Shadow Boxing Pre Magazine/ NBL Season Finals Magazine

[Hush]

intro

Catch you fuckers at a bad time ? It’s hot as hell outside , Covid still reigns supreme , and our streets are policed by antifa . Oh did I forget to mention it’s 100 degrees everyday ... gosh jeez golly dang ... if only we had a hobby that could keep us indoors during these trying times . Text. Fucking. Battles. You heard me shitstain.. we reviving our 8mile fantasies and url wet dreams . And here I stand .. Willy Wonka ready to unveil his newest Gobstopper. Damn right , I’m going Vince McMahon full text battle promoter in the coming weeks guys. My job will be to make this fun , interesting , cool and fair . I also have the best looking wife on here ... anywho. I love you guys . My legs are getting really strong and I am working on abs . Would you fight an Alien ? Dungeons and dragons is cool as fuck, I got new dice . Anyway .. let’s get to the get down



Shadow Boxing 2020


I know I ran this once before back in the day . I will prolly did for some links in a few ... but yo those that got the super secret DMs know what time it is . We have a few Hall of Famers competing, some of the most creative punchliners still going it , as well as some faces who have been away for a bit competing. This should be dope and do a further job or beating down vote bias and vote copying . I will be releasing the battles one by one to increase drama and tension and well as ensure each battle gets all the looks it deserves. If all goes as planned winner will have heavy bragging rights , maybe I’ll cash app u 20 bucks to buy lunch too . Thank you all for being down for the culture and being prompt with ur sign ups and responses . I’m open to new ideas let’s have some fun

Throwback Battle from Shadow Boxing I

Preview

Gunbar king @murda sho faces off against the current NBL champion @Tic. Both have earned there spot in the Finals as the competition in Shadow Boxing was heavy for all involved. Repp to both of these guys for sticking out the tournament and making it a huge success. Without further delay lets get to these bars.



Tic is +2 votes due to sending his verse first




Murda Sho
Im droppin fire soon as I go in, u'll fall to the blast yo
It'd torch ur skin so much Hulk Hogan would call u a Sambo
Speakin of racists if u got ur bros on the block to come get me
The semi'd be spraying more hoes than the cops in the 60's
If ur friends hype for u lets see if they fight for u...
When I paralyze u with the 6 like Drizzy lets see if they write for you!
Scope at his brain, watch him talk till it's stable...
Snipers dont lie they tell the whole truth cause ima put it all on the table
Im with the cool crowd at the bars they'll acknowledge me...
This nigga wouldn't get accepted if he was a heartfelt apology
Ur chick supports u and now u steppin to legends?...
It not fair she sports the "that bar was fuckin hard face" 24/7
Just cut it out, you've really sucked this round...
I mean because of USB won't be remembered like corrupted files
U wont be at an advantage when these bust off fool
Cause u may have the 2 up on me but I got the peace up on you!

Zip Him Up!




Tic
Please respect, you’ll be Gaspin For Air when you meet the tech
Fuck Temperature. My Trigger Finger’ll Empty ya Body of Fluids…that’s a Heat Index
You’ll meet your maker. I’ll have you dead quick for yappin & bitchin
One punch to ya Heart’ll Make Amend w/out sayin the act of contrition
From afar you may look rough, but homie I’m certain ya culo…
On Closer Look, your punches have no Signs of Impact, like the surface of Pluto
This bitch’ll get slain, trust not 1 clip will remain…
When I come through & MTA chamber - It’ll feel like you got hit by a train
Reading ya lines is a Strain, a Mixture of shit that’s never hittin
Nothing Solid ever gets thru..making your verse a Sieve fit for any kitchen
You talk shit like you’re dope, & should be renowned to all & feared?
How....when the balance of Uh Oh’s statement Accounts for your career
Try allllll you want, trust you'll never slay me tho
Step to me & all you'll hear is Shots of Metal Ring Out like Big Baby's roast
After this slaughter you won’t see this Vet Comin Back, I’m shootin this lame
I don’t care that we saw Resurrect from the Dead, you won’t be doin the same

[Hush]

PBL - Pic Battle League


This shit is going fire and @Sharp has been doing godmod duties the way only he could . Bless your liberal heart my brother. I want you guys to know that this league is the companion piece to ANY tourney I run . That being said I will use it to punish you heathens for foul behavior . Any prop17 or fuckery will be punished with mandatory votes and links . I will love to do away with this soon, but I still don’t trust you animals . @TOP iLL DRAGSTER TWO I’m looking at you . I will be grading the roast from a week or so ago, because you guys deserve it and @Barcotic looks like a total fucking GOOF. Pls vote this week and every week in the pic league . Join up, if your that ugly fake a pic no one cares . Right @Aero?



