AOWL SEASON 3 MAGAZINE — EDITION 12

[Certain]

Season 3, Edition 12

Have No Fear of Perfection
INTRODUCTION by Certain





Hello, friends. We have another great magazine in store for you this week, thanks largely to the guest contributors: zygote, oats, Split Eight and big baby. I won't bore you with anything because I have no real announcements to make except that this half of the season has been terrific and I look forward to the second half. We'll have announcements about how many playoff spots will be available and the format of the playoffs forthcoming. Until then, enjoy.



ITM by zygote
Dethroned as champion, our resident alien-android decided to make fun of us with political slogans.





In the format of Certain’s original template, and in the style of two weeks ago's political topics, each currently signed in user’s writing will be compared a political party with “slogan”; location and date; and platform.


Zombie | “Zombie. Wow. Intense.”
Laissez Faire Industrial Party - Earth, 2000. Party platform is equal parts effort and apparent apathy. Intense.


Split Eight | “Facility Equality, Plentiful Microwaveables and Subsidized Alcohol.”
Engineering Student Council Representative - Boston University of Technology, 2000. All policy is contained within the slogan, also runs constant attack advertisements against due dates for reports and the amounts of examinable material.


Frank | “United Liberation Democratic Front.”
General Clay Johnson - Liberia, 1974. A platform of arbitrarily and seemingly random actions, where decisions are as unpredictable as the Generals daily mood.


Mike Wrecka | “Roads, Roads, Roads.”
The Conservative Conservatives - U.K., 1984. Has the basics fundamentals all under control, a complete focus on road building to stimulate growth.


Cereal_Killa | “Whacky, funkar sloop a froosh.”
Anarchosyndicalist Buddhist-LGBT and Peyote Party - ????, 1990? Flag design will be changed into ‘rainbow.’ Will oversee the creation of both the Ministry of Psychedelic Substance Use and the Department of Absurd Non-sequiturs.


oats | “Free surfing for our future.”
Green Party - Hawaii, 2010. Running on an equal platform of Keynesian economic regulations, full legalization of the word ‘dude’, advanced beat poetry education reform and wave riding transportation systems.


Johnathan Mercy | “Vocabularus Voteario Ovarus-Complicarix”
Prince Leonardo da Jonathici - Florence, 1527. Brutal clemency from a renaissance artist, flair for writing manuscripts only matched by a love for using long words in voting material.


Soulstice | “Now hiring. Good hours, good pay.”
Underfunded local political party - Any town, 1900-2000. Soulstice is one of the local favorites, but it seems like the campaign drive is underfunded by a lack of time. Looking at the record 1-2, the losses were probably ‘no-shows.’


Vividlyvague | “Paradox and Dialogue.”
Far left right wingers – Dimension X, 7777. Ends every campaign speech with a twist ending. Decisions are made based on the outcome of a 12 sided dice. Legislation is drafted entirely in lengthy dialogue sections.


King Ra. | “Bow before the Final Incarnation of Nebuchadnezzar.”
The Highest Nubian Heaven - Waco, 1982. Campaign promises include; collection of all souls upon death in the hyperbolic eternal reaction chamber, ESP connection with Nubian Overgods during The Ritual and individual unconditional love to all Level 13 Chosen Initiates.


timeless | “The middle, measured, median way.”
Populist Political Party - Generic Location, Generic Date. Platform includes appealing to the widest demographic. It would be nice to see the populist take an extreme stance on a topic rather than the direct one.


Perpendicular | “I remember why...”
Council of Mysterious Wizards - Harry’s Potter school, 2000. The commitment to an obvious alias with humorous profile picture and good rhyming skills have indeed cemented the place as a mysterious wizard.


Adonis | “Rrrrrrraaaaaaakk.”
Zardok - Postapocalyptic Los Angeles, 2022. I don’t really know, Adonis has been going pretty gimmick heavy, in fact a lot of the league myself included have gone kind of fourth-wall/meta in the past few weeks.


Certain | “Absolute perfection.”
National Socialist Grammar Party - Berlin, 1939. Banned spelling variants include: Favour, neighbour, gray, fibre, centre, colour, litre, recognise, defence. All subhuman English spelling variants must be identified and eradicated.


Vulgar | “Spiritual, Individual and Pastoral-Cyborg.”
The People’s Revolutionary Technocracy - Cambodia, 2076. Major infrastructure projects include construction of Beersheba spaceship pyramids, and the Kyrgyzstan-Laos hyperdimensional camel tunnel.



