DEAR CREATOR. FOR YOU.

zygote · 10-01-2013, 02:35 PM

For you, this is my writing for you on your behalf,
And all these words just can’t arrive soon enough.
So know when I use all these I’s, me’s and my’s - what I really mean is you, you, you.
I want it to be known.
You were everything to me and I can’t feel anything anymore now that you are gone.
And I don’t know if want to feel anything anymore if I cannot feel you again.
And this is a big cliché. But this all like a dream, and I’m struggling to phrase everything.
And even if I could, just what then?
You made me feel overwhelmed.
Honestly, there’s no clever or special way to express this properly,
I remember every small moment we spent together, unhappily.
I tried to make it rhyme but every rhyme limits what I really want to write here,
So please just forgive me because writing this to you just feels so surreal.
There are other things that I needed to tell you but it is not important now.
And I do not remember them without you around to remind me now.
In what other way can I explain?
Without your presence here I am just like an empty design.
Like an insignificant template with no clear end goal,
When we were together we screamed at each other. And rage made me smash the wall.
For that I am sorry.
Because even when I called you a whore and swore at you I still loved you, really,
And I am sorry for the times when you wanted to talk but I only wanted to watch the telly.
It’s not that I did not care, I did care, I have cared about you more than anything else.
I just cannot function normally, I never meant to ever cause you any permanent distress.
It was never you, it was always me, it is wrong I can only see that after the fact.
Do you remember my face when you told me that you left? I was shocked.
I tried to leave myself then. But I was too much of a coward,
I wanted to but could not do it, I did not want to see you along the way.
It is strange how I forgot the name that you were called,
Now I only can remember – You, and that’s all my thoughts.

Zombie · 10-01-2013, 11:00 PM

Precious.

Inno · 10-02-2013, 12:49 AM

great piece zygote, I liked the how this progressed..cool wording thought you did an excellent job dressing up some of those clichés and shit..beginning was a bit choppy but dam that middle part was meaty..really felt the emotion in that..then you set a great mood for remorse and sense of loss..dope imagery ontop of all of that. this was cool made man had a reall cool vibe that dug. you set a great mood through out he entire piece it read smooth and the transition of character and his emotions carried along well...gotta say I enjoyed this a lot from the language to the flow to the story...great stuff man

Quote:

And this is a big cliché. But this all like a dream, and I’m struggling to phrase everything.

thought that was dope.

veritas · 10-02-2013, 09:39 AM

I tried to leave myself then. But I was too much of a coward,

why

Frank · 10-04-2013, 02:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zombie

Pussy.

BWHAHA · 10-04-2013, 02:23 AM

*licks entire face with his own tongue*

u mind telling mr bwhah where dis from??

smashing walls..oh how symbolic.. !!

hulk smash. heh?

can u rip out ur own heart?

10-01-2013, 02:35 PM	#1
zygote Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 502 Battle Record: 33-12 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Art of Writing League (3x) Rep Power: 737825	DEAR CREATOR. FOR YOU. For you, this is my writing for you on your behalf, And all these words just can’t arrive soon enough. So know when I use all these I’s, me’s and my’s - what I really mean is you, you, you. I want it to be known. You were everything to me and I can’t feel anything anymore now that you are gone. And I don’t know if want to feel anything anymore if I cannot feel you again. And this is a big cliché. But this all like a dream, and I’m struggling to phrase everything. And even if I could, just what then? You made me feel overwhelmed. Honestly, there’s no clever or special way to express this properly, I remember every small moment we spent together, unhappily. I tried to make it rhyme but every rhyme limits what I really want to write here, So please just forgive me because writing this to you just feels so surreal. There are other things that I needed to tell you but it is not important now. And I do not remember them without you around to remind me now. In what other way can I explain? Without your presence here I am just like an empty design. Like an insignificant template with no clear end goal, When we were together we screamed at each other. And rage made me smash the wall. For that I am sorry. Because even when I called you a whore and swore at you I still loved you, really, And I am sorry for the times when you wanted to talk but I only wanted to watch the telly. It’s not that I did not care, I did care, I have cared about you more than anything else. I just cannot function normally, I never meant to ever cause you any permanent distress. It was never you, it was always me, it is wrong I can only see that after the fact. Do you remember my face when you told me that you left? I was shocked. I tried to leave myself then. But I was too much of a coward, I wanted to but could not do it, I did not want to see you along the way. It is strange how I forgot the name that you were called, Now I only can remember – You, and that’s all my thoughts.

10-01-2013, 11:00 PM	#2
Zombie Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 125 Battle Record: 5-0 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 2645336	Precious.

10-04-2013, 02:23 AM	#6
BWHAHA Sophomore Member Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 176 Rep Power: 4754289	licks entire face with his own tongue u mind telling mr bwhah where dis from?? smashing walls..oh how symbolic.. !! hulk smash. heh? can u rip out ur own heart?