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Old 07-25-2014, 11:27 PM   #1
Certain
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Default AOWL SEASON 3 MAGAZINE — EDITION 20 — CHAMPIONSHIP PREVIEW


Season 3, Edition 20 // Playoff Championship


Two Men Standing
INTRODUCTION by Certain





Bienvenidos, amigos. We've reached the championship round of this here Art of Writing League Season 3 playoff tournament. And it's come down to two men, one whom some expected to get here and the other who would be described as at least a slight surprise by most. But don't overlook YDK, and don't overrate Certain. This is a compelling clash between two veterans who have never met. And with the help of a lot of different people, we have plenty of analysis for this championship battle. Let's get to it!



THE INTERVIEW by Certain, with YDK
Let's take a closer look at who the No. 14 seed that reached the title match is, from his own words, as interviewed by his opponent.





Hi, YDK, my sworn enemy for this week. How are you doing as you prepare for the pain I surely will inflict upon you in the Art of Writing League Season 3 championship?

Well honestly i'm so fucked up on percs right now I can handle any pain you send my way lol but i'm testing a few different verses and versions atm to try and figure which one would have the best chance to beat you.


This tournament has been pretty insane. How surprised are you at how everything has broken?

Other than Frank no showing me and basically giving me an easy road to the champ match i'm not that surprised. More no shows than I expected obviously but with out sounding to cocky I saw myself making it this far if I could get past frank's bitch ass. I assumed I would either be facing you pancake or oats in the champ match.


What type of strategy (be as vague as you'd like) are you going to take as the underdog?

as I said i'm writing a few different verses this week which is a first for me. normally I only write one verse and only spend about 30-45 mins on it but this week, just for you, I've got about 3 so far that i'm working on flow wise wording wise and concept wise ;)


Why do you think you get underrated?

cuz i'm fuckin lazy as shit and never spent more than 45 mins on a verse...literally ever. My adhd doesn't let me spend more than that one one verse an I rarely can even pick up where I left off unless (like now) i'm extremely motivated


What was the last verse you were really proud of?

Probably the verse I nearly beat frank with last season when it was the battle books lol other than that probably the verse I used when I beat beyond


Which writer on this site do you aspire to equal? Which writer outside of this site?

Deadman by a long shot. Outside of the site...nobody really, unless we're talking entertainers and actual artists maybe Wale, I love his spoken word type verses


Tell us about your child, particularly its complexion.

BOTH of my children take after their mother lol she's half black and both my kids are a quarter black but it is definitely the dominant gene. you'd think being 3/4's german they'd be a bit lighter but dna says ha fuck you cracker jack you aint getting your baby back! lol


What's your favorite preparation of chicken?

Really certain? another reference to the darkside lmao I love fried chicken but Jess my fiancé cooks this baked chicken with who knows what and turns it into a chicken parmesan with home made red sauce that I would probably do horrible things for


Do you drink or exercise more often?

exercise for sure. I rarely drink honestly, on my days off I usually either spend most the day playing with my son running errands or doing yardwork at my grandmother's house and I don't drink unless we don't have the kids and I don't have to work...which is never


Explain Kentucky.

Think of Cincinnati, add some trees and a few less sky scrapers, and a redneck alcoholic every 5-6 blocks, and there you have it lol way down in the south east and west its fuckin hills have eyes meets deliverance with a few less teeth


Is there anything else you'd like to add?

Yeah, My name on the Champed list


Thanks for your time. I'd say good luck, but I wouldn't mean it.

I'd say good luck and mean it but that was mean so...good luck anyways...i'm just happy to be battling in the champ match honestly lmao



Semifinals Rewind
BATTLE REVIEWS by Certain
All four competitors came with good verses this round to the topics of Futurama episode titles, though the results showed two blowouts.





1. Certain beats King Ra. 5-0. | The Route of All Evil
BATTLE OF THE WEEK! This probably was the best battle of the tournament. Certain's verse almost unquestionably takes the title of best verse of the tournament, being described as "bordering on masterful," "very 'pure' writing" and "just good." He took the title in a broad sense and used it as the framework for a commentary on society and grief. King Ra. went for the straight-forward story, and he told it very well aside from a few slipups. Ultimately, the ending wasn't quite justified. But his small-scale storytelling really shined and could be something for him to build on in the future.
Quote:
Originally Posted by King Ra. View Post
"Sir, if you're going to drink, just remember it isn't safe to drive...."
Enter the darkness, the unknown. Where it isn't safe to hide.
Where every emotion gets placed aside. You can't ever shake the vibe.
Just take the bribe. Don't sober up. Let the taste accentuate the hype.
Separate your mind from your ever-wasted pride.