Week 11 Rewind
BATTLE REVIEWS by Certain
The submissions outshined the voting this week. As a whole, this league clearly is gearing up for the playoff push, and the intensity of the written showed that well.





1. oats (9-2) beats Vulgar (4-3) 5-1. | The whole world is depending on you.
BATTLE OF THE WEEK! Both of these guys lost last week, and the fire clearly was lit. Vulgar dropped a shorter verse, and that alone may have been the biggest factor in him losing. His story about a man controling levers in a futuristic world where our environment has been completely destroyed and we need someone to balance the atmosphere was interesting but underdeveloped, despite a lot of good writing. oats did the opposite, filling out an entire argumentative piece on the concept of economy. There were some unaddressed holes in his theory, but the way he structured his argument was thoughtful and thought-provoking. It was one of the best verses of the season and showed what the star of the seasons thus far.

Originally Posted by Vulgar

The shortage of oxygen, causing corpses to stockpile, lords of the obsolence
Ignoring the opulence for a portion of godly mist used to be normally obvious
Mandatory duties: Purge the ports, Earth's a torch, refill the canisters
The cities we built were cancerous, the filters blanched with dust
Imagine trying to preserve an atmosphere for civil kindred damned to flush
forced to wilt and wander the morbid filth... as phantoms must
This chore's surreal, without the warden's will, this land is crushed
H20's not even guaranteed - robbed of resources, just ask Dillinger
Genetic mutation decompressed mankind... passed into gas cylinders

2. Zombie (4-0) beats zygote (8-3) 4-3. | No one has ever before seen anything like it.
So this is the championship match. zygote uses paragraph format in a tale of Norse lineage, and Zombie explains his existence by contradicting it. Yeah, this is the championship match. And it was a good one. My feeling is that Zombie probably won mostly on the basis of his ridiculous rhyme schemes here. His content wasn't anything special, but he did do it well and built up steam toward the end. zygote, though, mostly ignored doing anything worthy of remark with his rhymes in favor of a low-key approach about the passing of a crown. And then the crown was passed.

Originally Posted by Zombie

each segment alive, I forget who I am, I forget on my likeness
I forget I'm a person, I forget that I'm timeless.
If Lt. Colonel wasn't real, does that make our duet all a lie?
I feel tormented. And violent. I regret that I'm like this
a desert a crisis, a venom, a virus.
Am I even real? Is there even a heaven, a highness?
the venture of blind men, that attempt to go spineless
i'm inception, a rhythm of lines, a measure in metrics presented in time
an iridescent surprise that plays a role in a vengeful surmise
a minuscule peasant. I dont even exist.

3. Split Eight (3-2) beats timeless (6-5) 6-0. | This can't be how it's supposed to end.
This battle was so good and showed us two writers in different stages of massive improvements. Split Eight clearly and squarely has found his place among the best topical writers this site has to offer. He now gets his shot at the championship after writing a verse worthy of that mantra, painting a character torn on his future only to be run over by a bus. I expected some to feel the ending was cheap, but he drew the shutout anyway. Hopefully this is because people understood that the abrupt ending was pointed and poignant. Certainly, timeless did enough to draw some consideration. He continues to improve and this week gave us a look at duality and the choices we make in life to where we're going. I thought some of the writing needed a bit more polish, smoothing out rough edges like switching randomly to first-person at one point. He also was a bit too on-the-nose, whereas Split Eight thrives in subtleties. But this was a match clearly worthy of its contender-battle status.

Originally Posted by Split Eight

A novice drawing teacher, with coffee, keys,
coat slung on shoulder, locked his glossy Beamer
and crossed the street, busy thinking over...
...everything, drips of thought rippled into
faucet speed. His aesthetically chiseled nose was
awash in the softest gleam, from his freshly inked diploma:
he'd framed the oft-dreamed of achievement in jeweler's glass...

4. Vividlyvague (6-4) beats Certain (2-3) 5-1. | It'll make a man out of you
Dumbass Certain now has a losing record like a loser because he lost. He wrote about some weird future world and sex drones, and it was boring and incomplete and overly ambitious all at once. But Vividlyvague is the guy you want to read about because he very well may have written the best verse of his time here. Vividlyvague avenged his Season 2 loss with a pretty straightforward take on the topic, but he wrote it with the kind of pomp and sarcasm we expect out of zygote normally. His verse was fun and interesting and much more polished than we ever see out of him. The change of pace was welcome.

