01-15-2018, 04:52 PM | #1 |
yeet
Join Date: Mar 1993
Posts: 3,956
Battle Record: 20-34
Champed - 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 17624432 |
Am I the only one
who read dehf's breakdown as an actual verse? For like 4 lines I think I'm reading shit bars and then I realize he's just in his feelings.
@dehf don't give up, I'm not very good either |
01-15-2018, 05:22 PM | #2 |
Badgerdick
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Showdown City
Posts: 2,604
Battle Record: 11-2
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 22685548 |
there was a breakdown and you didn't provide a link?
what did I miss |
01-15-2018, 05:51 PM | #3 |
yeet
Join Date: Mar 1993
Posts: 3,956
Battle Record: 20-34
Champed - 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 17624432 |
|
01-15-2018, 06:05 PM | #4 |
Badgerdick
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Showdown City
Posts: 2,604
Battle Record: 11-2
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 22685548 |
LOOOOOL I mean sure, dude had a point and I can see that
Text is largely pretty conformist with a pre-established idea of how the bars should be formed and generally how the verse should look. I fully get that. It's not just a site wide thing though, every forum will have their own idea on what decides who wins. RapRoyalty have category based voting. NC largely prefer shortbar. OTBVA put more emphasis on multies and scheming. LB is longbar etc. They're all different. I don't see why people wouldn't try to adapt rather than just admit defeat and bow out over a loss, though? I mean this is a HOBBY for most of us. It's meant to be fun. The second it stops being fun, you're free to log out rather than let it frustrate you further to the point of quitting and looking like a complete faggot lol. Plenty of people have changed their style and adapted. Plenty of people use a non-conforming style and make it work for them. Dull boy springs to mind with his paragraph formatting, Neighbour springs to mind with his longer line lengths and more Horrorcore type verses. Eng uses a kind of broken down bar type style similar to Trap's. They're all different and all work for their repesctive owners. No one is hating. Calling them haters is pointless just because they don't feel it. Either adapt slightly to what's liked or remain the stagnant nobody you are catching losses every week and refusing to listen to the people giving you their criticism. It isn't hard. What is so difficult to understand about that for these people like Classick and Dehf? |
01-15-2018, 06:52 PM | #5 |
yeet
Join Date: Mar 1993
Posts: 3,956
Battle Record: 20-34
Champed - 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 17624432 |
Well said, Lars.
I have realized these 1st 2 battles in NBL that my style is too "topical." I was worried about multis and shit in my first battle when on NC it needs to be more direct. Its just a matter of having the time to focus on things like that. Esp. this week @Swerve. Not to mention anything you post is ammo, including this lol. People hate me here I guess but this is by far my favorite site to post on, so I just had to strike that balance between the amount I give a shit about. Which is about 0 at this point, I just like writing and battling is my favorite way of doing that. Young cats care too much, i know i did. Life has a crazy way of making you realize that no one cares if you are here or not. Except Zelph he seems like he really wants everyone to be involved. But yeah I trust the voters here. Ppl know what they are reading and when it is shit. |
01-15-2018, 10:01 PM | #8 |
SDub
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,877
Battle Record: 40-34
Champed - Alias Tourney III (Heroes vs. Villians)
- Fight Night LXIV
- Netcees Battle League
Rep Power: 64920324 |
Sure.
__________________
No Cap Gang.
|
01-15-2018, 11:46 PM | #9 | |
βгοкε ㄴεςηαг
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 2,245
Battle Record: 9-4
Champed - 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 12760960 |
Quote:
|
|
01-16-2018, 05:49 AM | #10 | |
Badgerdick
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Showdown City
Posts: 2,604
Battle Record: 11-2
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 22685548 |
Quote:
|
|
01-16-2018, 05:55 AM | #11 | |
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 845
Battle Record: 1-0
Rep Power: 6428572 |
Quote:
Last edited by Clout; 01-16-2018 at 05:58 AM. |
|
01-16-2018, 05:58 AM | #12 | |
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 845
Battle Record: 1-0
Rep Power: 6428572 |
Quote:
|
|
01-16-2018, 11:56 AM | #13 | |||||
Badgerdick
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Showdown City
Posts: 2,604
Battle Record: 11-2
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 22685548 |
@bleak
I just figured I'd show you how my own journey went with topicals so you can see the difference as I (thought I) got better. I can't even tell you how young I was when I first started, prob 13/14, I've been at this a long time: Quote:
I would always switch up the rhyme but then I noticed a piece by a guy called Rikoshay where he carried the same multi over throughout the entire verse and I recalled an early verse by a dude called Sordswinga that did that too and thought YO, THAT'S MAD HARD! I wonder if I can do that? So I took some time away, worked hard at it, and kind of switched my style a little to try and use the same multi string all the way through my verse, but still have that kind of broken-down-bar style I had become a fan of using. I started centering my verses at this point just because it "looked" better aesthetically when posted on boards (or so I thought) but I enjoyed having both the technical skill to pull off the same multi throughout a verse AND the fact I was still using the broken down bar style, because I didn't see anyone else doing both, so I considered "my" style to be almost like a hybrid of the two (maybe) and didn't see many, if any, using that kind of format. Here's some links to examples so you can get a feel for it and see what I mean: Quote:
Quote:
