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Old 06-11-2019, 12:14 AM   #1
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Default HYPE MAG MAG (featuring Veritas, seth, Innovator, and Incredible)

[Intro]
Yo, whatup Netcees. It’s your motherfucking boy Sharp with the next generation of text mags. Welcome to the first and hopefully last text mag mag, where we break down and analyze text mags. Shoutout to Veritas and Seth for helping make it happen, today, we’re looking at this ‘hype’ ‘mag’:





[Analysis by Sharp]


Subject Frequency Chart:



The Takeaway:
This is some daring shit. Your motherfucking boy is trying to capture to niche interests in a niche interest, fans of discussing Sharp and fans of construction equipment. It’s bold, but maybe it’s the outside the box thinking text needs. For years, text battle mags were about text battles, but look what’s become of the hobby. Incredible is taking a new approach, invoking the league this is hyping up about as often as he says ‘Yo, whatup Netcees’. This is the Dada-ist movement entering text battles, and I’m sure the league will be equally innovative.


Incredible’s demonstrated reading level:

For this segment, we will measure the implied literacy of our boy with the Flesh-Kincaid Grade level. FKGL rates text on a U.S. school grade level. For example, a document with a score of 8.0 means that an average eighth grader can generally understand it.

Flesch-Kincaid Grade level of transcript: 3.87

I thought to myself, ‘This seems a little high for your motherfucking boy, so I rooted out anything that our tool might not recognize.

FKGL with all jargon/swears removed and slang approximated to dictionary words: 2.34

The Takeaway:
Incredible is using English at nearly a 3rd grade level. Outlying words were all swears, excavator, BAL, BodySnatcher, Rich, nah, yeah, and Incredible. When replacing ‘Incredible’ with ‘me’, the score drops to 2.12, meaning Incredible’s English language comprehension is demonstrably higher because of his username, BodySnatcher’s username, and how often he says ‘motherfucker’.

Flesch Reading Score

FRS is measure of ease in which something can be understood. Lower score = higher difficulty to understand. 60-70 is common English. Most webpages/articles/books meant for mass consumption hover in the 70’s.

Spotify’s Terms and Conditions: 36.31
Sample of graduate-level homework assignment: 63.89
Selection from chapter one of Doctor Zhivago: 73.39
Transcript of mag with extraneous words removed: 95.96
Full text of The Very Hungry Caterpillar: 96.97

The Takeaway:
Incredible has managed a score so basic that I can’t reproduce it without children’s books. To be this basic requires a concerted effort, so I have to ask why. It is my theory that Incredible is making a big brain play for text magazines. By speaking in language mostly comprehensible to a toddler, Inc is trying to reach the next generation of textcees before they realize what text is. If you watched the video of the grown man making construction sound effects and riding around on his big truck and thought to yourself ‘this isn’t for me,’ odds are you are correct. Incredible is providing us with innovative, forward thinking, and (some would say) avant-garde text magazines that must be meant for children aged 4-7. If you know any children in that age range, do your part for text and show them that video mag. Text’s outlook is dim, but there is a bright spot in our future in the work of Incredible.

But for real, I’m thinking when he takes a hiatus its because he forgets how to spell ‘netcees’.



[Interview with Incredible]
featuring Innovator, seth, and Sharp





[Analysis by Veritas]

VERITAS HERE, I am typing in bold. I thought I would help get your summer off to a great start by doing what I do best…helping. I stumbled across a video which I thought really cried out for attention and was a call for help, so here I am to do so. The following is a transcript of Incredible’s hype mag. Of which, I will easily show you, is not all that it appears. Upon deeper inspection it is highly suspect. I will show to you how it is actually a sadomasochistic insecure homoerotic love letter to Sharp and possibly also a confession of incredible lacking any fatherly acceptance. Without further ado:


Yo whatup netcees. It’s your motherfucking boy
Netcees is dad. Incredible is the boy, the boy is cursing his father for fucking his mother. Freud 101.

Incredible with the best fucking video mags. Let’s see you try to copy this one Sharp.
Here he wants sharp to copy his fucking videos. This is subconsciously his desire to see sharp in a fucking video and give it his “best” just as he is.