Interview with ModGod @Sharp any other newer guys that are turning your eye as of late ? And side bar did you see the Justice League movies ? .. if so which one of them are you


The coolest thing about this pic league has to be that while half are established talent, the other half are pretty new but all killing it. Adverse scared me with a 'k thx' signout but he's made some funny observational bars. He'd probably slaughter me in a pic battle haha. Dave is an enigma but knows what he's doing, and this is the best I've seen Wanderer and FGR drop. Two months ago I didn't know who zuch was but he was SC runner up. Sorry if I missed anyone else.

And I know this is hard to believe with pics of me on the site, but I really never got into superhero movies... I think half of my superhero knowledge came from googling bars I've read here


Yeah it’s hard to keep track of the stats . But I do really think every person in the league could beat any other person on the right day with the right pic . My bad for the superhero shit, I’m not trying to put you in a box the movies are really good and your doing yourself a disservice . But fuck that lol. Any tourney ideas your hoarding away from us ? What should be next ? Tag team ? Should we do concept battles where we see who flips ideas better ? Concept battles where we diss a movie character or celeb ? Or just regular schmegular ole 32 man mega tourney


All good haha. I keep meaning to watch them, maybe I'll get around to it.

For our next event, I'm looking forward to seeing shadowboxing, I remember it being dope. After that, I know I'm in the minority, but I like gimmicky crap sometimes. It's probably cause I'm always around and modded enough NBL seasons for one lifetime. But I just find writing for regular battles boring unless there's a narrative, you know, unless it makes sense. For us, I think it's just whatever the community will participate in. The pic league wouldn't have happened without UserName bugging me for a few weeks. Just don't want to over-inundate NC with the same kind of stuff.




Well said . Let the community decide the recipe and me and you will chef it up. Thanks sharp . For the love of god watch Avengers or we have no hope of defeating the Aliens
Final thoughts ??



Props to everyone like yourself actively contributing. The verses and votes are the blood of the site but those events make up the body. If anyone has a suggestion for a league or tournament, let the general population know.


Pic Roast Week 3


Vulgar

Drugs rarely solve an issue. Be resilient and hold poise
Sure, Pillsbury your problems, but you'll never get rise from us, doughboy
that was on point, the way you worded it was slightly off my g.
Nobody sees u as a threat, ur a menace at most
Not only are u mean-spirited with a giant diaper, u resemble a sumo wrestler's ghost
lol thats funny man, u have a unique and silly style that can be hit or miss. this was cool. it didnt hit but it wasnt wack either
Did someone uppercut you with Thor's hammer for complaining so hard?
You've got the flattest chin on the planet to round out the square that you are
smooth
Mentally unstable & all of your performances lack crowds
At times, you act 'white and off the hinges' like that door in the background
lmao tight
Listen, King Twat, you drink lots so bring scotch
If I guessed what's under the magician hat? A skimpier version of that Lord of the Rings watch
nah lol



Destroyer

weight takes a toll on ur heart, it’s no surprise that this guy will die
but this pic a time capsule...and I hope it’s extremely slow release cyanide
nice.. ur grammar kinda was wierd, but thats nit pickin, whatever I like this
U fat white fuck. When was this shit taken, in 9-2?
look, nokia ever save u & they’ll have to break the door down to find u
lmaoooo nokia wp u rascal u, no
Aint shit in this pic but a wack hat and dead flora
exploring new territory on the bathroom scale like wtf they fed Dora?
lmao nah bro cmon man.. i dont see it she dont even wear a hat
how the fuck are u HOF??? take a look. U were never king
And here’s proof that u pale in comparison to...well, literally everything
nah broski. maybe it he was the whitest thing in the pic but its all white iunno. im looking to deep in this but nah




