05-20-2015, 12:06 AM | #1 |
The Clown Prince
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Crash landed into Neo Cortex
The comparison, the embarrassment carried by ego
this tombstone, this casket, my prides buried in this deep hole I've seen hope, seen hate devour the most civil of minds laugh at the joke, but even mirrors expose the riddled disguise crisis in the middle of life, dance with the devil in affair we spiral into a black hole, swallowed by dimensional despair fight inevitable repair, devoid of all function, enjoy destruction on the fence about life. I guess you can call it buoyant consumption.. down in the valley where the gunshots echo where any hope of normalcy is a one stop threshold.. Life's a trip..the ride holds conditions and rules finish another pint, why would I listen to you? I got this under control, so I put the bitch into cruise driven by use of..depressants, stimulants & booze ready to enlighten whenever the prisms are blue paint the floor red, then let you crimson the roof christen the youth with a different depiction of truth wave good riddance to fools, allow admittance to few the circles for winners, a whole different dimension to you it's all about the experience, not about the fictional views hand in the fire, no pulling back..no U turns or detours crashed at the intersection, you crash, you burn.. should have listened before
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05-20-2015, 12:09 AM | #2 |
living
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should have been an ode to crash bandicoot
down in the valley where the gunshots echo dope image Life's a trip..the ride holds conditions and rules finish another pint, why would I listen to you? the circles for winners, a whole different dimension to you werd nice work dood.
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05-20-2015, 08:49 AM | #3 |
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this was so smooth dude, i enjoyed every step of the way. every word fell into place it seemed like, effortless. good shit
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05-20-2015, 11:04 PM | #4 |
The Clown Prince
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why thank you my fair lady, & enthused gentlemen
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05-22-2015, 02:20 PM | #5 |
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This flowed very well per usual, enjoyed the mirror line best as a standout, followed by black hole line, still a solid drop overall, ended well, came together nicely
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05-23-2015, 01:11 AM | #6 |
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A short succinct verse, and it seemed to have tidbits and allusions to life as a race. Rapidity as a key toward completion and docility as the enemy toward completion. The chase toward the grand finale, the finish line, was what the images suggested. Reading your most recent piece, this is an entirely different mode of depiction. This one carried more momentum, more ideals, as the other one carried more detours into abstraction, and metaphorical inclination. I liked this piece for it kept delving deeper into a journey that did not carry us anywhere into a far away land, rather it took us into a mode of being, in which your emotion, and all the commonalities between our lives came together for a short moment. The end ended in a baleful and menacing manner that instilled a premonition of doom almost. Not my favorite ending, but the piece stands as a enjoyable read nonetheless.
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05-25-2015, 06:35 PM | #7 |
The Clown Prince
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Good observation..it started as a different piece at first
considering the first half was morea setting of tone. The faulty relationship. the drinking issues. the crappy living the second half is more of a running away type scenario more of a self conscious reflection in the end of the beginning
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05-26-2015, 02:26 AM | #8 |
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No lie, this might be the best thing I've read from you. Very good stuff, as usual.
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05-26-2015, 06:32 AM | #9 |
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cool. Liked that conditions and rules line. Smooth & very to the point, Q
Might send you a verse or something man
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05-31-2015, 08:26 PM | #11 |
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Obligated bump
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06-01-2015, 02:04 AM | #12 |
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wave good riddance to fools, allow admittance to few
the circles for winners, a whole different dimension to you that was the standout for me here just worded smoothly enough to come off that bit better when read out loud I was reading the OM mag recently where Sharp I think mentioned about liking your more sporadic and freewheeling verses as opposed to the machanical overthought is, this here's a prime example IMHO pen game is sick given how quick I trust you would put something like this together vintage Mr. j ish lol Keep that pen moving! |
06-01-2015, 11:22 PM | #13 | |
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Quote:
This flow right here shows that you're not new to this, most people don't know how to correctly use multis but you killed it. This shit make me want to actually start reading more Open Mics in my free time. Good shit bro
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06-02-2015, 03:39 AM | #14 |
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the first part is very dope. not that the 2nd part isn't, but the 1st part really stood out to me. i like ego/deep hole, and not just because i've used that rhyme before. lol. But very smooth throughout, especially up top.
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