Yeah, you got a whip, you can drive around, make fun of me making a video but what’s up man?
The whip refers to the Incredible assuming the submissive role. He wants to be whipped and drove around (whatever sort of lewd act that implies? I assume having his face pushed into the floor and slid across it forcefully? Please clarify, sir.) He then immediately adds the fact that perhaps his aforementioned “best” is not the best, and he secretly knows that and expects the ridicule that he secretly knows he deserves. This also ties into being a good submissive. Punish me Master Sharp.

Where the fuck’s your excavator at? Where the fuck’s that at?
ex·ca·va·tor
[ˈekskəˌvādər]
NOUN
a person who removes earth carefully and systematically from an archaeological site in order to find buried remains.
a large machine for removing soil from the ground, especially on a building site.
This is truly fascinating. Here our friend Incredible is saying that he is ready to remove the layers of his fake persona and expose what hidden beneath. It is also highly sexual, in that he is wanted Sharp to scrape his ground apart…on his building site. The building site refers to his buttox, as when a child first starts building their interactions with their world, they can only lay down and/or sit on their hindquarters.


Let me see you turn your fucking bucket man.
Now we have Incredible blatantly asking to see Sharp sexually gyrate for him. This is the sort of language a lumberjack would tell a stripper.

Let me see you pick that shit up man.
More sexualized talk. Even deeper the idea of picking up shit…shit is something that should be disposed of, but instead he wants sharp to pick up the shit….and do what with it exactly? Interesting yes?

Come on man.
Here he blatantly expresses a desire to ejaculate on males.

Yo whatup netcees why the fuck everybody slacking and shit?
Here once again he calls out to his father who he feels failed him, and he in turn failed him, which leads to the coginitive dissoancne of a classic chicken or egg scenario which we do not have the time to expound upon, but I trust you all are sharp enough to get it. Sharp enough to get it…do you see what I just did there? At any rate, moving on.

Is it really cause the Summer man I don’t really remember bro.
FASCINATING. He immediately follows up with blaming the summer and how he was at home from school and father still did not find approval in him, but he then conveniently forgets this.

But look I don’t really got much to do so I can’t really do much but all I’m doing is flattening out this motherfucking road before all the dump trucks can come in here and dump some more dirt.
The language here is honest and contradictory. Here he admits that he is inadequate sexually to Sharp’s standards, but blames this on the fact that he is inadequate. Ok, that is fair, I guess. So now he is wanting to scrape his “machine” across the “brown and round humps” Until there is more “brown and round humps” for him to do so again.

So what’s up Sharp? Come on man let me see you copy this video bro.
“sharp I am not up to par with you sexually, but I want to do my best, I have made a mental video and I want to know if it aroused you. What is up? Is it your penis? More homosexual ejaculation beckoning. Now you make a video for me, Sharp, please, I need it.

Can’t copy this video bro. Now what the fuck else bullshit you want me to talk about?
Here he subconsciously realized he was being too brazen, to out in the open, so he decided to try to play a little hard to get, he also wanted to go back to the inflated ego state of how he is sexually adequate enough of your approval of him as his lover, and his father’s approval of him as a son.

Yall motherfuckers still gonna listen to this shit. Yall motherfuckers still gonna watch the fucking video.
“Dad I need you to listen to me! Stop fucking my mother and acknowledge that your son wants to smooth out another man. Come on man. Come on man. Love me sharp. Love me dad. Here is the video. Watch it.”

Talk shit all you want. But yo, whatup netcees. For real though man, everybody be slacking and shit man I’m about to start this BAL up.
Here we are back to wanting to discuss feces. Obvious anal-stage sodomy fascination. Also wanting to talk to it, i.e. putting one’s mouth to it. The plot thickens. What does the BAL stand for? If we look at it closely, we see that he could be summoning the ancient demon baal to help perform and anoint his perverted and deviant sex acts.

Man, Bodysnatcher you know I still need to get in touch with you bro
Now he is summoning baal to help “snatch a man’s body to get in touch with.”

and I’m really sorry about that but I ain’t forgot about you man. But yo, BAL come back full swing,
“I have some remorse but now I have envoked the demon and I am wanting to include other men in our sex acts, sharp. Let’s swing. Fully.

mag, video mags, I mean, next motherfucking video, I’ll get you in - let’s see if you can see it over there - oh, there’s the frontloader right there. I’ll get you in the frontloader. Next time we’ll do that motherfucking video.
This is so overtly sexual that It is almost comical. Here he beckons to the “front loader” is this now referring to the penis rather than the anus? He wants to do a video of you with him getting in your penis. The only way to do that is with his butt, or maybe his mouth. He is asking if you can visualize this happening. He is saying he will “get you in”…..one of his orifices.


