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Old 07-18-2018, 08:12 PM   #1
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Default 1-2 PUNCH WEEK 5 MAG: NAN NANNY BOO BOO!

INTRO



Yo what’s up guys I literally was this fucking close to not putting a mag out this week because a bunch of people flaked who were supposed to help. But of course I can’t let y’all down like that so I’m dishing one out regardless. This past week was pretty cool, we had A LOT of big upsets including both contenders matches. Shoutout to bleak for always being down to battle whoever, even when all odds are against him. And this nigga actually wins. Props bro. Now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for...


BATTLE REVIEWS


Destroyer (2-1) vs. Incredible (2-1)

I somehow forgot this gem of a battle. My apologies. Incredible didn’t drop too good of a punch because destroyer won..Des Punch concept wasn’t great but it hit because it was a cool personal on Incredible bar last week. Destroyer got a well deserved win here and advances to Duke it out for the contenders match. Keep ya head up incredible.


DMS (1-0) vs. Cereal (1-2)

Battle of Lenox’s shitty alias against my boy who can’t form a punchline if his life depended on it. DMS dropped a sorta kinda personal on Cereal that involved his losing record in the BAL and 1-2. It hit decently and gave him the win over Cereal’s oddly multified punch of nothing lol what was that bro? Do you even try or are you just troll fucking me huh? DMS won.

Cashius (2-1) vs. MMLP (2-1)

Cashius came with a pretty good punch in my opinion, it had an effect on both MMLP and Lars. It was a combo of a personal and harsh hitting concept that landed pretty smoothly. MMLP had something about “you don’t wanna fuck like Hillary Duff” lol I didn’t quite understand it and it pretty mud missed his opponent. Cashius came up with a clear win and moved onto the contenders where he’ll battle Jabari’ Blackness.

Plot (1-2) vs. veritas (0-1)

Plot actually came out swinging here and surprised a lot of people with a pretty nice punch. It was a cool concept that tied in boof with Veritas and Satan, and hit em right in the peehole. Veritas literally had a punch about urine and the number 8 and I’m just not quite sure wtf he was going for. It was a complete miss and I’m convinced he’s trolling but whatever, at least he shows. Plot won in a blowout.

Burd (1-0) vs. Amen (1-0)

This was a pretty cool battle. Orc came with a pretty played concept at this point but it had a nice flip to it and hit Amen profusely. Amen had a pretty clever concept but many thought that it wasn’t executed in a way that was harsh enough. Orc ended up grabbing the W here.

Innovator (1-2) vs. Flow (1-2)

Ok guys let’s face it, topical/poetry is pretty much dead on forums now. There hasn’t been a successful tourney or league ran in a very long time. I’m glad you both decided to ease up on the topical realm and make your way to the text side. Both have been doing good and gaining momentum. Personally I wasn’t a fan of neither punch here. Inno had one about kicking it raw and tied it in with a pair of fucking socks lol what? Flow had a decent concept that was overly worded imo but ended up getting praised by enough people to grab the win. Good job guys.

Jabari Black (2-1) vs. Pinot Grij (1-1)

This was a pretty cool battle here. And one of the biggest upsets of the week. Pinot is a known legend and always comes correct, by
JB was able to outdo the vet and get the win. Pinot dropped a bar about black mirror that is a dope concept tbh but the way he executed it just didn’t work out well. Jabari has a cool line about durag knots and how it’s an everyday struggle for blacks in the hood to be able to achieve getting waves in their head. I hear you bro, dope line overall and it got the approval of the people. Jabari won.

Blue Bayou (3-0) vs. bleak (3-0)

This was definitely the biggest upset of the week and sent bleak sailing into the champ Match. Blue dropped a punch about Ancient Rome and gladiotrors fighting to the death in the coliseums. It was a pretty decent punch but the fans thought it was no competition. For bleaks punch about how yoshis shitzu had his sword in blue bayous gf’s stomach. Like seriously? Since when do we call a dick a sword? Lol I mean we all get the punch but come on bro. It’s like calling your dick a lamp...bleak ends up winning here and advancing to the champ Match to face chyeah.

Cred (0-1) vs. Killing Spree (0-1)

This was a very close battle and there was really no telling who was going to win here. Cred had a bar that was a combo of swag/flow and a slight diss to Spree. Spree had a little trouble wording his punch which was a decent concept. That’s the only prob with ks tbh, his wording. At this point I just think his stuff is too rushed. Cred ended up winning this by a slim margarine and improved his record to 1-1.

