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Old 03-11-2014, 09:18 PM   #1
Abakus
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Default im on the beat!

check me on the beat i spit the deepest penmanship
while others got degrees i took a street apprenticeship
ill be the evangelion of this neon genesis
where the dealers empty clips at what they deem as threatening
its time to leave my premises because i need my medicine
ill probably reach for wannabe gs that constantly speak of peng and piff
reminiscent of a scene in an unscripted dreamscape
were we create the themes in a convincing screenplay
im drunk and i seem blazed my lungs gotta mean ache
my brains freaking out about how funky this weed tastes
and still i cant seem to grasp the good things in each day
such an extreme pain adjusting to these states
of mind that i suffer in weak frames its cliched
how everything is relative but nothing is premade
ive had enough im sick of stressing stuck in this heat wave
ill lather up a spinning record just for a clean break

Last edited by Abakus; 03-11-2014 at 09:23 PM.
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Old 03-11-2014, 09:29 PM   #2
Abakus
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fuck this for petes sake
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Old 03-14-2014, 12:33 AM   #3
Nigma
The COAT...
 
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yoooo if you're still around I was feeling your scheming. strict with the syllables, intelligent multi timing, very techincally sound. next step in elevation is using literary devices enhance your content, or else go deep in on a concept and say some real shit. for extra points do both and the people will love you. needs something extra here though in any case, and im sure you're capable of it. this drop probs not a good indication of your potential so hope to see some more from you @Abakus
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Old 03-14-2014, 01:18 AM   #4
Fig
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Clean. You realy were on beat. what's most impressive here really is the wording, being that it's clean and seemed sorta effortless. Listen to nigma. keep dropping.
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Old 03-16-2014, 02:55 PM   #5
Mitch
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Nice, Very clean. Sounds like a white Phife.
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Old 03-16-2014, 05:37 PM   #6
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This was dope.. enjoyed the dreamscape line. Keep postin
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Old 03-17-2014, 04:51 PM   #7
Eŋg
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good energy. some nice ideas. maybe a bit forced (peng and piff) but i liked the lack of of direction. cool schemes. it had a rhythm... maybe allow yourself to not rhyme lines in succession? and just rhyme a bit more freely. write more.
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