DON'T LAUGH! THIS AIN'T REALITY TV!!!

[Mr. J]

I often step to competition with the sword I'm wielding
it was my decision to leave 'em laying like potato peelings
erase those feelings and then drop into the fryer
turn innocence into buyers, my innocence hanging by the wire..
your a liar which now means my hands are on fire
a burning desire to continue with the life I've acquired
or the freedom of minors..word to children & plea bargains
gotta roll low & start working out of the flea markets..
never leave paw prints when standin' over a deceased carcass
I used to see targets, now I see freedom in a new world
while you tryna shine off of money from used pearls..
I could plow two girls, teach em and show em a few murals
speaking body language when I start to finger paint
look at that limber grace, an angels face on a sinners cake
a side of baked asparagus with my steak dinner plate.
I snap out of a coma, mouth watering over the aroma
sipping tea made from the rivers in the Kingdom of Doma
double breasted holster, with the range of a King Cobra
it's over..I bask in the sun, where the basilisks run..
look at me..I'm not from where the amateurs are from
the immaculate one, no stopping until the damage is done
the system is flawed. naturally meaning convictions are hard
so as I sit in this yard, laugh and listen to y'all..
secretly I know..the fingers will be pointed...and in that division...
you'll fall


It's all about the sacrifice, whose the last alive
will you win? are you the passive type?
will you survive? as the world goes passing by?
all over a misdemeanor...my hands are tied
all I planned tonight could leave me ostracized
the tension is building, building my thoughts with lies..

I crumble beneath pressure, standing beside the exit
listening to the verdict, then the sentence..
I can feel my stomach as it tenses, it's my entrance
standing behind an oath, an armed individual & judge
swear upon my soul, cause the truth is instrumental to us
sentiment of love, met with the most desolate of hugs
a well placed knife, as it rests right next to the lung
but I'd rather be free..it's a lesson take it as it comes

[Mr. J]

<3

[brokenhal0]

passionate verse came off personal strong emotional pull i got the vibe you could have gotten a little more wacky with the word play but i see this as a more serious outter self reflective piece

[Objective]

Dope opener, enjoyed the first half of the first verse but I kind of lost the flow and atmosphere a bit after the ''plow two girls''-bit. Don't know if it is because of the change of flow, slight change of topic that seemed a bit misplaced/not as high quality as the rest in the verse along with the ''murals'' thing that I can't get to connect with anything or a mix of both. Most probably the latter. (Correct me if you think I'm off with this, I might be reading it wrong.) The finger paint thing is cool enough and you picked it back up hard with the steak dinner plate thing, kingdom of aroma and king cobra bit. Enjoyed that shit and you follow it well to the end of that verse, dope shit but I personally felt the plow two girls -thing was filler or for the sake of flow while simultaneously switching it up a little but it did nothing to me.

Switch up of flow and connecting with the reader in the second verse, cool. The final verse where you wrap it all up is well executed imo. Cool piece Mr.J.

[Mr. J]

Yea I kind of had trouble working those lines in there
I could have left them out but it would have taken away from the 'freedom' I implied
Murals was supposed to blend into the finger paint section
I was going to take the Scarface approach after two girls and use world
but I feel that that usage of rhyme has done to death.
I was basically going for 'The Departed' based on the title
the 2 extra verses were to add closure instead of stopping at the end of the first verse
otherwise thanks for the feed and insight Obj. I'll peep your verse in a few

[Mr. J]

Another obligated bump