02-27-2019, 06:46 PM | #1 |
He / Him / His
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 1,675
Battle Record: 20-1
Champed - Summer Classic IX
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Rep Power: 12534701 |
16
The underdog but never the fan favorite
What good is jumping off if your head hit the damn pavement? I'm on a bridge with a message from van halen Like "God, I'm pickin hell instead of this damn nation" Addicts all around you - some regular anne frank shit Kids moving bricks is better than grand masons Ask em if they'd kill you for benny & grant faces They all would... nah gipetto you can't raise 'em They know the right band will get her to dance naked Be it the right jam, a wedding, or cash payment The 5 keep em running like presidents campaigning Whoever said the ghetto was better than plantations They all talking shit, I'm forgetting the damn language I been trynna find a rosetta for translation Lean in the shot like kevin durant fadin Red in the damn face - yosemite sam wasted |
02-27-2019, 11:48 PM | #2 |
DMS—Diddled My Stick
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 1,104
Rep Power: 0 |
Good shit
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02-28-2019, 08:55 AM | #3 |
............
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,938
Battle Record: 3-3
Rep Power: 0 |
Raw bro...Think your wordin' could be tinkered with, but only slightly from a readers perspective so the flow is more catchable...I caught it, just sayin'.
Stay dope brethren. |
02-28-2019, 08:58 AM | #4 |
BesT™
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 596
Rep Power: 1628180 |
dope, could fuck with the flow especially throughout the second half
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02-28-2019, 10:34 AM | #5 |
Shrewd as evearthed
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Wolverhampton, England
Posts: 8,251
Battle Record: 28-3
Champed - Gimmick Battle League
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Rep Power: 85899391 |
I’d nitpick over using damn twice in the first four end rhymes, but that’s just me being a perfectionist no good asshole that would never rhyme that tbh lol
I ain’t hating though, this was good Beginning was better to me than the latter half of it preference wise but I don’t like judging stuff for tracks like I would text pieces, the two are different beasts to me and I write nothing like I would in text for actual songs lol Record it bruh
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