2. YDK beats timeless 5-(-4). | Less Than Hero
In this battle of the two biggest underdogs in Art of Writing League semifinals history, they kind of showed why they were considered underdogs with a couple of good-but-not-great verses. YDK was the clear winner with a more compelling story, writing about a trip to a different planet in the year 3010. He wrote with solid fundamentals and had a very cool approach and theme that tied into the ending. That type of creativity could help him with the championship. timeless' surprising run came to an end despite a verse that clearly was demanding. The ending didn't set right with any of the voters, and the storytelling bounced from being smooth and solid to awkward and clumsy. But he should take a lot of confidence from his performance this season as he continues to develop. timeless did weirdly disappear from the site and fail to vote, so hopefully he is alive.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timeless View Post
I still had the night sky-
but my life took 18 years to not even begin to accomplish-
the blood, sweat and tears that pull me under just to drown in nonsense.
My boat capsized, I thought i've done the rounds with 'progress'.
Made it my whole life, and I still add up to less feelings of a hero.
I cleaned the mirror so I can see my stress reeling in more clearer reflections of timed plots.


Championship Preview
ROUNDTABLE with Adonis, dead man, El Pancake, Split, Vividlyvague, Vulgar and Zen
Seven of our finest topical minds attempt to provide guidance to our two finalists, Certain and YDK.





How do you see the championship match between YDK and Certain working out?

Adonis: I think certain will Def come correct. But YDK actually impressed last week, which means he's applying everything he can at the moment. To me, dk is the flavor of the month. Much like March madness, it's not always about the better team, sometimes it comes down to gets hot at the right time. I think YDK can pull it off in all honesty.

dead man: as something unexpected.

El Pancake: Certain's going to win. I see it happening fairly convincingly. YDK will put everything he has into his verse, because he wants to pull out the miracle. I predict this will result in some overwriting. It may end up being his best verse on this site, but I'm not sure it'll be enough. Certain will put forth a serious effort because losing would be a shame after the way this bracket broke, aside from a tough battle with oats, for him.

Split: I see Certain sweeping it.

Vividlyvague: I see a hefty challenge to overcome for YDK and a possible sleeper upset for Certain. Certain was elite tier last round, but if you forecast this match based on season performance, they're more closely matched than it may seem. Certain is not as consistent with the Wow factor, so providing YDK comes out ambitious and neat, this can be a better match than how it appears on paper.

Vulgar: Certain works out at the home gym everyday. YDK has 9 kids. Certain wins via squatpunch KO.

Zen: I picked Certain to win it all in week 1 and I'm gonna stick to that because I'm a damn genius.


With Certain standing as the presumptive favorite, what does he need to avoid doing in order to dodge the upset?

Adonis: Over thinking. Certain has a knack for writing easy to read stories that aren't all that deep. It's helped him get this far, so going out on a limb now would be him going for a gnarly concept piece with so much depth I destroy him for being the lady he his in my vote.

dead man:the obvious answer is to avoid underestimation and procrastination. the less obvious one is to adjust his writing process in a minor way. absorb a new film or album, learn something. apply fresh knowledge to his interpretation on w/e the topic is.

El Pancake: Care. Seeing as how this is the Finals I don't think that'll be a problem. He's had some moments where he seemed a bit less than motivated. His showing in the Semis, though, indicates he's firing on all cylinders. Get it? Firing on all cylinders. Classic.

Split: He needs to avoid no-showing.

Vividlyvague: He needs to use his strong suits to his utmost advantage. Some of his strengths are command of language and vocabulary, the same spots YDK may slip on. They both have rhyming down, so Certain needs to capitalize on his trademarks to sweep like last round. Voters are gonna wanna NOT fall asleep mid - read. It's the big match for goodness sake!

Vulgar: The right uppercut of YDK.