Wanderer

After witnessing this pic I say it’s the end for this sleeze
Looking like a fat white Blu Cantrell... no way we’re letting u breathe
I dont get it, I dont know what that is, but I like how u said he looked like somebody else, thats my shit right thurrr
& believe the piece I got tucked’ll cause harm
Fill ur face with a few hollows til it resembles the one on ur arm
thats nice, i had to check the pic again, i fux wit this
Somehow u look past ur teens but I don’t understand
How u look like u just copped ur first R&B CD & changed how u dress to make make ur parents mad
while this is indeed his origin, u worded this in the most boring way possible. i fell asleep on my way to the punch and when I got to the punch it was a explanation of how he was a wigger
Suicide or death by embarrassment. That hat’s a trend u ain’t bucking, just stop
So many ways to kick the bucket... I’ma just roundhouse ur fucking top off
cool I dig this
Bet that phone was real slick back then, u not a threatening killer
When I open the slide & a flash follows I won’t be taking selfies in the mirror
ok cool I guess, whats up with u guys and opening the slide on ur guns lmao i never heard of this idiom, but ok fuckit whatever..


Hush

U love gun bars and look like a fat reject . Kill ya self for respect
Nice chinstrap . Hope the next ones a suicide shot thru your neck
eh not really tbh
U kept getting fatter As u shrink inside . Emotionally I think u died
Take one step .. that’s a all white movement that got KKK rethinking sides
thats light but ok
The neck beard /dj mashmello look was definitely a strange stage
You look like a jar of mayonnaise got hit wit radioactive brain waves
lol no
Did you shoplift from a Salvation Army outlet ?
Ppl describe u as off- white and a pair of those shoes cost More than ur outfit
thats a reach but aight
U was obviously gay back then .. living life in disgrace
Ur exciting as watching paint dry - an no stranger taking splashes of white to the face
aight


Barcotic


Best in history, but no one's considering me the now
They say I'm over the hill..... I say I'm literally a cloud
um ok
Big punches in small bars and still my flow is quite doper than peers
Hats off to 2nd place. Thank God I took my own advice over the years
i like how u tied u falling off with u taking the hat off, that was tight and deep
Wand gon' kick me in the head? Hell, we can spar..fuck jiu jitsu
And speaking of roundhouses, ya can't tell me apart from an igloo
lol ok
A huge frigging blob who raps. Dude's thinking fondue platters
Hard to digest, but this is what it looks like if food didn't fall thru Casper
thats fire
Rise and shine, sky looks bright & already bless
Hush is cooking in pics this wk...why do I look the wannabe chef ..
no
One shouldn't flaunt his riches if he doesn't have a pot for pissing
Clearly time has passed, otherwise I'd still think that watch is living
for real what a peice of shit watch , good line


Evad


Just captured in one pic, all the reasons we hate you
If those brows were any more spaced out they’d have a dmt breakthrough
lol nice
This dude disputes everything, doggy been a disgrace
Just call him pale and he’ll argue til he’s aquamarine in the face
ok
Incest is not cool, u should leave out the fam with some things
But no surprise this bootleg billy corgan likes to smash n pump kin
nah man no, no dave , bad
Fuck you and all your aliases, when my crew come past
And have Hands on his knees shaking like the Dude Love dance
love the dude love reference, hate the line


Amen


It’s 2020 gays are accepted, take the opportunity, most wont mind man,
They say; “when one door closes, another one opens” as he proudly exited the closet behind him.
nah dude u stretched this bro
Must be attending an all white affair? What kind of attention’s this fag seekin,
So out of touch with fashion, rocked a fedora instead of a pointed hood for his KKK Klan meetin.
ok
You aren’t mentally stable, the ego must weigh heavy on you being bipolar,
But you have our support to spare a hand with a Glock and help lift the weight of the world from your shoulders.
thank god u make over 80k cuz u suck
Let’s be honest, you’re far from G, you’ll get bodied if you step, it’s a fact, b -
Think shit is sweet? I’ll swing the machete till I have you resembling a peppermint candy.
ok


inf


One shot make him a backsplash, he'll die when it's spread
Homebody; insides tickled pink... blood on the wall mix white w/ the red
lmao is this a pair of haiku?
Guy has been fed; In '11 old Cro back then was a true beast
You Adipose there... but since lost baby fat % & no longer produce heat
what
Think you always win, robbed votes. finally gets em some help
There he 'lost in his head'; first time after a breakdown he admitted himself
thats fire if it means what i think it means and im not even sure i know what i think i might know what it means, wtf man
Homely mental ward, hall of text accomps spells this guys doom
Only thing close to classic in this pic is it makes us think of Cream - "White Room"
who
& to call that dope swag\tat got me lol'in @ the geek hard
Can't afford a large cup at starbucks - inks ya idea of a Marshmallow Dream, Bar
sure fine whatver
Pic midway NC to RB.. wack wordplay future to be layed down
White bred sandwiched between sites. & "that door jam hit em on the way out
no