Schadenfreude (3-0) vs. Chyeahhh!!! (3-0)

This was another upset of the week, the crowd felt that chyeahs bar was better by a slim migraine as well. Schadenfreude dropped a jaw dropped of a bar about children’s games and have a few fifth graders stick arms in your face like nanananana I say heeyyyyyyyyyy nanananana. Chyeah had a mildly decent bar about 2k and created players lol I really didn’t like it but luckily for him, Schad didn’t drop anything better than that. Chyeah won and progresses to the champ Match against bleak.


”INTERVIEW” WITH A VAMPIRE


Interview of Amen...didn’t go as planned

https://m.soundcloud.com/jdm-nations/amen-interview

FUCKING PREDICTIONS



Contenders Match: Cashius (3-1) vs. Jabari Black (3-1)

This is my pick for BOTW hands down. These guys have been absolutely killing it so far in the league and surely deserve this contention match. Cashius is a vet and knows how to technically dismantle his opponent, I think he has a slight advantage based on tenure and vet cock sucking. Cool. Jabari is a rising star who’s made it clear that he’s a top tier competitor who’s looking to cut off some heads. This will definitely be a close one and can go either way. I’m gonna day Cashius edges it. Cashius 55/45

Blue Bayou (3-1) vs. Schadenfreude (3-1)
Here are another two dope battlers who were defeated last week, both by upsets. Now I expect both of them to champ this league at some point, they’re both elite. Blue has a fan of wordplay and Schad is a fan of kidz bop tunes. This will be a close one as well, but I’m gonna go ahead and say Blue edges it. Blue Bayou 60/40

BodySnatcher (1-2) vs. Pinot Grij (1-2)

Horry fock whaddya know it’s another dope battle here! Two guys who are known to drop dope bars and kill opponents. Pinot is looking to redeem himself after last weeks loss, and I have a feeling his gonna come out slinging haymakers. Body is another rising star currently and is doing a fantastic job making a name for himself on the board. He’s been killing the BAL and is looking to do some damage in the 1-2. This ones definitely gonna be tough but I’m gonna day Pinot edges it. Pinot Grij 60/40

DynamiCz (0-2) vs. veritas (0-2)

This is an important battle for both of these guys because they each need a win on their record. DynamiCz has been destroying people in the BAL lately and is now back to try and claim the 1-2 title. Veritas has been slacking a bit and not putting too much in his punches. I’m hoping he switches it up and gives us something good to read. I’ve got DynamiCz in a clear win though. DynamiCz 80/20

Diablo (1-0) vs. Facts MuhSheen (0-0)

I’m afraid that MuhSheen may not show, I remember him showing up to a few NBL battles this pst season but idk here. Diablo is a good brutish battler and is looking to go 2-0 all in one week. Diablo 90/10

Innovator (1-3) vs. Killing Spree (1-2)

Here’s a battle where I believe the odds are a solid 50/50. This is definitely anyone’s game and the winner is gonna be unknown. Inno can surprise people with some cool punches and Spree can always dish ouT some shit but definitely has to clean up his wording. A LOT. 50/50

Twodrop (3-1) vs. Destroyer (3-1)

This is an important match because the winner of this will get put in next weeks contenders matchup. Twodrop has potential to drop some dope stuff but can be a hit or a miss. Des hasn’t dropped a single good bar this season but I think that’s because he hasn’t had much competition maybe? We’ll see. It’s gonna be a toss up but I’m gonna day Twodrop Wins. Twodrop 55/45

Burd (2-0) vs. DMS (2-0)

Congrats to both of you for going undefeated so far. Burd has done great beating some mentionable people such as.....SIKE I LIED you haven’t beaten anyone good yet man. DMS is bound to lose here based off of pure different in talent but hey who knows these days. Burd 95/5

Flow (2-3) vs. Incredible (2-2)

I’m sure these guys have battles before in the BAL, there’s like 5 active battlers there so it’s had to have happened lol. Nah I’m jus fuckin with you incredi. Flow is a good battler, despite his W/L ratio - he can definitely beat some dope people. This match can go one if two ways, but I think it’s gonna go Flows way. Flow 65/35

Plot (2-2) vs. MMLP (2-2)

This should be a close one, both have already dropped their punches and people have yet to vote. Good luck fellers. Plot 60/40

Cred (1-2) vs. Chainz (1-1)

This battle is already open for votes and the crowd is learning more towards Cred. Good punches were dropped by both battlers and it’s still early. Cred 75/25

Amen (1-1) vs. Barcotic (1-1)

Lol this is my favorite battle so far this week. Good luck to both of you guys. Won’t sway much here.

