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Old 01-29-2014, 06:42 AM   #1
Concrete
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Default Final Flight

the trail for victory.. a brave mission to beat the elite..
they failed so miserably.. never visioned defeat by deceit..
those dark clouds ain't metaphors.. thundering by is an aerial assault..
sky firing sparkles of proud predators.. sundering as the area is lost..
crashing to smash buildings.. a second plane glides in for the next kill..
morally deficient examine for exits.. it's useless hydeing like jeckil..


*grabs speaker*
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING!

a hijackin skyjacker in command son, this phantom don't take ransoms
death to demons in mansions is demanded, cuz devils make tantrums!
listen up, this mission force a collision course - we take no prisoners
commander is demanding a crashlanding, dismantling a nation dissin us
got a deathwish, the West is the deathlist, they will remember this
hit your premises with no premisses, pissed off terrorists never miss

better reminisce, you filthy pigs need a bloodbath, it's your last hour
we're just pawns in a game, but like chess, even they can blast towers
our God is not some odd fraud, we on some Jihad shit to strike the rich
fight for this, in cold wars the warrior refuse to freeze up like a bitch
the martyr of the charter signing off, to all you pussies hating on me:
I got heaven in due, with seventy two unfucked pussies waiting for me!

so, who is this attacker that's comming at ya?
the pilot of your final flight: Mohammed Atta
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Old 01-31-2014, 07:19 PM   #2
Frank
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Default

ويسرني في نظر هذا. يمكنك الفضوليين. هذا سجع ما جرئ معظمهم Font. السندات.
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Old 02-01-2014, 12:12 AM   #3
2XL
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Default

Not a bad little piece. I think your wording needs to improve a little. Im also kinda new hear and haven't really read much of your stuff.

a hijackin skyjacker in command son, this phantom don't take ransoms

I don't get why you need to say your a hijackin skyjacker. It just seems like reiteration for no reason. And calling people son just doesn't sound authentic with the piece being a 9/11 terrorist

better reminisce, you filthy pigs need a bloodbath, it's your last hour
we're just pawns in a game, but like chess, even they can blast towers
our God is not some odd fraud, we on some Jihad shit to strike the rich
fight for this, in cold wars the warrior refuse to freeze up like a bitch


I did like this part nice flow and meta use displayed

I think it suffered from lack of length. no real buildup and the character seemed extremely confident considering he's about to martyr himself. Virgins in heaven or not. Your rhyming ability is def there though. Cool for a small piece but I would have liked more
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