Originally Posted by Vividlyvague

We know what you're thinking. Not ANOTHER dysfunction drug! But this is more.
Would you like that feeling BEYOND the funky buzz words of manhood restored?
Well, the clever scientists at Eurba D. Inc. have found what you're looking for!
Virility encapsulated, it promotes pheromone growth in a lasting fragrance...
An odor so actively evaporating that your partner will react in a fit of infatuation!
You will be chest hair-masculine, a smoking jacket and suit vest-wearing advocate

5. Frank (8-3) beats Perpendicular (1-1) 5-3. | This is your chance to prove yourself
This heavyweight battle was a little on the disappointing side. Frank put in just enough to win it, as he so often does. He wrote about a woman named Fertility who was pregnant despite her whole body being fake. The idea was that the pregancy was her shot at being a real person despite the breast augmentation and hair extensions and all that. He did the one-rhyme thing, of course, but he didn't push the envelope with it like he had last week. I would have liked to have seen him do a little more on the issue of the topic. Perpendicular seemed to have this battle won until he finished weakly. He had a good start in examining the sexual process, a well-trod topic that made sense in this context. But then he awkwardly switched his topical relevance to parenthood and failed to develop that line of thinking. Some of his writing was a little stiff, favoring mechanical prowess over natural cadence. That's the type of writing that tends to struggle against Frank's very natural, though sloppy, writer's voice.

Originally Posted by Frank

Tremendously stressed, ecstasy in her sweat
The density of her breast made her lean forwards as she read in the red
And fainted falling on her silicone ass full of fat injection from the depth in her legs
She had underwent millions of dollars worth of surgery from her neck to her chest
She always wanted a kid but first a career and successfully not one unexpectedly bred
Plop a kid in front of the television and put Sesame on the set
And call yourself a mother while the nanny runs the family weren't ethics she'd respect

6. Cereal_Killa (2-1) beats Adonis (4-7) 3-2. | It's the only thing that's important anymore
I'm not entirely sure I know what Cereal_Killa's verse was about, but it was very well written. With every reread, this story of a snake and a woman giving birth made a little more sense, found a little more metaphorical cohesion. It was an interesting verse either way, though, full of beautifully written sections and quirky rhymes and diction. Adonis, meanwhile, went for the on-the-nose approach while using another gimmick, this time playing off his opponent's name by making his verse about popular cereal mascots. The royal rumble he created was fractured but cleanly written. This was a very close battle, but even as I voted for Adonis, I fully understand why others went with Cereal_Killa.

Originally Posted by Cereal_Killa

Through the fields of grass blades and the frozen tears of reality, smeared
I slither with the perfect imbalance of a scenic contrast in faith and fear
My internal organs ache, not of pain but rather the same extracted shame
That though I want to change
I don’t for a fact WANT the change
Feminine by sound n’ by morals, I seek a feast fit for a Duchess or Duke
As I clear beyond the coming hatchlings through the chicken’s coop
I brush past the barbed wire fence, translucent with my bread crate
And contort my thoughts into a question to fit my new found sense of taste
At what point do we believe that a chicken can no longer menstruate

7. Soulstice (1-2) wins via dead man (0-3) no-show. | You need to figure out who you really are
I most admire the framework Soulstice set up in this verse, which was my favorite of the week. He began with a pivotal, scene-setting moment, then receded back in time, very much like a traditional magazine feature story except that it was told in the first person. The ending was a bit on the vague side, but I figure that was intentional. The topical cohesion was spot-on, as well, and that rates high on my list of priorities. He told the tale of someone fighting their fears and finding the world of nature with the help of a questionable mentor. I highly recommend everyone read this verse because its storytelling was to be admired. dead man said he had a verse, but he didn't post it on time.

Originally Posted by Soulstice

Weeks later- weakened by the schemes of this dream chaser
Eating tough meat - pupils amble like screen savers
"We're east slayers, jungle lords!" He'd cheerily tell me
So I'd forget my diet of jaguar and mysterious berry's
I was nearing resentment - blood taught me everything dries
The thrill of a laundry cycle comprised ending a life

8. Johnathan Mercy (2-2) wins via MMLP (0-5) no-show. | Nothing really matters anymore
Let's start by acknowledging that Johnathan Mercy may be the most talented writer in our midst. He showed it again this week with a hard-hitting look at the value and values of rap, perhaps bu tnot necessarily specifically text rap. The rhyme scheme was ridiculous, and the writing was tight and hardened, as I've come to expect week in and week out. But I did question the relevance to the topic this week. It seemed like he had this verse inside him and let it out while tying it to the topic at the end. MMLP let me know he no longer has time enough for this league.