The shorter lines are still there, I've just ramped up the mechanics of multis to such a level I always wrote verses with the same scheme right throughout. The verse about the Elephant Man and the one about my fathers heart attack/Snowman got lots of positive feedback so I persisted with it. It's cool maybe once, but I would do this every verse LOL to the point people would criticise it, and rightly, because it gets kind of predictable how the rhymes going to end once you've wrote 20-30 lines to the same sound. On one hand, I thought it was technically brilliant, but I took their words on board over time and took a less is more approach. I tried to switch up the multi more, toy with internals more, but still keep that degree of difficulty I'd now set myself in every verse. If you un-center them, though, you'll see it's not a great radical change from the original broken-down-bar style format I used. It was just formatted differently. The main difference being the multies beating the reader over the head right throughout. So gradually I moved to more stuff like this, still multi packed, but a lot less predictable for the reader as I keep switching it up and it allowed me more freedom as a writer, it gives you a new sense of freedom again after keeping verses so rigid and inflexible. I was a fan of the style, it adapted well, it kept the technical difficulty I wanted to it and seemed like a logical progression (to me) based on my earlier efforts. Eventually the next criticism to come up was that with more multies and scheming, it often meant my lines were a little longer and the pieces didn't "flow" so well (probably due to having more syllables per line etc) so I looked at trying to shorten the line lengths and syllable count down while still keeping the multies and scheming at a level I was accustomed to. I also wanted to be able to keep switching the rhyme up, so it didn't get predictable like I had early on. This verse was maybe an early attempt at perfecting the "style" I used now on some rhyme-the-whole-line kinda shit. It's just broken-down, rather than formatted how people general tend to read topicals: Quote:
You can see how short the lines look, even though really they're probably just the one line broken up over two. I tried to emphasize the actual RHYMES here so people would catch I was rhyming the entire line pretty much, not just the end rhymes. It worked to a certain degree, for sure, but generally I should have kept the line lengths to a more standard length. This was essentially just me trying out yet another style change and seeing what worked and what didn't. It took a short while to perfect a way, but I arrived at the style I have now which is almost like a happy medium for me where it flows well, it's tightly adhered to a rhyme scheme, the multies keep switching up even though they're stacked, and I can write them relatively quickly because the style isn't that far removed from what I've been doing for literally years. It's just an evolution of it, and uncentered because as I grew up I realised how dumb it was LOL until I arrived at this point: Quote:
I toyed with the paragraph format for a while, I would basically just freewrite with no topic in mind, literally just scheming and writing for fun really to see what I could come up with off the top. I dropped a few verses this way here, all pretty much keystyles that didn't take up a great deal of time. I enjoy doing that. I've always been able to write fairly quickly and I sometimes find it more fun than having to write just to a pre-determined topic. I usually do this during down time from competing in leagues and tourneys just to keep my pen sharp really. They were never meant to be anything special, though I'm proud of a few of them and I enjoy reading them back because I can see how much I've improved (in my opinion). Last edited by Diablo; 01-16-2018 at 12:13 PM. |
|||||
01-16-2018, 01:28 PM | #14 |
yeet
Join Date: Mar 1993
Posts: 3,956
Battle Record: 20-34
Champed - 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 17624432 |
I can't rep you enough
Edit: apparently I can |
01-16-2018, 02:23 PM | #15 |
Badgerdick
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Showdown City
Posts: 2,604
Battle Record: 11-2
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 22685548 |
I don't even know how helpful that will be to you, I just wanted to show you that this didn't come easy to me, Ive been doing this since like 12 years old and I've had to adapt and change over time to stay relevant too. You'll find similar with ill nik-A and a lot of the older dudes that are still doing this. You have to learn to adapt to what works or lose to those who will. People aren't voting to hate, they're calling it like they see it and everyone thinks their own shit is dope. That's the game. The wins and losses become irrelevant if you just have fun with what you're doing and write what you personally find dope. Some people here don't like my work, others have me in their top tens all time LOL it just shows you you'll never please everyone, so just enjoy what you're writing and let everyone else form the opinions they have.
|
01-16-2018, 02:24 PM | #16 |
Badgerdick
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Showdown City
Posts: 2,604
Battle Record: 11-2
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 22685548 |
tl;dr dehf is a bitch for quitting and throwing a hissy fit
|
01-16-2018, 04:53 PM | #17 | |
yeet
Join Date: Mar 1993
Posts: 3,956
Battle Record: 20-34
Champed - 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 17624432 |
Quote:
I have noticed that presentation in battle verses is much less important, outside of bar length obv. My last verse would have read better probably if I had omitted the paragraph/subtitle shit (and 2 of the bars) but most of that shit comes from not having enough free time to critique it beforehand. I was trying to work in the Battlefield 2 angle but it was weak anyways. I wrote it first and found it hard to omit it. |
|
01-16-2018, 05:12 PM | #18 |
Shrewd as evearthed
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Wolverhampton, England
Posts: 8,230
Battle Record: 28-3
Champed - Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II
Rep Power: 85899391 |
Cut out all the extra unnecessary shit, you don't need anything in brackets like you had eight he shark bite reference thing mid verse. Punch more, insult your opponent, try to make it personal to them rather than just random generic punchlines that could apply to anyone. Occasionally those are cool or you'll know nothing about the opponent but generally they will have been around the board a bit and have a kind of preconceived image or personality you can exploit. Wordplay seems to work here if done well and can work both ways. Nameplays using only the initial of the username seem to be frowned upon. Currents evens can always seem a cool idea but always bear in mind EVERYONE in the league prob thinking of one too so sometimes it's not with it. The more you read, the better understanding you'll get. When you read a line that's dope to you, analyse it, think about what made it work so well. What is it that made it pop? How was the punch formed, was it the wordplay that made it crazy? Was it a similie? Did they use hyperbole? Text battling is VERY formulaic to me after a while that's why I only like to take part in short bursts really. There's only so many verses I can read with setup/punch and a little variation to how the punch is formed before I get quite bored with it. Maybe that's just me though. But yeah, that's what I'd do, rather than just think it's dope - breakdown why it stood out and what the guy did to make it standout like that, then once you understand the formula behind it, try creating something with the same method behind it and see if you can get it to pop. Rinse and repeat as you learn and improve.
__________________
- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season) |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|