But yo, BAL coming real soon, probably within the next week or so. All yall motherfuckers that be slacking and shit better come to this shit yo. Summertime.
Here his demonic master is going to also be ejaculating and incredible is hoping that sharp and anyone else is as turned on as he is while making this mind video.

Let’s do this shit right, let’s get this heat cooking,
He wants his ass fucked right. make it hot, Sharp.

everybody need to come do this shit. Expect crazy-ass videos from me.
He wants the swinging to happen, an open invitation to penetrate his butt, and more videos about his crazy ass sex thoughts.

Ay ay ay yo. Yo yo yo yo. Yo come on, Sharp. Let me see you do this bro. Let me see you extend that motherfucking extendo bro. Yeah you ain’t seeing that extension. Yeah motherfucker. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Come on man. Come on you
In the context of this ANALysis, I think the above is pretty obvious. Here he wants to see Sharp become erect, while also belittling his own erection. But still he wants to ejaculate on a man, and that man is you Sharp.

wanna see me break some trees or some shit man? Come on, I can break these motherfucking trees over here bro. Motherfucking trees don’t stand a chance bro. Yo hold up. Nah there’s just fucking bitch ass trees. They ain’t really really fucking - fucking fucking yo gotta fuck em up –
The trees represent nature. His aggressively latent homosexual urges are breaking nature all around him. He is now feeling confident in being honest about it, and then wants both his father and sharp to know that the dye is cast. He is going to fuck butts, and get his butt fucked. Probably more of the later because of his submissive nature.

pshhh psshhh (noises) - crush man crush! Ha ha. Made the shit drop. Whatup Rich? Come on how do you fucking switch the camera around while you on the phone? I don’t know how to do that shit while you’re doing a video man. But yo, there it is, it’s motherfucking Incredible, get your motherfucking minds right, get ready for the motherfucking BAL,
Here he fantasized more sexual intercourse….his butt was penetrated and that made the shit drop. He then once again in typical fashion belittles his sexual ability by claiming ignorance of how to be engaged in gay sex while still operating the camera. He then says that his demon master is coming, both metaphorically and literally. This is gross and disturbing to me.

yall trippin. Sharp, you trippin motherfucker. You don’t like this video well fuck you bitch.
Why does he say y’all then refer to sharp in the singular. This is because Sharp is the every man. The everyman that Incredible wants to let humiliate him and butt sex him. He then finishes with, of course, you guessed it, casting aspersions upon his talent and ability to provide enjoyment. He wants the basis of the sex to be angry and shameful, rather than loving and nurturing because he never felt acknowledged by his father.

Sharp, I would stay away from this guy. Kinda creepy.



[Outro]

This was a lot of fun tbh. Inc, you wanted a response. Shoutout to Inno and seth for their part of the interview and a huge shoutout to Veritas. I haven't legit laughed out loud from reading a forum post in awhile, but his breakdown broke me multiple times. Incredible, I truly wish you luck with your league.
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Why does he say y’all then refer to sharp in the singular. This is because Sharp is the every man. The everyman that Incredible wants to let humiliate him and butt sex him.
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Old 06-11-2019, 08:06 AM   #2
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Lmao
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Old 06-11-2019, 08:36 AM   #3
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this was hilarious lol.


how inc said tho " I never seen a bar where people attacked someone kid"

uh

my daughter been involved in more battles than most battlers here lol

people make me out to be some monster here. just trying to survive tbh.

I thought the inc interview was awesome tho legit.
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Old 06-11-2019, 11:01 AM   #4
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@Incredible

After analyzing the interview I missed how you said you had to wake your kids up to get your sister

No one mic cuts sound well enough to deny that one or three possibilities exist and no others

Did you, in a frustrated fury, forget to bring your kids with you to get her, forget about her all together for 30+ minutes, or did you make up the whole thing for attention?
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Old 06-11-2019, 11:26 AM   #5
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Still wanna know wtf wrong with Elton John tho
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Old 06-11-2019, 12:51 PM   #6
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Wtf is inc smoking?
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Old 06-11-2019, 04:41 PM   #7
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Yo so @veritas when I call on you to help with mags. I expect a "what do you need inc." response. I will request your services when needed. Thanks in advance.