Originally Posted by Johnathan Mercy

Ever slipped unnoticed past the system's focus
like an unrestricted ogre with vicious motives
leaving faces blackened and windows broken
to get mad pussy because you're a shitty poet?
Ever wiped cum off with an eviction notice
to merrily kick it knowing the bitch is homeless?

9. King Ra. (4-6) wins via Just Write (4-4) no-show. | We can do this if we work together
This battle almost happened, apparently, except that it didn't because Just Write decided no-showing was better than posting a half-finished verse that he allegedly had. King Ra. only posted a half-finished verse of his own, but it had the start of something very interesting and very much in line with what we expect from King Ra.

Originally Posted by King Ra.

Every move precise. Safe.
I watched from a distance, as this epic battle took place.
Even with all of the damage accrued,
the three pyramids still remained.
Unscathed. Not one stone removed.
Not the slightest hint of a graze.
Though the skies were gray, and lightning struck with might, wildly.
I had no fear- for my father told me,
"everything will be okay.
We will be victorious. Tomorrow will mark a new day."

10. Mike Wrecka wins via YDK no-show. | How will we ever make it stop?
Mike Wrecka sent me a verse in a private message. YDK did not.



NO-SHOW SHINE by oats
Our breakfast king offers some commentary on the three verses that didn't get any votes.





Johnathan Mercy | Nothing really matters anymore
Mercy had a dope verse, not only because his rhyming was crisp and pointed as ever, but because his content was fresh, compelling, and open for interpretation without being overbearingly vague. I took it as an ode to writing, and how language allows us to make sense of things, touching on some philosophical notes of what is real and what is merely a construction of our imaginative attempts to categorize the world around us. This all done with his signature sardonic humor, making it eminently re-readable. One of the top verses of the week, in my opinion.

Ever slipped unnoticed past the system's focus
like an unrestricted ogre with vicious motives
leaving faces blackened and windows broken
to get mad pussy because you're a shitty poet?
Ever wiped cum off with an eviction notice
to merrily kick it knowing the bitch is homeless?

Soulstice | You need to figure out who you really are
Soul came with a dark, vivid story of an apprentice with his professor tromping through a jungle. Of course, this was packed with layers of metaphorical meaning, from the small details of a Golden Pagoda at the edge of the jungle to the hunting of its game as the true purpose of exploration. There was lots to unpack here, and it was decorated with a silent menace that flowed beneath the action. What I loved about this verse was how it ended. You know what happens, but you don’t know. Read it, you’ll see what I mean.

I packed what I deemed essential - the professor burned it all
Said I'd find what I need before we reached the walls
Later. On the airboat, he said in a hushed, dreamy tone
"There are dark secrets here, boy, that only the trees can know-

King Ra | We can do this if we work together
Ra posted what looks like the foundational layer of a verse. All the elements of a classic King Ra verse were there: grandiose backdrop, Egyptian allusions, and dialogue reminiscent of epic heroes. It’s hard to comment on this, though, because the verse was underdeveloped. I would have liked to see him fully cash in on the groundwork he put down, but as is this was a cool glimpse into the creative process of one of our most imaginative writers.

I watched from a distance, as this epic battle took place.
Even with all of the damage accrued,
the three pyramids still remained.
Unscathed. Not one stone removed.

Week 12 Preview
POWER RANKINGS by Split Eight
We back off the audio power rankings for at least one week as Split Eight takes charge and ranks your host inappropriately too high.





There's not too much rhyme or reason to these rankings... I gave the top spot to someone who I thought showed the most potential to move to the top of the rankings, and each person below is the next most likely. It's mostly gut feelings.


10. Soulstice
Last Week: NR
Formerly: Just Write
I always find the tenth spot the most difficult spot to fill. Not only because number 10 is essentially the last person on my 'radar', but also because it requires a weird justification- both explaining why everyone else below this didn't make it, and why they aren't any higher. Soulstice just *barely* beat out Perpendicular and Mike Wrecka for this spot.
Soulstice is returning after bringing great dishonor to famree after no-showing me in W9, then getting a freebie NS win from dead man. He jumps to 10th in the ranks from previously unranked.

