The land before time

WZA · 01-13-2014, 07:19 PM

Just a little something I started today.. Not to sure where i'm going with it exactly. Anyways here it is.

The land before time

This story is about the days of my youth,
From which mordern famous fables grew,
When beast walked land.. In form of a Sabertooth,
Away the space ship flew,
Awaken was histories most famous brute,
Exiled. Enslaved in a waste land was Mason's doom,
My legacy graces faces of caves in ancient ruins,

If you can believe.. Before Christ or glorious knights,
Stood me.. Rock in hand forging a mic,
Times forgotten man, the stories wiped,
Lost in sand was this warriors life,

What they mustered up, than called it war,
I was covered up when the cult was formed and all had sworn,
A one man army facing the dullest swords,

Just Write · 01-14-2014, 11:16 AM

For what it was this was coo. Kinda like little random jots. I do the same thing all the tume. I probably have a hundred unfinished pieces lol. There were some parts where it seemed like you rhymed just to rhyme i.e. the sabertooth/ away a spaceship flew but i did see in another post you say you were shakin the cobwebs so i feel it. Middle portion was my fav. Post a more complete piece and ill peep. Stay up

dead man · 01-14-2014, 01:00 PM

Sabertooth/spaceship flew was my favorite part of this. Very cool. May come back and drop more thoughts but yeah you should continue this.

Mike Wrecka · 01-15-2014, 05:34 PM

really enjoyed this. the flow was awesome. content wise it was dope. finish it man. this would be a really good completed piece.

Exis · 01-15-2014, 11:45 PM

^^Nice avy lol.

Pretty cool verse you have so far, obviously dropped this to get some feed on the direction it's goin' in or what not...which a lot of others should take note of before postin' up 50 lines of poo...let me know when shits finished and I'll peep the rest fam.

Stay up with it.

01-13-2014, 07:19 PM	#1
WZA Member Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Vancouver, Canada Posts: 47 Battle Record: 0-4 Rep Power: 0	The land before time Just a little something I started today.. Not to sure where i'm going with it exactly. Anyways here it is. The land before time This story is about the days of my youth, From which mordern famous fables grew, When beast walked land.. In form of a Sabertooth, Away the space ship flew, Awaken was histories most famous brute, Exiled. Enslaved in a waste land was Mason's doom, My legacy graces faces of caves in ancient ruins, If you can believe.. Before Christ or glorious knights, Stood me.. Rock in hand forging a mic, Times forgotten man, the stories wiped, Lost in sand was this warriors life, What they mustered up, than called it war, I was covered up when the cult was formed and all had sworn, A one man army facing the dullest swords,

01-14-2014, 11:16 AM	#2
Just Write Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,709 Battle Record: 9-12 Rep Power: 4997613	For what it was this was coo. Kinda like little random jots. I do the same thing all the tume. I probably have a hundred unfinished pieces lol. There were some parts where it seemed like you rhymed just to rhyme i.e. the sabertooth/ away a spaceship flew but i did see in another post you say you were shakin the cobwebs so i feel it. Middle portion was my fav. Post a more complete piece and ill peep. Stay up __________________

01-14-2014, 01:00 PM	#3
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,465 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606676	Sabertooth/spaceship flew was my favorite part of this. Very cool. May come back and drop more thoughts but yeah you should continue this. __________________ Zack Wicks for president

01-15-2014, 05:34 PM	#4
Mike Wrecka WOW Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,523 Battle Record: 29-25 Champed - Writing Challenge League I Rep Power: 82779335	really enjoyed this. the flow was awesome. content wise it was dope. finish it man. this would be a really good completed piece. __________________ A.bove T.he R.est

01-15-2014, 11:45 PM	#5
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,938 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	^^Nice avy lol. Pretty cool verse you have so far, obviously dropped this to get some feed on the direction it's goin' in or what not...which a lot of others should take note of before postin' up 50 lines of poo...let me know when shits finished and I'll peep the rest fam. Stay up with it.