Zen: Certain doesn't need to do what he's done in every champ match until this point which is write uninspired. It's felt like he didn't even want to win in those matches. The reason I picked him to win though is because I figured that irritated him enough to go balls deep in the playoffs. (Btw it's really weird saying "he" when you pm'd me this)


What advice would you give YDK on how to beat Certain and win this title?

Adonis: Well, I think I gave him good advice last week. I don't know what style for him here because I haven't read his verses. But last week he opened my eyes by being fantastical and creating a nice backdrop. His rhymes at times can be off putting and too condensed which means poorly worded sentences. But time is on your side brother, you got here and can win if you use the time constructing some fire. Then again you are pretty stupid so your better off no showing and putting yourself out of your misery now.

dead man: honestly my advice would be to continue what he has been doing, to the nth power. accelerate his current method. clearly it's working for him thus far and has dragged him far from his mid-tier pretensions.

El Pancake: "Work hard at creating a unique angle towards the topic. I don't think you'll be able to beat Certain at writing, so you have to outsmart him in approach. Which isn't easy given that is one of his strengths. Go left field with it. In terms of the aforementioned writing, if this wasn't the Finals I'd tell you to experiment with a new style. But you don't have the luxury of working out the kinks, with this being the last match. So refine your usual wording and rhyming. Be a bit more complex. Write how you normally do and doing some revising. Put forth your best effort and hope it's super dope, my nigga." -Motivational Pancake

Split: Get good, fast.

Vividlyvague: I'll give similar advice. He needs to use his strength of rhyme and incorporate better ideas to draw interest while keeping it neat and flashy enough to snag voters. This is the big show. The place no one really pictured him going. He needs to showcase all of what he has together in a cohesive work and use all the time he has to sharpen it and plug the holes. One competitor will over - calculate or come in over par. The difference in the execution will be in the attention to detail. Or this could be the colossal slugfest the spectators were hoping to happen for the league favorites. One way to find out.

Vulgar: Don't be scurred.

Zen: Find out where Certain lives and break his hands so he can't type up his verse. Or break his computer, phone, or tablet. But that's too much work so break his hands.



PREDICTION by Certain
I've done them every other week. Why stop now?





9. Certain vs. 14. YDK | Cemetery Dandelion
BATTLE OF THE WEEK CANDIDATE! Well, here we are. This is surprising. But let's add that both Certain and YDK beat very good opponents on the way to this spot in the season championship match. Certain had to knock off oats and King Ra., while YDK beat Adonis and timeless. (Last year's finalists, El Pancake and Frank, actually no-showed these two in the first round.) Enough justification. Now what? Well, Certain comes in as the big favorite here, having overcome a more difficult road and showing that he's finally investing the required time and energy into this league during the playoffs. YDK probably needs to come with the best verse he's dropped on these sites, and even then he may need a slip up from Certain. But that's the silver lining for YDK: Certain has a tendency to polarize readers at times with more boring verses. Obviously, he'll need to keep his content compelling because outwriting shouldn't be an issue. YDK, then, needs to be even more compelling. Basically he can win this if he has an awesome approach, showing creativity that we don't typically associated with him. This battle is slanted, but it's not an unfathomable upset. Prediction: Certain 62-38.



No Easy Way Out
THE INTERVIEW II by Certain, with Witty
The keeper of The Fox has taken some time out of his busy Irish lifestyle to offer some words of wisdom for all of us.





Hi, Witty. It's been a long time, but I wanted to check in with you and see how the fox is doing. So what's up?

Not much man, or a lot, depending on what day of the week it is, thanks for having me. The Fox is good, he's been keeping a low profile lately but he's still looking over us, and when the time is right The Fox will once again assume his role as Netcees resident deity.


OK, let's start with the obvious first question: How much have you drank in the last week?

Too much, or not enough, depending on what day of the week it is....not a lot actually, tbh, There's been a lot of shit happening recently and I haven't had many opportunities to get on it hard like I used to but I'll go drink for drink with any man til the day I die, coincidentally I have been drinking tonight tho...home alone watching some 90's movies, sipping Jameson and smoking weed. Sometimes the best things are done alone.


When was the last time you wrote, and I don't mean sat and free-wrote some crap but actually put real thought into something?