Originally Posted by Soulstice

Just mere hours away, or so I was told
I never felt close to this unapproachable pagoda of gold
I could feel the jungles gloats and its crows - and this magnetic aura
Sourced to a shape emerging from excessive darkness

Soulstice wrote an interesting verse last week that could be compared in a few ways to "Heart of Darkness." Parts of the verse were a bit jumbled- character motivations, some slight wording issues, and the plot was a tad hurried-- but the characterization was forceful, and so were the undercurrents of madness, the unknown/ the jungle, and the tone. It didn't seem to be a no-show verse, but also was not up to Soulstice's capacity. That and his strength of schedule (NS win after NS loss) keeps him in the lower half of the rankings. However, his strong adherence to the topic as well as his verse's palpable atmosphere propelled him above other worthy competitors for this spot. He is placed against Johnathan Mercy this week, and I think such a strong competitor will only serve to drive him harder.


9. Vulgar
Last Week: 7
Formerly: Timeless
Vulgar drops two spots in light of his second loss in a row after several weeks of absence. The first loss was to Split Eight, the second to Oats.

Originally Posted by Vulgar

I sit at the control station, composure shaky, a bag of Twizzlers
in my grasp, the literal version of an employee who's over his head
My mechanical license is threatened by hyperbaric inditement - sulfuric treads

Fuck you for not reading my verse, Long John Dickweed. Vulgar caught a single vote last week, but it was from voting aficionado Zygote. Vulgar, as previously mentioned, is going through a bit of a style renaissance due to unknown reasons. However, the strength of his verse against Oats last week says "exploring new avenues of thought" rather than "identity crisis." Vulgar's rhymes and concepts are both as crisp as ever- but something about the young man's verse construction is noticeably different. It's not so much the absence of references- Vulgar has written character pieces and conventional stories before- but the way his concepts and lines come together. It almost seems as if he is focusing on humanizing his characters and focusing on emotional dialogue with readers. This week, he will be facing Certain, which is by no means an easy match-up. Vulgar's strength of schedule has played into this spot- this will be his third difficult match in a row. Furthermore, his style is beginning to come together in the right ways, and the deeper connection to the reader will really harmonize with his strong writer's voice and his talent for putting lines together. Vulgar's committal to this style change as well as the effectiveness of his new steeze with the audience are both crucial to his success in future weeks.


8. Certain
Last Week: omitted by author
Formerly: Vividlyvague
Certain usually speaks these Power Rankings, so I can't really comment about his rankings in the past. I do know that two weeks ago he won via forfeit, and last week he lost to Vividlyvague.

Originally Posted by Certain

nipples

Certain went deep in the Winter Topical. The last two losses he has taken were against two writers who are pushing up into the upper tiers of topicalists in the AOWL, timeless and Vividlyvague. I think that this is partially explained by a tendency to write against his opponent, and partially by writer's fatigue. It is incredibly difficult to pick an effective angle against someone who is steadily improving every week, and even more difficult to do so week in and week out. Certain's verse was well-written. Not his best. But his opponent had all cylinders firing, and his verse didn't quite come full circle enough to clinch a win. Certain seems to do especially well with big ticket battles, and with several years of writing experience under his belt, he seems to be either biding his time or treading water. His writing is always skillful, but his verses can be hit or miss. This week he'll be facing Vulgar, another top-tier writer in the lower half of the rankings. Not that I should really be making battle predictions, but being in such similar places: I feel that whoever wins between the two of them will gain the momentum they need to make a run at the champ match.


7. Johnathan Mercy
Last Week: Unranked
Formerly: Vulgar
Johnathan Mercy is bounding back after a loss to Vividlyvague. He won last week via NS with a very strongly written verse, which is part of the reason he went from unranked to 7th.

Originally Posted by Johnathan Mercy

Ever slipped unnoticed past the system's focus
like an unrestricted ogre with vicious motives
leaving faces blackened and windows broken
to get mad pussy because you're a shitty poet?

