01-22-2013, 12:29 AM | #1 |
Om
Join Date: Jan 2013
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armed robbery
Brain scattered as a haitian house of cards, trajectory
out of entropy's shooting him to the target... ...Hands burn from firearm that he's armed with, down the street he's scheming a robbery on the market... Losing grip, but never when it comes to Wesson he's flexin Sweating bullets, releasing tension in head and in weapon Rushes counter like adrenaline when ending impends Facing the witnesses, as they, face an imminent end Tells em toss it in the burlap or look last in dirt nap the workers moving skirmish frantic searching for a firm stack Takes it then he spurts, fast, out of the premises Hides the evidence through fire. Puts to ashes his "work" mask. he learned fast, after many years and identities the fire of his motive will blind him to all the penalties. Binds him to idle specialties; aquire money stealthily. Doesn't bite morality, fuck it, he has a mouth to feed His own devoured seed. A man, driven to shambles tryna link his son to freedom through societies shackles There's a hunger in his kid, so he's willing to mad steal, and act real, past the starving vision he can't fill... To reach his sky of dreams, he's gotta tell em put em up Inspirirations in his child's eyes; he doesn't look enough. Makes a crooked run, tryna put his on a straight path So weigh the situation, who's the criminal this case...Class? |
01-22-2013, 01:16 AM | #2 |
Senior Member
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he learned fast, after many years and identities
the fire of his motive will blind him to all the penalties. Binds him to idle specialties; aquire money stealthily. Doesn't bite morality, fuck it, he has a mouth to feed His own devoured seed. A man, driven to shambles tryna link his son to freedom through societies shackles There's a hunger in his kid, so he's willing to mad steal, and act real, past the starving vision he can't fill... To reach his sky of dreams, he's gotta tell em put em up Inspirirations in his child's eyes; he doesn't look enough. Makes a crooked run, tryna put his on a straight path So weigh the situation, who's the criminal this case...Class? damn that whole section captivated me for some reason. you have a way of creating an image with the story so i enjoyed that. guess this wasnt about the main guy after all. interesting point of view too. nice read |
01-22-2013, 05:15 AM | #3 |
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this was very interesting due to the fact, it just seemed like an ordinary piece until the end when the question is posed to the "class"....which made this extra dope. Its a bit different from the usual, rhyme/flow heavy verses associated with OM. Good Shit.
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01-22-2013, 07:12 PM | #4 |
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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Makes a crooked run, tryna put his on a straight path
So weigh the situation, who's the criminal this case...Class? thought that bar was cool. pretty okay story. scheming was all kinds of weird, like especially the one word comma breaks. keep up
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