11-10-2017, 06:10 PM | #1 |
obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,716
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Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
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my mother
hi. I’m okay. my name is .. (private exchange)
oceanic delight. mariana trench – lets lie on the waves get lied to with promises as you wave your goodbyes the we’ll soon see each others. the i cant wait to arrives gesticulating giant, wide-eyed naivety shine Juan Valdez roast – a vagabonds variant vibe cash valet parking -pristine ’85 BMW e28. cabernet offswitch. tannins drip from IV cause i don’t bleed dna deviate from the norm. heliocentric. her face is a star she makes the sun turn violet, and gives rainbows their scars technicolor stitches, wounds become radiant art do re mi, one way street to living, who’s to say that we are in edens garden, dancing naked to purple rain my dorsal fin can’t navigate the deepest waters irregardless, blood print barely cracks the surface stain takeaway is mundane themes, underneath the nervous strain it's okay to be silent. it’s okay to want a place to scream the days are hard fought battles, wars wade on for weeks, and hurricanes are taking shape in the subway steam every sunday, he tithes revived percentages of hope so a little bit inside me dies from the carcinogenic dose A.M. country station blazing through the cigarette tray grandpas epitaphs engraved in in-direct faith 12 volt Citroën culture, french press grit in my veins vaudevillian silhouette, it’s like you barely saw her stained-glass windowpane, leather love-seat Frankenmuth Bavarian auberge accompanied by airport sound wave dispersement dial pound eight, to reach the operator rotary nuisance call me a mutant, because we hate feeling lonely as humans let’s all huddle around the baggage carousel until we depart what bothers me is the converging of a million souls living apart common courtesy talks, airplanes are altitude civilian parks we’ve been displaced by a culture aimed to minimize faith and dilute consumer bases, zombified mimicking ape my father used to say – take walks when it’s pouring down rain why? so you can revisit the bridges burned in your wake never had a father, it was just something I said to myself did I divulge too much? my mother always said keep to yourself cause’ the hearts on your sleeve are a poker players favorite tell manifest themselves as sheep who hastily offer you wool did the vague release of my cry remind you of wolf? hell in a handbasket, riding hood tells us we fear who we are too many questions, not any answers. period, pause
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precision defender Last edited by big baby; 11-10-2017 at 06:14 PM. |
11-10-2017, 08:15 PM | #2 |
White Earl
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fucking flames. brilliant
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-A.bove T.he R.est |
11-11-2017, 02:09 PM | #3 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
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my father used to say – take walks when it’s pouring down rain
why? so you can revisit the bridges burned in your wake never had a father, it was just something I said to myself dope |
11-14-2017, 05:41 PM | #4 |
Badgerdick
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wow
best OM drop for a hot minute bro epitaphs engraved in indirect faith was a crazy line for sure the baggage claim/million souls drifting apart couplet was flames too great to see you back Keep that pen moving! |
11-16-2017, 10:20 PM | #5 |
rhyme capsule.
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,146
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the first 8 or 9 lines (a speck of the overall verse) stymied a few attempts in reading this. even having done so a handful of times, they don't quite come together for me - but it matters naught.
everything else was stellar. let’s all huddle around the baggage carousel until we depart what bothers me is the converging of a million souls living apart that's something i'd say, but i wouldn't quite as adroitly. thanks for the read. |
11-17-2017, 12:44 AM | #6 | ||||||
living
Join Date: Jan 2013
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i like how you break from your internal dialogue for half a beat, then pick right back up. it creates a sort of chaos that prevents us from tiring. keeps us on our toes. following that thread, what a fantastic word choice here as well in heliocentric - you're slowly circling your focal subject. you jump, as one defies gravity for a split second, then we fall right back into order. Quote:
not to be self indulgent but i had a line a few years back about a subway grate and a woman's skirt that all flooded back to me when i read this. in this instant i smelled the State/Chicago redline stop. that's just my world. only you know yours, obviously, but what's so beautiful and alluring about this is the inclusivity that occurs when you are able to bridge them with a simple idea like the swirling image of subway steam. Quote:
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anyway, i thought it was tremendous. i may come back and leave more thoughts as i re-read. but i always say that. thanks 1
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Zack Wicks for president |
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11-22-2017, 08:19 PM | #7 |
SOBER
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You and deadman make this section of the site worthwhile, still. Excellent stuff here.
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If I ventured in the slipstream Between the viaducts of your dreams Where immobil steel rims crack And the ditch in the back road stop Could you find me? |
11-24-2017, 03:50 PM | #8 |
rhyme capsule.
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,146
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