JM came out of nowhere to be one of the strongest writers in the league, in my opinion. His verses are multilayered, his mechanics are fantastic, and his language is relatively easy to digest. This man will be a huge problem in the playoffs. I have my suspicions about who JM is- but there's no suspicion left on whether or not he has the capacity to champ the league. He will be facing Soulstice this week, who I believe is younger but just as experienced. JM writes like someone who has been around the topical block, and is virtually rust free. He has shown himself to be versatile, but at the same time seems to be either holding back or searching for drive.


6. Zygote
Last Week: 2
Formerly: Perpendicular
Zygote was in the champ match last week, and lost to Zombie in an incredibly close match. He comes off of a long win streak and boasts one of the best records in the league.

Originally Posted by Zygote

Inside the hall, many are already present waiting for the feast to proceed, then serving girls bring out all types of smoked meats, maize, ales and mead. As the feast ends discussion turns to the nature of the current king usurper. All Jarls argue amongst each other, shouting and thumping tables with a zealous fervor. The most prestigious warlords claim they should be king because they are stronger, while others argue they should all carve out their own realms, and let the largest prosper.

It might seem strange for Zygote to be in the lower half of the rankings, but hear me out. Zygote took a large loss to Zombie, and is one of perhaps four absolute powerhouses in the league. Zombie is also a powerhouse. I have little doubt in my mind that Zyg will be able to climb the rankings again, but he simply doesn't have as much momentum as some of the other writers. His verse last week, while I voted for it and thought it won, seemed slightly strained & lacking the dry wit that can usually be found in Zygote verses. Members seemed to be on the fence about the very matter of fact nature of his verses, but I also recall from the NWL that Zygote wrote from the heart and lost. I think that Zygote writes the Zygotist verse regardless of his opponent. This both helps and hurts him in this league, but hurts him as we move towards the playoffs & most writers are coming into their own.


5. timeless
Last Week: 9
Formerly: Frank
Timeless jumps quite a few spots here despite a loss in the Contender's match to Split Eight. He boasts some strong wins and a good showing last week.

An alias coming to life concludes crashing
tides onto the shoreline's pasture, creating bliss from nothing.
Nothing budges when you dont even find yourself to put trust in.
Then you soon start erupting.
Clutching, lust for consumption.
Alone.
Other half's wanting the world to see him.
Not just that he lives or that he's breathing.

Timeless's verse last week showed flashes of brilliance. His capacity for rhyming has increased, and as Certain also noted- this was his third contender's match this season. Timeless continues to climb the ranks and develop his style, and really, it seems to me like something is on the verge of clicking. He weirdly moves up this week, when perhaps someone like Mike Wrecka should be here- but only because I believe that once timeless gets rolling he will quickly become a force. His verse last week showed attention paid to his narrative voice as well as some effective selective wording. This week he faces King Ra, someone he is evenly matched with due to Ra's on-and-off motivation and pickiness about topics, giving timeless an excellent opportunity to kick into an upswing.


4. Oats
Last Week: 4
Formerly: Oats
Oats took a win with what might be the VOTW in what might be the BOTW over heavyweight Vulgar. The fact that he stays in the same spot is due to yeoman's work by those above him.

Originally Posted by oats

the whole verse was a quote ok fuck off

Oats is a behemoth. He has a very individual style, and has been writing for many years. He shows no sign of tiring, and though he took a loss two weeks ago, he still has one of the best records in the league along side Frank and Zygote. This week he is paired up with Cereal_Killa, a veteran with a penchant for poetic phrasings and delicate, precise brush strokes. His momentum is undoubtedly on the upswing again, and his verses are near playoff quality.


3. Frank
Last Week: 5
Formerly: Split Eight
Frank, I believe, is on a multiple win steak against some excellent opponents of varied backgrounds. Strength of schedule and hungriness gives him this spot.

Originally Posted by Frank

She always wanted a kid but first a career and successfully not one unexpectedly bred
Plop a kid in front of the television and put Sesame on the set
And call yourself a mother while the nanny runs the family weren't ethics she'd respect
Fertility dreamt of chemistry but instead she relentlessly slept

Frank deserves the third spot. I'm not sure what can be said about Frank that hasn't already been said. This week, he is in the contender's match against Mike Wrecka, which will not be an easy win. Frank seems determined to champ the league. His stories are often vivid and lifelike, and are his strong suit in a league which tends to be dominated by stylistically strong writers over traditional storytellers- though this paradigm is greatly shifting. Look for Frank to make an appearance in either this championship match or an upcoming week.


