Lars

[Witty]

@sral

One last great topical battle.

Shall we?

[Pharaohs Army]

no guys no its done remember
witty if thats ur link the true suicided
no its not u
no i would never gang starr said not to fully fcommit the suiicide
i even told rb sister bait no he didint no lars witty you cant keep
no its not true
i cant

ONLY THE 4 GOAT SATIRE DROPS CAN COUNTGER THIS
NOW OBSERVE ME FINDND THE FREE SITE AND YES IT WAS UK BASED LOL
I DONT KNOW WHICH SITE I DOMIATED GUYS IN THE BTW #1 PHARAOHS STILL 2-WITT 3-ZYGOTE LARS ATH THARD 4 STILL GONG I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE

I GOT JESO AND BUDDHA RASDFJKL;
ASDFNOASDO NO WITTY DIDNT
NO IT WAS TRANSLATED INTO SPANISH WITH BUDDHAS CLOSER
NO THERE WERE PERFEFCT LNIKS AND FOREGIN SPANISH BEATS AND GOAT RAPPSERS FOR THEM
AND FOR VLUGAR WITTTY PLZ SOMEONE @ON THAT LINK VERIFY OR NOT ON THE WITTY THREAD IT DERMINES THE NEXT POLL FOR MY LIFE
yeajh bags harddd jokes on @Ghost1 hardd jokes dude on the fake out i never fucking doxed u and also allll the gay stuff
BUT IF WITTY LINK CONFIRMED THE TRUE SUICIDE POLL IS COMING
sandra ,, V< a real doctor nothign could sotp it
WE'D POLL ABOUT THE METHOD TOO
oh dear god eng coulndt stop it

everything all this fun saitre would be an RIP thread
whereer ppl legit were alilte tiny said
but not witty or lars
or bags

it cant coninuet
@Universe to thread for my life before I find the UK #1 pharaoh 4 satires UK for all these writesrs
INEED LIKA ONE line U INOW WHAT ITS A "got lars bud"
its a "yes nice fix on the 1 multi correciton in ur voting life"
YES I ADMIT I COULD CUT IG DOWN BY 1 SYLLABLE FOR U FARA

EVERYTHING HEREE EEEE EIS IREAAAAAAL NO THARD TROLLING RIGHT LARS RIGHT WIT @emcee squared @HOL find and DROP RIGHT NOW INSTNALY IT WAS ORANGE GRAPHICS
I EVEN KNO MY ALIAS NAME ON IT

ONLY DOM IF UNI WANTS ME TO DIE @Dominate @Answer would be the tertiary for everything

[Witty]

I hope every single one of your boring persona's dies in pain.
@sral let me know

[sral]

There’s not even anyone around to vote on it.

LETS DO IT

[Witty]

I just want to see if I've still got it.

Pharaoh will vote lmao imagine having multiple personalities on a dead forum and still can't make a top five.

Topic and line limit on you @sral buddy, idgaf if nobody votes, let's go.

[sral]

64 max

someone else can choose the topic

[emcee squared]

Open Source Older Editor Guys On The Net Being Banned While You Update the Top 5 as I remain of course:

Yep AJ AND NOTTT NYC AND NOTTT BLAEDED CUNTALIAS WANT RELIGION HERE:
Uptick in "Newly Created Religions" @Sinacog Sparks Concerns From Federal Courts, Law Officials [GUYS GIVE IT A CHANCE @NCG's slog thru this for AJ #2,3,4 the tops here get trhu it]
WASHINGTON D.C.--Trustworthy sources, anecdotes, and first-hand accounts all point to the same thing: hundreds of new religions have been springing up all over the nation in anticipation of the Supreme Court's decision on the Hobby Lobby suit brought against the U.S. government.

Hobby Lobby (an arts&crafts chain) contends that it should not have to comply with the Affordable Healthcare Act's requirement that birth control for women be covered by the insurance plans of companies employing 50 or more people.


