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Old 09-13-2013, 02:29 AM   #1
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Default Audio - Westlake, Look at me now...

I know I need a lot of work still but I have been working a few songs to help me to learn to ride the beat and work on delivery.

https://soundcloud.com/evild81

Westlake Cypher

Hi my name is script I’m spitting this for those who didn’t know
I create new events delegates it’s like your clicking go
I have a sixth sense for mathematics your just adding slow
I do it on habit I’m like a savage with algorithmic flow
Camel humping like I dropped the hammer on your little toe
I leave none remaining I divide them their divisible
I kill terminate every single.. Individual
An I paint a vivid picture so you can maintain a visual
I build game It’s what I aim ta maintain my living through
And I won’t stop even when I’m chilling in my swimming pool
Of cash flow I won’t slop even when the brim is full
I create lines from the curve they’re moving in my integral
They see me in 2D but I’m really three dimensional
I’m differential though in every single syllable
There’s no change in volume it’s Cavalier’s principle
I test em suggesting that they’re truly infinitesimal
It leaves them on a slope that isn’t even really testable
Like a tomato to the face I have them looking like a vegetable
Fruit smeared a loose curve I knock em off their pedestal
I watch them like a hawk you can call me the incredible
I put them back in place I leave a piece or just a shred of you
When the punches cease I’ll have them looking like confetti do
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Last edited by Scripter; 09-13-2013 at 02:32 AM.
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Old 09-13-2013, 03:18 AM   #2
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I kinda digged your shit I mean from a critique view I wanna say I didn't like it cause of your vocab and stretches but I mean from the 3 songs I heard, I enjoyed it.

I died when you started spittin lynchin shit from wow.
Try to keep your bars about from the first length till now.
Never go over a measurement unless you bar it togethor with like multi rhymes.


Tell me about the moon, rain sun and stars Intergalactic raps from mars!
(Eminem) - See how he rhymes in 1 bar, kind of confusing concept; never tried explaining it.

Im sure you know what I am talking about and im probably not accrediting you to the fullest extent; jsut try and rhyme more without stretching and watch the nerd rap, very hard to get publicity, unless your rapping for game intro's.

Big words are hard to enunciate with syllables after stretching, only use them when the line is like; a few words tied off and you can still feel a pop and good sound.
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Old 09-13-2013, 02:32 PM   #3
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I appreciate the feed, I am new to riding a beat proper, I know I need ta work on my swag and ups and downs on the beat.
The vocabulary and subject relates to my line of work which is Game Development. I am trying to create a swag that can relate game programming to the rap game, if you get me.
I am just try to shed light on the real meaning of Hip(Knowledge)-Hop(Movement)
I use my lyrics to remember things in tests for Calculus
for example terms like

Integral (a function of which a given function is the derivative, which yields that function when differentiated, and which may express the area under the curve of a graph of the function.) In other words I stay with the learning curve

Tangent - (Informally, it is a line through a pair of infinitely close points on the curve. More precisely, a straight line is said to be a tangent of a curve y = f(x) at a point x = c on the curve if the line passes through the point (c, f(c)) on the curve and has slope f'(c) where f' is the derivative of f.)

Derivative - Something that gets its values from a base value
Like a style developed from many others(Bruce Lee)
it also relates to inheritance and composition.(Has a)(Is a) relationship to the base

Infinitesimal (an indefinitely small quantity; a value approaching zero) when values are so small they can't be measured.


Please more feed!
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Old 09-13-2013, 05:50 PM   #4
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Cool page. Wasn't that bad really. Thought you sounded a little lazy, syllable control was good. Up ur tone a notch. Cool lyrics.. I think I peeped the westlake track. Had a funky ass beet like an old nintendo or atari game.. thought it was dope. Cool shit
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Old 09-22-2013, 12:39 AM   #5
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Thanks for the feed. I think doing it over and over kinda killed the mood but I will keep trying thanks again.
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Old 09-22-2013, 05:53 AM   #6
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All I'll say is: keep it up. with practice, comes perfection. and try to actually record on the beat next time, and not with music merely playing in the BG. Audacity is free if you're serious.
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Old 09-23-2013, 12:54 AM   #7
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hey man first time seeing u. the westlake one was really cool. u had that kinda laid back cocky style which i dug. the rhymes were good u could tell u were just fucking around... a little lazy as geno says, nonthless dope rhymes. not feeling ur voice to be honest but i don't really like how mine sounds when i record it either so whatever haha. anything geno says for audio advice is a good dude to listen to, his tracks are ass for quality but he flows sick and has good emotion. your very monotone... i have a problem with that aswell.. i think it will become better the more we actually spit. i thohght the other 2 were kinda wack to be honest, but u clearly didn't try nearly as hard on those as the westlake one. so all in all i like ur style.. its almost nerdy in a way but smart/funny.. haha its different so i dig it. definetly keep at it and keep writing ur shit to beats and recording man. stay up! will peep if u post more!
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Old 09-27-2013, 11:31 AM   #8
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Hey thanks for the feed! Yeah I really don't have a lot of time to write right now, I am in college full time at the moment, but I will be graduating my next term. I agree with you about the tone in my voice I hate it. I keep trying to find new ways to make it sound better.
I have Audacity but I know very little about recording ect any help would be appreciated. Thanks
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Ⓖⓔⓣ ⓘⓝ ⓣⓗⓔ ⓑⓞⓦⓛ
I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT
╔══════╦═╗╔═╦═══╦═╦═══╗
║░╔╗╔╗░║░║║░║╚══╣░║░╔═╝
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╚═╝░░╚═╩════╩═══╩═╩═══╝
¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸.•*¨*•♫♪

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