Life's a Bitch............Keep a Tampon handy

Mr. J · 07-06-2015, 02:03 AM

Do I crave the chips or just the page & script
I should erase this shit, & make it make sense
nah, what's demonstrated is the minds ability
to splice agility with words that align like symmetry
slight instability, still the feeling is twice tranquility
I fight back cynic dreams another splash in the stream
I flash with chances again but relax in a spin
I'm at it again, nah, I'm just in the accurate dense
repackaged the skin put it in the plastic & rinse
kept it a '100' a couple times over, hittin' my quota
got your pigeons like soda, then spinnin' like Yoda
Snake eyes dice roller, tongues bitten like cobra's
look at my quota...I'm just kiddin' right? hold up...
I'm very void living in a buried voice I'm scary boy
a varied choice, the cherry's moist, but pears are noice...
double back, to where troubles at, then double that
full frontal grasp of one cuddle cat & one disgruntled mass
I could play bitch if you gonna be suckin' the same dick
this is aimless but embrace it before the hit just caves in
I hit my stride a long time ago but never made it easy
I played it sleazy, the 'brains' deceive me, as you out weave me
this shit is funny right?

this is what ugly's like..
when the hand take over & the mind steps back

tell me where my heads at

before I therapy bed that...

and let my lead act....

Pharaohs Army · 07-06-2015, 04:10 AM

I can't believe I just read that.

---
Lmaoo. had to.

On the real tho, will feed one of yours and also some other folks within the next few days.

First part of this is dope. very cool rap material. The rest is Ok (starting after "hold up") but I am assuming that as you went along you were bending rhymes and experimenting a bit. perhaps you said as much, with, "this is aimless but embrace it"

"a varied choice, the cherry's moist, but pears are noice"

^this line sucked.

but i like your style and all the other lines are pretty cool as far as puttin some multi's together&flowin

Mr. J · 07-06-2015, 10:38 AM

It was fun to write. boredom got the best of me last night
a mixture of qwarter references, a drug reference and the part you quoted...

well that was a vagina reference...the pears are breasts
I was going to say something along the lines of...Barry Bonds
Berry...something something something..

But I didn't want to force it...the direction it went was funny to me though

Mr. J · 07-09-2015, 11:13 AM

water fountains are filthy

Pharaohs Army · 07-14-2015, 06:35 PM

and btw yes, pretty darned funny.
the second half of this is doper than i originally thought. adventurous- but good phonetics.
but don't worry,i'm still a reliable constructive critic.. i still stand by the fact that 1 line in this,sucked.

Bodey · 07-20-2015, 01:05 AM

lol I dug it

07-06-2015, 02:03 AM	#1
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,022 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349678	Life's a Bitch............Keep a Tampon handy Do I crave the chips or just the page & script I should erase this shit, & make it make sense nah, what's demonstrated is the minds ability to splice agility with words that align like symmetry slight instability, still the feeling is twice tranquility I fight back cynic dreams another splash in the stream I flash with chances again but relax in a spin I'm at it again, nah, I'm just in the accurate dense repackaged the skin put it in the plastic & rinse kept it a '100' a couple times over, hittin' my quota got your pigeons like soda, then spinnin' like Yoda Snake eyes dice roller, tongues bitten like cobra's look at my quota...I'm just kiddin' right? hold up... I'm very void living in a buried voice I'm scary boy a varied choice, the cherry's moist, but pears are noice... double back, to where troubles at, then double that full frontal grasp of one cuddle cat & one disgruntled mass I could play bitch if you gonna be suckin' the same dick this is aimless but embrace it before the hit just caves in I hit my stride a long time ago but never made it easy I played it sleazy, the 'brains' deceive me, as you out weave me this shit is funny right? this is what ugly's like.. when the hand take over & the mind steps back tell me where my heads at before I therapy bed that... and let my lead act.... __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

07-06-2015, 04:10 AM	#2
Pharaohs Army Banned Join Date: Aug 2014 Posts: 2,962 Battle Record: 6 - 14 Rep Power: 0	I can't believe I just read that. --- Lmaoo. had to. On the real tho, will feed one of yours and also some other folks within the next few days. First part of this is dope. very cool rap material. The rest is Ok (starting after "hold up") but I am assuming that as you went along you were bending rhymes and experimenting a bit. perhaps you said as much, with, "this is aimless but embrace it" "a varied choice, the cherry's moist, but pears are noice" ^this line sucked. but i like your style and all the other lines are pretty cool as far as puttin some multi's together&flowin Last edited by Pharaohs Army; 07-06-2015 at 04:14 AM.

07-06-2015, 10:38 AM	#3
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,022 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349678	It was fun to write. boredom got the best of me last night a mixture of qwarter references, a drug reference and the part you quoted... well that was a vagina reference...the pears are breasts I was going to say something along the lines of...Barry Bonds Berry...something something something.. But I didn't want to force it...the direction it went was funny to me though __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

07-09-2015, 11:13 AM	#4
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,022 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349678	water fountains are filthy __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

07-14-2015, 06:35 PM	#5
Pharaohs Army Banned Join Date: Aug 2014 Posts: 2,962 Battle Record: 6 - 14 Rep Power: 0	and btw yes, pretty darned funny. the second half of this is doper than i originally thought. adventurous- but good phonetics. but don't worry,i'm still a reliable constructive critic.. i still stand by the fact that 1 line in this,sucked.