Shit, that's hard for me to say because I write all of my shit fast, if I don't get it out it just disappears, it's fucked up because I have an awesome memory for everything other than my own writing. I was thinking about this a few weeks ago or something and I realized I dunno if I've really sat and made myself think into my shit thoroughly and really nit pick at the shit for like 3 years, there was a time when I would throw entire verses away because there was one line I couldn't get right and I couldn't post it because it would annoy me too much, and that was when most people would probably say I was posting my best stuff, I think right now I'm changing as a person so it's hard for me to put pen to page and know what I want to write, my perspective on a lot of shit is changing and it feels like I need to find the direction I want to go in with life before I find the direction I want to go in with writing again, so I'm focusing on that shit but I still throw up some stuff from time to time.


What drew you to this world, particularly topical battling?

Rap, I got in to rap music when I was around 11, it was Eminem, 50 cent, G Unit, all those dudes were on top when I started listening and they brought with them the battling vibe, Em because he came from there and 50 and co. because they were always dissing somebody lol so I got into that aspect of it and I searched for rapbattles on google which took me to RB, I joined up, read some shit, decided I was more suited to topical writing than actual battling so I started doing it. I still beast in battles tho, but that came later. I've always been a writer tho since I was no age, one of my few memories of childhood is when I was about 7 and I was in school, I never gave a fuck about school at any age but I always loved English class, our teacher told us to write a short story about our hometown, anything we wanted as long as it was set in that town, and it was right on the beach so other kids wrote like half a page about some bullshit, I took that shit home and worked on it for hours, I wrote about a Viking invasion on my hometown and shit, it was epic....probably the first and last time I ever did homework lol ever since then, and even before then, I've been writing....that's what I got in the talent raffle, that's the straw I drew so I plan to use it, I just dunno in what way I want to use it yet.


Who is the most interesting (not necessarily best) writer on this site? Why?

That's difficult because there's a lot of different things that can make me enjoy a piece, I love deadman's shit because it's just art, the dude just knows how to write, it's natural as shit and it's dope as fuck, he's the kinda guy that you don't have to understand or relate to what we do here to enjoy what he writes, there's a few others like that too but Black for me is an artist and it's crazy when he really gets going. Big baby crazy too, and I mean that in every way possible, dude be saying shit that I would never even think about thinking about, he actually might be the most entertaining because you never know what's coming next, he might be exploding a dudes head with a bazooka in one line and proposing to mustachia in the next, it's weird tho cuz I feel like he doesn't try so I have probably have never seen the best he has to offer, that goes for dull boy too who also is someone I'm a huge fan of, Dull Boy cuts deep (no self harm emo pun <3), he explores his mind then puts it in rhymes, not many people are as cerebral as Dull Boy, dude is crazy smart, but again I feel like these dudes don't try, like they know whatever they post is gonna get the same response 'that's flames son' which is not unfair because it is flames, but I feel like they might not care as much or have the same desire to impress like they used to. In terms of pieces that can drag me in and make me connect with the piece and actually care about it and how it will end, I think you are very good at that, I think Pancake is also very good and I think Split is dope too, I don't think he gets the credit he deserves. Oh and Oats! Whose new shit is dope as fuck imo check it out fags. Essay over lol.


Where do you see yourself in four hours?

Asleep, hopefully.


How many times a day do you rap like four lines in your head sporadically? I do that all the time.

I am free styling in my head all the time, just thinking of rhymes...any time I'm not in a conversation or not focusing on work, I'm rhyming in my head...it doesn't stay long but it's just a habit that I don't think will ever leave tbh.


Do you prefer bangers or mash?

Gotta rep my country and say mash bro, fuck u think I would say?????


Is Finnegan's Wake a required high school book in Ireland?

I have no idea, I was very rarely there...the only year I had attendance over 60% was the last year, when I was 16, cuz I was dating the hottest girl in the school lol and she was a prefect which means she was ALWAYS at school so I started to go to school a lot more.


Do you know how to step-dance?

Yes.


When was the last time you got punched in the face?