But word this was dope I'm glad you enjoyed typing about me for hours instead of more constructive things you could've been doing. Don't ask like what because there's tons.

Also this league will not happen until two things happen, bleak is cool but seth got to go as mod. Don't need nor want his help and could give two fucks if he even participates.

Also the league can't be a sub forum needs to be on the main page. Was your league a sub forum. So if your just trying to be a funny guy by making it a sub forum so no one will see it then this will not continue.
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Old 06-11-2019, 04:44 PM   #8
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Wtf is inc smoking?



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Still wanna know wtf wrong with Elton John tho
I guess inno like mfers that suck dick makes sense why he so cool with sharp
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Old 06-11-2019, 05:09 PM   #9
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Yo so @veritas when I call on you to help with mags. I expect a "what do you need inc." response. I will request your services when needed. Thanks in advance.

But word this was dope I'm glad you enjoyed typing about me for hours instead of more constructive things you could've been doing. Don't ask like what because there's tons.

Also this league will not happen until two things happen, bleak is cool but seth got to go as mod. Don't need nor want his help and could give two fucks if he even participates.

Also the league can't be a sub forum needs to be on the main page. Was your league a sub forum. So if your just trying to be a funny guy by making it a sub forum so no one will see it then this will not continue.
First you want a response

Then the response has too much effort

One of the many differences between you/your work and me/mine is that I don't just give the bare minimum effort. If you're putting forth nothing in your mags aside from hitting record, I'm gonna call you out on it and I'm not for half measures. Take that angle all you want after you put any effort into a legit mag/league for a few months


bleak is the BA mod

Seth was in case I had trouble posting

And it's the BAL. I made it a subforum because it's the battle arena league... You want the battle arena?
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Why does he say y’all then refer to sharp in the singular. This is because Sharp is the every man. The everyman that Incredible wants to let humiliate him and butt sex him.
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Old 06-11-2019, 05:13 PM   #10
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I guess inno like mfers that suck dick makes sense why he so cool with sharp
You're just mad that my bar graphs hit harder than you punchlines
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Old 06-11-2019, 05:14 PM   #11
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Didn’t even know I was a mod in here lmfao

You salty af inc

lil bipolar pussy
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Old 06-11-2019, 06:18 PM   #12
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Yeah and everything you eat is extra salty.


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Old 06-11-2019, 06:39 PM   #13
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Again he can't handle the actual conversation without little played out disses
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Old 06-11-2019, 07:15 PM   #14
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Incredible I will help you when you call.
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Old 06-11-2019, 07:30 PM   #15
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Again he can't handle the actual conversation without little played out disses
What actual conversation? The one about you being a fucking arrogant asshole?
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Old 06-11-2019, 07:37 PM   #16
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What actual conversation? The one about you being a fucking arrogant asshole?
The one in my posts... Want to hash it out in a bags moderated discussion?
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Old 06-11-2019, 07:53 PM   #17
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Your post was a fucking try hard please please netcees laugh at my jokes I was able to put together with my friends tehehe I'm funny still right guys? Bags please respond first.
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Old 06-11-2019, 08:05 PM   #18
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One of the many differences between you/your work and me/mine is that I don't just give the bare minimum effort. If you're putting forth nothing in your mags aside from hitting record, I'm gonna call you out on it and I'm not for half measures. Take that angle all you want after you put any effort into a legit mag/league for a few months

And it's the BAL. I made it a subforum because it's the battle arena league... You want the battle arena?
^^looking for a response from you here bud
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Why does he say y’all then refer to sharp in the singular. This is because Sharp is the every man. The everyman that Incredible wants to let humiliate him and butt sex him.
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Old 06-11-2019, 08:28 PM   #19
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Um fuck you. Ok?
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Old 06-11-2019, 09:00 PM   #20
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I guess inno like mfers that suck dick makes sense why he so cool with sharp
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