"Oral arguments" were heard today in the U.S. Supreme Court, with Conestoga Wood Specialties--a smaller, less important corporation--joining Hobby Lobby as a plaintiff.

A decision is not expected until early June. But if you need something to help you fall asleep, the Audio of the proceedings will likely be on CSPAN at some point.

The case touches on very important fundamental issues with respect to both the workplace and pretty much everything-- Individual rights, religious rights of corporations, secular laws passed by congress, yada yada yada.

The 'Mainstream Media' are reportedly also litigating the case; no word on if they are the swing vote or if it's Justice Kennedy.

Rest assured that this reporter has found the buried lead. The breaking news involves concerns by lawmakers and those in the legal system about a sudden trend in individuals and groups forming brand new religions out of--ostensibly--thin air.

The District of Columbia alone has 7 confirmed reports of religions created in the last 3 days, with titles such as:

God's-Law-Only Parish
My 11th Commandment Apostles
Church of Sinful-I.R.S.-Begone
I-Thought-You-Didn't-Like-Sharia Covenant

among others.
-----------------------------------------------------
John Doe, the self-proclaimed founder and 'pastor' of the Church of Sinful-I.R.S.-Begone, was forthright with comments:

"Yeah, it's a new religion," said Doe. "But I'm not the only member. My daughter's in it. And my Ma is thinking about it. I know my constitutional rights...just because my religion is very new and very small doesn't mean it's not protected under the law."

Asked to explain the core beliefs of his 'Church', Doe eagerly elaborated.
"Well we haven't yet decided if we have one god, or multiple gods. But however many there are, the book they wrote is ENTIRELY opposed to the Internal Revenue Service, and any form of taxation on any member. This means all the individuals' personal income...not just your run-of-the mill property and institutional exemptions."

"Basically, whoever joins my church is forbidden from paying any personal income taxes. I'm also thinking about other laws that our God(s) overtly condemn. Because not only do these laws go against our core beliefs, but we will be punished by our creator(s) for obeying them."

Asked about his place of worship, Doe said that his newly renovated backyard tool-shed will "do for now." He was more vague about the legal status of his Church with respect to the state.

"Probly takes some paperwork in the county or state office, or something. We are OK with paperwork, by the way. I donno, you're a reporter can you let me know about this process, do you know about it?"
-------------------------------------------------------
The newly formed 'Autolothists', based in southeast Virginia, pose a particularly vexing problem for law-makers and law enforcers.

"My God," said Joan Day, "the one, true God, prohibits the observation of most traffic laws, on most days."

"Just because my religion is new doesn't mean the texts aren't clear. NOT doing whatever I want in my car on the road is explicitly forbidden. Anyone including police officers who prevent me from observing my religion on the roads will be sued," said Day.

Asked about the safety and rights of other motorists on the road, Day replied "Traffic safety is not in the constitution. Freedom of religion is."
------------------------------------------------------
"We're just not ready," said a clerk from one of the District Courts around here. "The Supreme Court's ruling could potentially open a can of worms. The high stacks of paper in my office are already a slippery slope. I can't imagine what this flood of cases would do to them."
------------------------------------------------------
"It's almost like...we'd need a new law about 'showing your religious papers' so that with each individual or corporation we'd know which laws we can enforce," said local Sheriff John Law.

