My brain hurts

[Mutilate]

I ain't grow up in the hood, so what i lived in the suburbs
I still know some people that get it poppin over one word
To say my life can't be hard cause of color that's absurd
I was hangin with dudes who wasn't actin they put action to the verbs
Word.
So nah I ain't black, but that don't mean I haven't seen shit
You ever been, road tripping with ya day 1 to pick up 3 zips
Living in a nightmare, tryna get a mean grip
All you had to do was serve the trees to make a clean flip.
Day before my graduation, I was in a cell waitin
For the bail money to come, boy I had to be patient
My momma prayed for me daily, begging God to come save me
While I'm conversatin with satan popping pills so he could take me
You mother fuckers ain't me, I know alotta yall hate me
Cause I speak it how I feel boy, you'd think I'm pinocio the way I keep it real boy
Riding round in the jimmy with the steel boy
Robbed a bummy lame for an ounce money and some pills boy
Chucked his phone out the window as I was whippin the wheel boy
I kill boys, either physical or lyrical combat
You'll get folded quick with loaded clips If you fear it then fall back
Aw snap, I'm going in exploding then holding in all the potent shit floatin across the ocean it's over with missiles come off the shoulders, hip
Feeling like you got boulder hit
Pistols come out the holster quick
Gimme all that you holdin bitch
Cause I'm the grand master with plans of disaster
Spitting faster till the dam fractures
And starts bending man backwards

...
...

You can't see me, I'm out your optical reach
Digging toes in the sand as I flop on the beach
Do you not understand? No comprehend no capeesh?
I'm getting topped by a freak who only rocks Jordan socks & the sneaks
Punches land to knock out your teeth I rocket your eye socket for eyeing MY wallet imma beast, haven't reached the top of my peak
I can't stop I'm unique you can go kick rocks with your feet
Or play hop scotch in the street
Ya beetch

...
...

The grand dragon with pants saggin, got my #wcw in the back of the van gaggin blasting Eric Clapton
Take the gag out her mouth then stuff my dick in it
I'm twisted shit, fill her mouth before she could stut-stut-stutter a sen-ta-nence
Wicked bitch. Always knew she was into this
I drill and twist, my little prick, hoping no one hears the struggle
The vans parked beside a tiny drive, perfect place for me to hide
Take it out, replace an open mouth with a muzzle
Back to eating Cheetos and watching cheap shows, look out the window seeing kids shoot some free throws
Thinking about how to end this girl, she's finito

[Geno]

hmm..

i dont know about this topic man.
its been done over and over and over again. to be honest i dont think i ever appreciated any one of the threads ive read similar to this content wise.

the writing is good in spots, awkward in others

example..
I ain't grow up in the hood, so what i lived in the suburbs
I still know some people that get it poppin over one word
To say my life can't be hard cause of color that's absurd

the highlighted area was clean, just thought the opening line could have been reworded better before the comma.
the third line reads really bumpy because of the wording also. this is where im concerned at. if you just would have dropped a word or moved stuff around a little it could have read much cleaner and effortless. that needs work

this goes on in random areas throughout the piece
in an audio track this may not have the same technical issues depending on your pronunciation. just something to consider man.

thanks for posting -stay active, feed... post more work. see you around

[Mr. J]

This was an interesting piece..its odd seeing the difference with the newer piece
Seems like a controlled topic opposed to your more lyrical pieces i.e. 'Go To Bed'
The flow of this felt all over the place to be perfectly honest.
but as my good friend Geno said 'the beginning was worded funny!
could use a little tightening here and there but I 'think' you improved so...yea