Read this shit a few times, had a winner in my mind from when I first read it a few weeks ago, but sometimes I think if you let a battle age an revisit it you will often find you have changed your mind. anyway, it is with a heavy heart that I have to say barcotic got this...but for arguments sake an also placating egos I will rate each verse in order


1 @Barcotic
2 @Vulgar
3 @Wanderer
4 @evaD
5 @Destroyer
6 @Hush
7 @Amen
8 @INF srsly wtf was this guy talking about


so yea. barc got it. happy barc, u won. YOU WON BRO. everybody look BARCOTIC WON IT

[Hush]

NBL SEASON ENDING TOURNAMENT

What a sad sack of horse shit this has been huh? Who's the asshole who shit the bed on this one? Tbh I'm not stranger to giving up on leagues or tournaments I was modding so fuck it. No harm no foul. Most likely you assholes were no showing and bitching all fucking season long and deserved to lay in this bed of piss and lice. Yeah fuckers. Hope you loved it up. NBL is going away for a LONG time after this little dog fuck fest. Sup Exis. Seriously. Let's finish this shit out like Champions guys.


Who is left?


Resin - Has the best chance to win this for my buck. On paper it really favors Resin, but being great all the time isnt easy. & ive seen Resin falter a few times lately. I would still put my money here. 2-1 Odds


Adverse - Ive seen high highs, and low lows for Adverse. It's all about momentum and getting hot at the right time. This will certainly be a uphill battle, but with concise editing, and not using the wrong bars, I wouldnt exackly be suprised. 10-1 Odds



Wanderer - Similiar to Adverse, if Wand can find his sweet spot I can really see him making a strong run here. If I was you guys I would write a ton of fucking bars and then cut 90 percent and whatever was left I would reword, then use that. It's that kind of mentality that wins this shit, sadly. Mamba mind brother 10-1 Odds

Inc - I deadass remember Inc being good, or above average. Like high mid tier. Lately I read his verse and I wonder if he even speaks english as a third langauage. I dont see this happening 100-1 Odds




WTFs of the WEEK

WTF @ none of you pussies wanting to fight an alien, im so dissapointed in some of you
WTF @ founding roots member MALIK B dying RIP
WTF @ a random new battler showing up 10 seconds after barcotic retired again
WTF @ chyeeah popping back up to let us know were going to die again
WTF @ geno being convinced trump started a war with CHY-NUH bcuz 'seeds'
WTF @ daves cat, that motherfucker is badass
WTF @ how good i am at cornhole. BEST NONE WHITE EVER
WTF @ sports opening up to possibly close again
WTF @ how easy it is to bread chicken cutler wit hot cheetos

Outro


Dont know what to say much anymore. Might be moving to video mags. Would you guys like that? Do you guys want to see interviews done in audio format? Let me know fuckers. Be humble, stay blessed, and don't stop dreaming!

[Barcotic]

Accomp me

For dissing my 14 y/o fat self lolll

Cool mag @Hush
But don't use the word goof

[Sharp]

Dope mag. Def looks like a goof

[Destroyer]

Solid mag
Solid tag
Yes on video mags

[Wanderer]

Great stuff

Video mags would be dope

[Neighbor]

FIRE

Well done, my dude

[Adverse]

Dope mag Hush

NBL has been weird lol I hadn't even had an opponent in the playoffs until this week

[Amen]

Lol @ 80K

[Allen Knight]

Dope shit. Props.

[Geno]

Fuck... Nice work

[Inno]

Props on the mag hush

[FGR]

I'll vote on these tonight

[Unfukwitable]

still need votes?

[Answer]

the battles have been locked for a while

[Hush]

Honestly I got frustrated with this due to the voting . I will restart it at some point with a twist . Don’t want to step on the great job Zuch is doing in NBL right now

[Dope girl]

awesome