"But who knows which new religion could pop up--that could potentially be opposed to the 'show your religion law'--you know?!"
--------------------------------------------------------
"My company employs 49 people, my God says I must employ at least 50, but if I go to 50 there are some insurance issues with my holy text as well," said an unnamed and frustrated business owner. "I don't know what this country's coming to but the Founding Fathers wouldn't like it."
EDIT ON THE BAD QUICK PASTJOB FOR UNI'S LENGTH NEEDS OF COURSE LARS WENT JUST ALIL LONG ON HOF SIBLING JEALOUSY OF RUNNER UP AERO HERE
BLUE, DULL, ME OF COURSE, EVERY BLACK OR WHITE OR HISPANIC MALE FROM THE AGE OF 7.5 CAN SUCKKKK MY SPORTS TAKES LOLLL:
WITTY HOW MY PERSONA'S DOIN AS U SCROLL TO STILL #1'S CLOSER BUD MAN I CANT BELIEVE HOW GOOD U GUYS ANDDD CLOSE THIS WAS
YEAH I GOT 2.5 WEEKENS OF WEED BEFOER SOBRIETY SO YEAH
hol WITH A HARRRRRD DEADLINE FOR WITTY LARS ANDD BAGS CAN HELP WHOLE SITE CAN HELP ON SUICIDE POLLS AN METHODS
31 Teams Shoot Down Proposal At "Owner's Meeting"
ORLANDO, FLORIDA-- An under-reported proposal at the 2014 annual Owners Meetings was overwhelmingly struck down, with 31 teams voting "Nay". There were zero "Yay's"; The New England Patriots abstained.

Even the Denver Broncos ownership voted against the proposal, which would have cancelled the entire regular season, wild card week, and divisional playoff round, in the AFC.

The AFC season would have consisted of merely 1 game-- the Conference Championship between the Denver Broncos and the New England Patriots-- at a yet-to-be-determined date.

The entire league schedule would have been reworked, so that the NFC would only play games within its own conference.

Owners of the typical cellar-dwelling teams were open to the idea, but maintained that they needed the ticket sale revenue.

Broncos owner Pat Bowlen also voted No on the measure. Pressed for an explanation, he said "Peyton Manning needs his regular season wins and stats. And John Elway wants to live vicariously through him."

Patriots owner Robert Kraft abstained, "in the spirit of Coach Belichick," he claims.


Belichick also missed the annual League Coaches Photo with an undisclosed injury.


Newly acquired cornerback Darrelle Revis could not be reached for comment, but fellow mercenary Brandon Browner joked, "I'm sure he wouldn't mind playing a regular season so he could see 2 or 3 balls thrown his way."

Browner appeared in good spirits, and ready for quarterbacks to test him. Actually, he was a little bit TOO amped-up.

There was a similar proposal that never got off the ground for a vote, which offered the same thing for the NFC, with the Seahawks and 49ers.

"The Packers still have Rodgers," said an unnamed owner.

"This is a league of parity and any team could make a playoff run. The proposal itself was insulting," said Jaguars owner Shahid Khan.
AHAHAHAHAH MACE BUDDY U R THE BEST NOW WITH A HARd #5 as we REALTIME FOR AJ'S MIND YEAH
@MaCe here in the uber revise (we open to evidnace and dat remember on the #6 now zygote and #7answer spreadsheet bitches):
mace 1 linin baits waaayy better than #13a Generic Bayou who wants sports much as Dull WAAAY UP FROM 50 NOW INTO THE #13a area depending on which 1-line feeds here with fake satire feed rite?
still on sports for 2 of the 4 goats before closer
hey UK guys u wanna analyze these in private Chat for PHaraoh #1 ahhaha
NCAA on the Defensive Over Burger"King" Ad
ANN ARBOR, MICHIGAN-- As College Basketball's "March Madness" heats up, with the "Sweet 16" round just around the corner, viewers of the four stations of coverage have no doubt seen a Burger King advertisement starring Chris Webber (NBA Hall-of-Famer and former Michigan Wolverine star).

Viewers can now watch the games on 4 networks instead of just one, thanks to a landmark 2010 10.8 billion dollar deal between CBS and Turner Sports. (There is not enough room here to provide mailing addresses for those network companies, but I'm sure they appreciate 'thank you's' and/or donations from viewers).

The Burger King Ad has stirred up some controversy across the Men's College Basketball scene and the University of Michigan, but mostly among small-time sports bloggers and aspiring satire columnists.

"We stand by our proud sponsorship of Burger King and their entire tasty fast-food menu," said Mark Emmert, NCAA president. "We have no problem displaying our logo and partnership in such an ad, which really just aims to inform people about a delicious new menu choice."