2. Vividlyvague
Last week: 8
Formerly: Zygote

Vividlyvague has exponentially improved in the last few weeks, taking down one of the most polished writers in the league in Certain, adding to a two win streak- possibly more, I only actively tallied the past two weeks.

Originally Posted by Vividlyvague

An odor so actively evaporating that your partner will react in a fit of infatuation!
You will be chest hair-masculine, a smoking jacket and suit vest-wearing advocate
Of barehand bear hunting practices with enough stamina left to have a day's worth of paired masturbation!
Just imagine the bliss. This not an ad for a fix. This is power through anatomical exaggeration.

Vividlyvague really, really impressed me with his writing last week. He showed flares of upper echelon mechanics, a strong writer's voice, and a great angle on the topic. He moved in an unanticipated direction and caught his opponent off-guard, and delivered a great verse overall. He has been consistent and has NOT has an easy schedule the past few weeks, not to mention his record is up there with Oats and Frank. If he continues to write as he did last week, he will be a serious threat in the postseason- if not sooner. His match-up is against Zygote, and is a true test of skill. If Vivid can take a win by votes, there will be absolutely no doubt as to his potential to be top tier.


1. Zombie
Last week: 1
Formerly: Zombie
Zombie won last week's champ match in a close showing over Zygote, winning by but a single vote. Zombie is currently undefeated.

Originally Posted by Zombie

a symbolic conclusion, SO obscene its determined confusing
each occurrence unproven with a myopic swarm of cold morphine
an exploding eye with a serpents arm, a self portraits diluted
an emulsifying illusion. i even had cupid guide me on through it
individual's perception. insanity as an enforcer
distorted reality in the disorder. an unequivocal dimension

Zombie's writing is full of panache, and his creative angles are equally impressive. He has taken down numerous highly ranked opponents and doesn't seem to be breaking a sweat, though curiously has signed out for next week. Only a very select few write on a level that fucks with Zombie, and fewer still do so with any regularity. His matchup is against Split Eight, who likely will write something gay about girls. Looking good for Zombie.



PREDICTIONS/
LISTEN UP by big baby (audio) and Certain (text)
You're going to want to listen to big baby.





NO, SERIOUSLY, LISTEN TO BIG BABY BEFORE YOU MOVE ON. HIS VIDEO IS RIGHT ABOVE THIS.


Championship: 1. Zombie (4-0) vs. 2. Split Eight (3-2) | Ashes by Edvard Munch
BATTLE OF THE WEEK CANDIDATE! Zombie says he's signing out after this week, win or lose. Split Eight has been on a tear, and I think this topic could really suit him. It could really suit both, the painting of a distraught woman by one of my favorite painters. But I think the effort level could be a factor, and I think Split Eight may be the better topical writer anyway. Prediction: Split Eight 58-42.


Contender match: 3. Frank (8-3) vs. 4. Mike Wrecka (5-5) | Office in a Small City by Edward Hopper
BATTLE OF THE WEEK CANDIDATE! Mike Wrecka probably will lose this by one vote despite a big lead when he goes to bed Sunday. Frank has been very uneven this season, not showing off the impressive upper-tier verses he had last season. Part of that is because he hasn't found himself in as many high-tier battles, losing for one reason or another when he lands in them seemingly every time. Frank's hungry. Will he vote on every battle as required to make the title match, though? This cool daily-minutae painting fits both of these men. Prediction: Frank 53-47.


5. Cereal_Killa (2-1) vs. 6. oats (9-2) | Christina's World by Andrew Wyeth
It's a battle of the breakfasts! oats lost the last time this happened, against El Pancake. But he was hell-bent on destruction last week. Cereal_Killa can beat oats, but he'll have to write something much more lucid than he did against Adonis. This topic lends itself to that, and it can be interpretted in a lot of ways. I think it fits Cereal_Killa's schtick a little more in reviewing it again. But I don't see the upset right now with the way oats has written all season. Prediction: oats 62-38.


7. Johnathan Mercy (2-2) vs. 8. Soulstice (1-2) | The Triumph of Death by Pieter Bruegel the Elder
BATTLE OF THE WEEK CANDIDATE! Johnathan Mercy has lost to Zombie and Vividlyvague, but he might be the best writer in this league. Moreover, he and Soulstice go a ways back and surely have met in the past (when Johnathan Mercy was using another name). Soulstice has yet to have a battle go to votes in this league. If I were ranking the people currently signed in, these two would be in my top seven (along with Zombie, Frank, oats, zygote and Vulgar). This is a gut-based prediction, but I think Johnathan Mercy can do more with this topic. Prediction: Johnathan Mercy 51-49.