Champ Match: bleak (4-0) vs. Chyeahhh!!! (4-1)

Lmao I honestly have no idea how this shit happened and your guess is as good as mine. Bleak has definitely been improving each week and has certainly shown the people that he’s here to win shit. Defeating dope heads like Blue & Schad, he has a good chance at winning this. Chyeah has been doing good also, and has beaten dope people as well. This will be close but I have bleak here going home with the belt. bleak 55/45


DON’T VOTE IF YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THE WORDPLAY




BLEAK BLABBER

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jabari Black View Post
I’ll let a few mags clap. Grab the MAC and lay this dude out flat/
Or a gun butt...the strap’ll make a knot on his head like a durag flap/
Quote:
Originally Posted by bleak View Post
Bitch I'll lift the Tek&Tag you, then steal yo whore in a rush.
Think Yoshimitsu: she bent over BOUNCIN' with a sword in her gut
-That's all cause I don't fuck w/ yall like that, shout out Jabari

Worst Punches:

Cereal vs Lenox
ass/ass-settle pettle this kettle aint black..
the only way this fag greets you is reminders of the past

-Ass/ass the only way to describe this shit. 50 50 split headass ass looking boi

Incredible vs Des:
Didn't watch FBs message?? Yeah right fucker you know the scene
Feast your eyes on inc...I justed chewed you up & spit you out like his KFC

+ everything you posted in the cypher @Incredible foh Zelph would body you and steal your kids again.

Innovator vs Jay the Welshman
if u want a lighting round, I’ll let the pump spark till your stuck to the wall
Watch blood pull down to yah socks, only time they’ll say flows kicking it raw.

-Should have stuck this to the wall and studied it before posting.

All love tho

I'd like to thank David Lama and Papa Legba for accepting my soul in exchange for better wording. Good luck to whoever my opponent is this week, never battled either so it should be fun.

-b

CYPHER WINNER

Undecided. Check back to winner edit.


OUTRODUCTION

That’s all this week folks. LR battles from this week will be reviewed in next weeks mag. That’s how it’ll always go for those. This shit is still running very nicely and I look forward to nothing at all. Night.

Last edited by For Battling; 07-18-2018 at 09:32 PM.
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Old 07-18-2018, 08:13 PM   #2
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Old 07-18-2018, 08:18 PM   #3
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Stop @ing me
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Old 07-18-2018, 08:28 PM   #4
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Lmao!!!!!!
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Old 07-18-2018, 08:34 PM   #5
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Lol props.

“Yo, what if I told you my laptop died. I don’t think it recorded”

That shit killed me!
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Old 07-18-2018, 08:43 PM   #6
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you don't know how this happened? you pregnant nigga?
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Old 07-18-2018, 08:48 PM   #7
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lol’ed at the Barcotic bar breakdown in video. What does LR stand for btw
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Old 07-18-2018, 08:48 PM   #8
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what wordplay tho? lmfao

dead at the first "baaaaags!"
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Old 07-18-2018, 08:50 PM   #9
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So you don’t even review my battle?
I see you
And your lip
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Old 07-18-2018, 09:24 PM   #10
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So you don’t even review my battle?
I see you
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Lmao my bad I didn’t realize. I got you in a sec
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Old 07-18-2018, 09:29 PM   #11
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lol’ed at the Barcotic bar breakdown in video. What does LR stand for btw
Long Rifle
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Old 07-18-2018, 09:41 PM   #12
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Dope mag

But how cute is it that bleak is kissing zelphs chicken skin, no not his lip. Yo mad bro?
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Old 07-18-2018, 09:59 PM   #13
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Hahah bagsssss
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Old 07-19-2018, 12:43 AM   #14
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Good shit lmk on those preds/reviews earlier in the week next time if u need
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Old 07-19-2018, 03:15 AM   #15
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Fire mag for barely showing
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Old 07-19-2018, 06:31 AM   #16
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Just saw the video, LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.
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Old 07-19-2018, 06:36 AM   #17
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Just saw the video, LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.
Lol bro I feel tried that you wanted to do this interview thing yet you didn’t prepare anything at all for it smh

It kind threw me off

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Old 07-19-2018, 06:38 AM   #18
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It was ok as is.

Your questions led to conversation. If I had asked questions, it would have been a 30 minute plus phone call discussion about netcees LOL.

To long for an interview but would work more or so as a podcast themed discussion.
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Old 07-19-2018, 07:04 AM   #19
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Fucking vid got me screaming looool
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Old 07-19-2018, 07:10 AM   #20
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Fucking slayed @ “LOOK ON EBAY!!!”
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