The ad features Chris Webber, donning a conspicuous yellow "#4" jersey with no logo.

"People who think that it's his Michigan jersey from his college days are reading into things," said Emmert.

By 2002--after a long and sweeping investigation involving the NCCA, as well as the Big-Ten Conference, the FBI, IRS, and DOJ--the University of Michigan faced harsh sanctions (both self-imposed and from the NCAA) as a result of former players' relationships to booster Ed Martin (convicted of running an illegal gambling operation and money laundering).
Webber was the most high profile player involved in the 'shady dealings'. The "Fab-Five's" memorable Final Four seasons were forfeited, along with a a season or two before(and/or after)the Fab Five that nobody cares about.

If you don't want to read the previous two paragraphs the ESPN 30 for 30 "Fab Five" production is highly recommended.

"I was a bit shocked that Webber and the NCAA were joint partners with Burger King on my TV screen," said an unnamed University of Michigan student. Pressed for further response he added, "They'll still get my business. For the most part I like them better than McDonalds."

Former Michigan players who were not involved in the scandal but were affected by the sanctions and vacated/forfeited games could not be reached for comment. One can only infer from their attitudes towards Webber in the past that they might not be 'happy campers'. Their fast-food eating habits are not known.
closer guys @veritas check it bud I know you love and mentored Witbag man. Thx for callin me that 1 time doc 8 yrs ago b4 jeso topicalised the world of writing U HAD IT FIRST THO lol
Satire Web Study - A Mixed Bag
ANYWHERE-- Just yesterday, web technicians and various analysts at a reputable Think Tank published a study pertaining to the number of 'satire' websites around the internet.

It's up for debate on whether the study devoted enough attention to the subject of the 'quality' of the satire found across the web.

The study is not available in print, but readers of this magazine can find it at www.*******.com.
"The decision to publish the study online and not in print was purely a function of accessibility, and keeping up with today's technology...," said a senior fellow at the think tank. "...Nothing to do with cost-effectiveness or lack of readership."

The small section of the study which analyzed the content quality of the sites placed The Onion at the top of the charts.

"It's really all about the writing," said an unnamed Onion editor. "We've been in the business for quite a while. We have established and experienced writers and editors. We don't just hire anybody off the streets."

After the short interview, this columnist (yours truly) may--or may not have--asked said editor for some tips about this very publication. As expected, the advice I received was quite poignant:

"Don't speak in third person," advised the editor. "But don't feel afraid to preface to your readers the fact that you're about to give them the 'jist' of the study's findings."

The long-and-short/nuts&bolts of the redundant study basically said that the number of satire sites has increased with time, and that quality varies widely.

There was no correlation between the quality of the websites' content and their submission policies. Even off the record, think tank analysts withheld comments regarding the subjectivity of what constitutes 'quality satire', and who ultimately made those final calls in the end.

"Some sites openly accepted submissions, but most did not," said Jane Doe, Intern at the think tank. "And ironically the ones closed to submissions were very direct about it."

The ****** was noted for having one of the most open submission policies.

Editors have not yet been reached for comment, but an unnamed writer was quoted at length as saying:
"Yeah, you'd be surprised how decent and humorous the material is around here. Funny stuff,man. Funny... ...It's what I love to do and I like the fact that the site receives a reasonable amount of 'web hits'. But I'd never go so far as to call competing sites 'elitist', or claim that they're 'missing out' on my abilities."

The study did not delve into the often convoluted area of copyright, or the policies of individual websites across the spectrum.

"The whole reason I'm here is to be exposed to readers," offered The ***** writer. "There's more where That came from," he added.

The think tank has taken a marginal amount of flack from an unspecified number of satire sites. Thoughts on whether the criticism was serious or not varied among the think tank fellows, as well as its female employees.

"We were looking at this as empirically as possible," Doe remarked. "We deal with serious policy here, and that includes meta-analysis of all forms of media."