9. zygote (8-3) vs. 10. Vividlyvague (6-4) | Skull by Andy Warhol
BATTLE OF THE WEEK CANDIDATE! If I were the only arbitor, zygote would stand at 9-1 right now. But Vividlyvague just kicked my ass. So there's that. These two are among the most creative guys on this site, and Vividlyvague has been on a roll lately. (Obligatory note: zygote has posted his verse already, but I have not read it.) I do think zygote's creativity will come in handy for the most difficult topic of the week. Prediction: zygote 57-43.


11. King Ra. (4-6) vs. 12. timeless (6-5) | Still Life with Skull and Candlestick by Paul Cézanne
Both of these guys are having some issues cracking through the tough exterior of this league's top class. That makes this battle fascinating, along with the topic that I think is suited to both of their styles. King Ra. will go with something invoking madness, while timeless is a little less predictable. I like his animal verses. I'm siding with experience here. Prediction: King Ra. 52-48.


13. Perpendicular (1-1) vs. 14. Adonis (4-7) | The Face of War by Salvador Dali
Perpendicular is not happy he lost to Frank. Adonis is not happy he lost to Cereal_Killa. This topic is awesome, and I hope it inspires Adonis to dig back into his darker corners, where a lot of his best writing is found. Perpendicular is the favorite because of his mastery of rhyme mechanics. But he better make sure his content is up to snuff or he might be upset. Prediction: Perpendicular 55-45.


15. Certain (2-3) vs. 16. Vulgar (4-3) | Head of a Skeleton with a Burning Cigarette by Vincent Van Gogh
Vulgar will blow Certain away because Certain is no good. Also, giving Vulgar a skeleton and a cigarette as a topic seems like an easy way to ensure he will win. oats hates me. Prediction: Vulgar 99-1.



You'll never reach it
CONCLUSION by Certain


I want to thank zygote, oats, Split Eight and big baby for their help with this week's magazine. Also, I want to say fuck the haters. Let's keep going.

[e11even]

holy shit. Thanks guys. BB da BB tho. I loved it all and will read twice.

btw bb types like he talks. fucking awesome.

[dyedinthewool]

Bb da bb ♡♡

Great mag as always boys :)

[Split]

thread needs more idiyote, alcohol, and fewer due dates

[oats]

dope mag, though I really have no clue what Big Baby is saying.
@Certain what "holes" in "my" "theory?"

[Certain]

The theory that economy was invented. Supply and demand makes a nice counterpoint.

[big baby]

@Certain i told u oats stupid

[big baby]

oats if u wud give me timpestamp i tell u wut u said idiyote

[Frank]

I am taking the championship belt and defending it for the remainder of the season.

@big baby , Jersey shore ass nigga. Funny shit kid.

Props

[oats]

An economy is an invention (created to organize work in a civil society), even if it's driving principles are based on natural human understanding or emotions (animal spirits, as Keynes called them). Not to mention supply and demand is not as perfect an economic force as Adam smith envisioned; plenty of exceptions to that in the modern marketplace.

#legalizedude

[big baby]

TIMESTAMP @oats GREAT MAG GUYS

[Zen]

bb high points:

"Maybe. I don't know. Who cares?"
"It's gay. You're gay."
"You're weird."
"Fuck mustachia."

It was hard to understand the rest. Great mag though fellas.

[Cereal_Killa]

@Certain

My stoopid political party stance is truly ridiculous..

I love it :)

[Cereal_Killa]

oh oh btw..

i pressed that lil star in the address box on this page..

Massive respect
@Certain
and @oats
and @Split Eight

[timeless]

rofl @BB that shit was fried

epic mag though as usual. will skim this throughout the week.

[Vulgar]

Nice! bb da god.

Thanks-gents

[oats]

Originally Posted by big baby

TIMESTAMP @oats GREAT MAG GUYS

What's a time stamp?

[Mike Wrecka]

big baby jumped the shark with the audio predictions

time to drop the persona


wow bad

[Certain]

Originally Posted by oats

What's a time stamp?

He means you tell him what part of the video you want translated.

Stop being stupid, oats.

[Vulgar]

lol