01-29-2014, 06:42 AM | #1 |
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Final Flight
the trail for victory.. a brave mission to beat the elite..
they failed so miserably.. never visioned defeat by deceit.. those dark clouds ain't metaphors.. thundering by is an aerial assault.. sky firing sparkles of proud predators.. sundering as the area is lost.. crashing to smash buildings.. a second plane glides in for the next kill.. morally deficient examine for exits.. it's useless hydeing like jeckil.. *grabs speaker* LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING! a hijackin skyjacker in command son, this phantom don't take ransoms death to demons in mansions is demanded, cuz devils make tantrums! listen up, this mission force a collision course - we take no prisoners commander is demanding a crashlanding, dismantling a nation dissin us got a deathwish, the West is the deathlist, they will remember this hit your premises with no premisses, pissed off terrorists never miss better reminisce, you filthy pigs need a bloodbath, it's your last hour we're just pawns in a game, but like chess, even they can blast towers our God is not some odd fraud, we on some Jihad shit to strike the rich fight for this, in cold wars the warrior refuse to freeze up like a bitch the martyr of the charter signing off, to all you pussies hating on me: I got heaven in due, with seventy two unfucked pussies waiting for me! so, who is this attacker that's comming at ya? the pilot of your final flight: Mohammed Atta |
01-31-2014, 07:19 PM | #2 |
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ويسرني في نظر هذا. يمكنك الفضوليين. هذا سجع ما جرئ معظمهم Font. السندات.
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02-01-2014, 12:12 AM | #3 |
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Not a bad little piece. I think your wording needs to improve a little. Im also kinda new hear and haven't really read much of your stuff.
a hijackin skyjacker in command son, this phantom don't take ransoms I don't get why you need to say your a hijackin skyjacker. It just seems like reiteration for no reason. And calling people son just doesn't sound authentic with the piece being a 9/11 terrorist better reminisce, you filthy pigs need a bloodbath, it's your last hour we're just pawns in a game, but like chess, even they can blast towers our God is not some odd fraud, we on some Jihad shit to strike the rich fight for this, in cold wars the warrior refuse to freeze up like a bitch I did like this part nice flow and meta use displayed I think it suffered from lack of length. no real buildup and the character seemed extremely confident considering he's about to martyr himself. Virgins in heaven or not. Your rhyming ability is def there though. Cool for a small piece but I would have liked more |
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