About a month ago, I got in a fight while waiting for a bus, it wasn't even my fight, me and a friend were going to this rock festival shit, he's into that shit, I'm not tbh but I thought fuck it, so we're waiting for a bus with a shitttttt load of alcohol, we get turned away from the bus cuz it's full, my friend walks to a nearby taxi to see if it can take us, and while he was over there he was approached by his ex girlfriend's new guy, who he bust open badly, but then his ex's dad jumped in so I ran over and pulled him off my friend, trying to calm shit down, he punched and he was about my size so I started punching, then we get dragged off each other by other dudes and it was over...didn't last longer than 2 minutes.


What do you expect in YDK-Certain?

It'll be dope, YDK is no slouch and should not be underestimated, Certain is a vet and WILL NOT be underestimated. If both come correct, it will be a dope battle and an awesome way to end the season, if you make it to the final, you deserve it, so props to both on making it this far, only one can win...I made my predictions a while ago so I'll leave it at that, but it's gonna be a close run thing.


Which three people would you most like to be trapped on an island with?

On Netcees?

Oats - He Hawaiian, he knows everything about islands

Pancake - Crazy lulz

And for the third I'd draw chyeahhh's face on to a volleyball.


Do you have any further thoughts to add?

Eggs are disgusting if you think about them too long.


Thanks for your time!



CONCLUSION by Certain


I want to thank everyone who participated in this entire season of the Art of Writing League. I am happy it's almost over, but I also look back and say we had a hell of a season. The playoffs have shaped up better than advertised, and the regular season was monstrous. Now it's on YDK and me to make the final worthy of that praise. Thanks, too, to YDK, Witty, Adonis, dead man, El Pancake, Split, Vividlyvague, Vulgar and Zen for helping with this edition of the magazine. And thanks to oats, King Ra., big baby and others for help in past magazines.

Show up to your Alias Topical Tournament battles. And do good.


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Old 07-25-2014, 11:50 PM   #2
Certain
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@YDK, it's here.
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Old 07-26-2014, 12:31 AM   #3
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Dope shit man, I feel like this whole magazine was tips on how yo beat you made by you lmao I love it!
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Old 07-26-2014, 01:49 AM   #4
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So sad that my own cousin didn't mention me one time. Smh.

Good mag though. Make this match a good one fellas.
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Old 07-26-2014, 02:28 AM   #5
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Thanks for the work you put in. Champ this shit.
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Old 07-26-2014, 08:36 AM   #6
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good shit, was just about to send roundtable stuff and then I saw this. I'll be back to vote on the champ match
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Old 07-26-2014, 08:37 AM   #7
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The round table was my favorite and witty is cwazy. This was great. Zenland you are insane lol. This was awesome, and throughout the season the magazines only got better. Good luck babies.
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Old 07-26-2014, 09:12 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zen View Post
So sad that my own cousin didn't mention me one time. Smh.

Good mag though. Make this match a good one fellas.
I actually felt bad about this afterwards tbreal, I wanted to shout you out for how much better you get with every piece you write, my bad Zen.

Awesome mag as always, looking forward to this battle.
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Old 07-26-2014, 09:20 AM   #9
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And yo shout out to Certain for holding the league down and being the most consistent mod I've probably ever seen.

Props buddy.
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Old 07-26-2014, 01:22 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Witty View Post
I actually felt bad about this afterwards tbreal, I wanted to shout you out for how much better you get with every piece you write, my bad Zen.

Awesome mag as always, looking forward to this battle.
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Old 07-26-2014, 01:48 PM   #11
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Old 07-27-2014, 09:20 AM   #12
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I have given up drinking alcohol starting today.
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Old 07-27-2014, 09:44 AM   #13
big baby
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I like!!!
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If mentioned in a discussion its who'd still use wordy lines and act all dope
Then again hes had this schtick so long he like bb da bb da bb thats all folks
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Old 07-27-2014, 09:33 PM   #14
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@Zen @Witty are you actually related?

Dope magazine. Loved the interviews. @Vulgar put up a helluva fight to be the least wordy in the round table
@Certain @YDK good luck
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Old 07-27-2014, 10:11 PM   #15
YDK
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Thanks @Split i'll need it more than certain lol jk YOU'RE GOING DOWN CERTAIN!
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Old 07-27-2014, 10:14 PM   #16
e11even
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Dope mag. Fight Well. See you guys at voting time.
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