"Any blow-back the think tank received certainly didn't come from us," quipped the unnamed Onion editor. "I don't know about those other sites, but our writers, editors, and readers are sophisticated enough to understand satire and sarcasm when they see it."

Our interview was cut short by his PR meeting before he could comment on my further inquiries about 'sardonicism' and 'self-deprecation', to say nothing of my desired follow-up about whether sardonicism is even a real word.

The previously quoted senior fellow at the think tank did not follow up with me regarding whether Doe was a paid or unpaid intern, nor if in the future there were any planned studies about the effect of the study's findings on readers across the globe.

"Hey if I wanna get paid maybe I'll come work for your magazine!" joked The ***** writer.
@urban dialect
only 1.25 Black N Mild's lef dawg... lol no worries bud gotchu on dat audio collab prolly tomorrow afta werk...maybe some AM mornin' shit for their British Irish Brunch Rite?
@Dope girl
U fk'n w/dat mashup link on my wall for u n urb hun?

-brb-

[Witty]

@Dominate seems to be about.

Throw us a topic.

[emcee squared]

wowww wit that AJ religion one is longngg and i gotta edit in the last 3/4 , 4/5 cuz uni and lars and u wanananna longggg fukin yeah narritve

[emcee squared]

*not a satire double post fuckfeed guys*
true netcees error on an internet lag

[emcee squared]

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (1 members and 0 guests)
emcee squared*

[Dominate]

Originally Posted by Witty

@Dominate seems to be about.

Throw us a topic.

You want a quote, a word/short phrase, a story lead, a pic?

[Witty]

Up to you.

[sral]

How about a quote?

[Pharaohs Army]

He Already Did Mick #2 Foreve Dude Yea and Your Dry A$$ Knows it Go Head.
Pot of Gold riggght at the end of this Question

Originally Posted by Dominate

You want a quote, a word/short phrase, a story lead, a pic?

[Dominate]

“Say hello to my little friend!”

[Pharaohs Army]

yea dom really smart 1liner on the oldes playd gangst movie in ushistory...
etc...
DOM CLEARRRLY NOW AT THE TERTIARY
answer stilll gettin long term payoffs n spreadsheets pmd from me and pretend retired zyg tied wit witty right every1?

we continue on the main acct just cuz the new sig etc
RIGHT UNIS SIG GONE DESPET ITS EPICNESS YEAH
UNI GETSA LLLLLL THE BIGGGGEST REALALLL COMPLIMENTS FOR THAT MEME SHOT IN THAT THREAD YEAHH HES GOT FUCKIN REFERENCE SHIT ON HIS SHIT LINKED PROPLERY AT THE TOP RIGHT @Sinacog FUCKIN GETTT BUSY THIS WEEKND BUDDY on othtttther ppl im busy rite till i hit u

k
edit sig for UNIVERSE STILL MEMING AROUND THE BEST WRITERS of course yeah but he epic sig u like this uni - fuckin 3quickRHYME SINGLESYLLABLE RIGHT LARS and WITTY

u know what universe is so much better than those 2 lol at uberrhymeNartatives righty that are too fuckin glong/
right cuz we talk versaatttily w. lars pretendin
uni donf fuckin yeah u like this SIGGOODBY dicsuck
lolllllllllMEME REAVEA ALL THIS FUKIN GOAT TROLL VOTE NIEEEDED RIGHT EVERBOYD LOL

yeah uni mixxxx in quick hitters for me aj and Hal0 to ABSROOB
while lars sjsus olde english trolllling oh god lars see how we go real time here
LARS TIED WITH VERSATILITY UNI STILL CUZ WE YEP

edit new sig then a submit then we really etc. get high. write shit. righ tmace?
nice 1-2 key idiot. lol

[Witty]

Originally Posted by sral

How about a quote?

Yeah that'll do.

[Pharaohs Army]

no, or don' worry mick/prick

dom can't see it aaand w.e

yeah the next one

[Witty]

Fuck off.