you are metaphorically evergreen? Like a soldier who is afraid to shoot? Are you Meryl Silverburgh, shaking a FAMAS next to Solid Snake? No. I don't think so. It did make the ender rhyme beautifully, though.

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Old 02-19-2013, 12:26 AM   #4
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This deserves more feed tbh. Somehow all you're rhymes seem a little forced to me, but when I look into it, it's just the accent. Could you please write with an american accent? That'd make it a lot easier for me. Thanks. :)
Well, content-wise, I liked this too. One can see it's written quickly, but it's fucking clean for being a quick drop. Good shit. The read never got boring. Ender was cool of course. I liked the lock my room line too.
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