WEEK 4 MAG

[dull boy]

Introduction

Strange week. We had what was possibly our most entertaining battle of the league thus far with Lars and Hush's 30 reply slug fest, but a bit of a let down with 5 no shows, most notably being Frac. After 12 bars battling it out with Blue he couldn't keep up the pace and triggered a disappointing no show loss. As much as I hated doing that, those are the rules of this league.. at least they were. This is the first week of having rankings and of course Blue is on top at 4-0. There are some really good matches this week that I'm looking forward to reading.

New rule; there will still be a 24 hour deadline from the time your opponent posts for you to reply, but failing to do so will no longer result in a no show. Instead, you will essentially be forfeiting your turn and your opponent will be back on the clock with the opportunity to post another 1 or 2 bars. Failure to post within 24 hours of your opponent more than once in a battle will result in the battle ending after your opponent has exercised or declined their option to post an additional 1 or 2 bars.

Just to be clear... if you don't post within 24 hours of your opponent you will forfeit your turn but you will still be allowed to respond after your opponent has posted.

This rule will only trigger after both battlers have posted once. Failure to post within 24 hours for the opener or the response to the opener will still trigger a no show.

BATTLE OF THE WEEK

Hush V Lars

Best Exchanges

1

Lars
rather my kid die than develop your bitch dog ugly features
u lower jaw expectations, she married a faggot whos height come up beneath hers
pushing reefer at 35 is SAD. kids see no time spent wit their pops
if you weren’t so high off the leek you may actually tend to ur crop

Hush
I do wild shit like call ur wife slut whore and bitch
If u gonna crop something remove her crooked jaw from pics
Either ur dick or her ovaries don’t work .. kids u don’t even got one
And when that bitch bite an apple it look like it got hit by a shotgun

Lower jaw got some flack on Discord but I thought it was a nice jab that tied in another concept along with the obvious chin angle. When this battle was at it's best was when you were both going directly at not only the content of your lines, but the meaning of them as well. This was a fairly even exchange until Hush's last bar with that shotgun shit lol

Lars
god cropped the height out ur life faggot. at best this herb 5’2”
ur kids fave film A Bugs Life n their dad only see the world from a worms eye view
rebuttal being a dead beat piece of shit. ur height embarrassin Frodo
ur bitch had to get down on one knee for YOU to make the marriage proposal

Hush
Ur wife teeth so far apart when she smile her tongue feelin a draft
bro she look like Sméagol after he had the ring for a year and a half
Fuck ur dead child nigga no remorse
A bugs life part 2 Filmed on his decomposing corpse

Worms eye view is only of those concepts that doesn't hit quite as hard on first glance, but it's honestly pretty fucking clever. Second bar was just ok and Hush's rebuttal to it with Smeagol was just funnier. Then he took it over the top by also rebutting Lars Bugs Life bar with an even better one that tied into previous concepts. Great exchange.

Lars
Vicelord of the rings got wed and lisped his way thru the speech
entire hobbit family side of the church had wet floor signs n booster seats
this loser keep his butch wife wearing flats just to feel taller
ugly bitch built like Hagrid and u disappear behind platforms 9 3/4”’s

Hush
Ironic u married a sea creature cuz her teeth are growing coral
And Last time i measured out 3 quarters I paid ya mom for oral
Midget fuck u know I spit savage fire
Speaking of Harry Potter ya bitch got a magic wand cuz u can’t satisfy her

Vicelord of the rings was lol Booster scene too. Flats was a nice set up but I didn't love the execution of the Harry Potter/platform line. Great concept but a bit of a miss with the wording. Hush took advantage again by flipping the 3 quarter oral line lol Magic wand wasn't as effective but it was another exchange Hush won by flipping and wording a little better than Lars.

Lars
midget got short changed. guess the jokes on you
if i married ur ugly dogfaced bitch id pay my own moms for a blowjob too
send the whole squad roll thru to deal wit her
watch as ur horcrux her neck to suck the soul out the dick of a real nigga

Hush
Say that to me in real life and get slapped .. that’s not a lie
U gotta be brown to say Nigga so I guess your wife’s gums qualify
No wonder ur relationship wit the hoe is strained and weak
When that bitch talk dirty in bed the gingervitus stains the sheets

Lars is great at adding those digs between bars. Short changed being one of them playing off the previous 3 quarter concept. Horcrux again was a dope concept that fell a little flat because of the wording. Brown gums was meh and somewhat of a missed opportunity for calling out Lars' usage of racial slurs, but the last bar of the line again sealed the deal for Hush in winning this exchange barely.

Lars
id leave tirearmosaurus rextinct. after 2020 the world needs laughter
with this dweebs stature every single punch throwns a certified kneeslapper
trust me I’ve no fear chilli wonkas oompa chalupa may punch me, its just weird
pillow talk for u’s standin on couch cushions to whisper sweet nothings in her ear

Hush
Nigga u married the Jurassic park mascot
Funny u bring up fossils cuz her teeth look half bone and half rock
U a borderline sex offender .. that relationship I cannot endorse
Who need a rape porn collection when ya bitch a rotting corpse

Lars whole bar here was lol The way he effectively uses his set ups is one of the aspects of his style that can give him an edge in a battle, but is also the reason he seems to find less consistency from bar to bar. This one however was great. Kneeslapper was dope and pillow talk was even better. Hush had more of the same with great flips and humorous lines, especially the rape porn bar, but this was one exchange I thought Lars took.

Lars
ur daughters look like Auschwitz survivors. bitch get ur life in check
i bring up fossils, ur wife bring ur kids up on a day old taco meat n child neglect
it’s a one-and-a-half-some whenever u have sex with ur wife
hope she smoking in pregnancy. bitch been ugly as fuck the rest of her life

Hush
Those ovens had sent more than a few Jews up to heaven
A worst gas crime was those topical cats convincing u your a legend
I’m fire u look like a friar . Stay in ur place
I see ur bitch an think SMOKING! Cuz she resemble fire mashall bill in the face

Didn't like Lars bars here. The smoking during pregnancy concepts was a huge missed opportunity, but the idea is excellent, but again Lars wording failed him here and to throw salt on that wound Hush came back with what was possibly the line of the battle with Fire Marshall Bill and the way it tied together Carrey's two characters.

2

Lars
ur wife keep abortion clinic wards in business. oughta kick the kid inside her
bitch been up the spout n flushed back out more times than Itsy Bitsy Spider
she always placenta of attention. her fave film prolly The Terminator
fuck the babybump. feed ur sonogram at the ultrasound n do the world a favour

Hush
My kids are my world . Lose one and my life at a standstill
I’m at the sonogram wit fam ... ur son a gram of pus and blood in a landfill
U ain’t need planned parenthood.. the irony is fucking wild
Funny u turned catholic after god decided u ain’t fit for another child

Thought Lars bar here was another contender for line of the battle. Whole couplet was really well worded and came together great. Kick the kid inside her/Itsy Bitsy Spider rhyme was dope and I loved the execution of the harsh concept. Placenta of attention was lol and on point with Terminator topping it off. Babybump/son a gram again was great usage of your lead in and the wording again was excellent. Hush's rebuttal was a little less than what he had been bringing, but still consistent. In this instance, though, it wasn't messing with Lars concept or wording.

Lars
now who hurt in their feelings? u a POS father tryna turn it on me
if ur kids mean the world to u, it’s cuz both better off w/o u around permanently
this stillbirth shit just cheap shock value tactics and nobody cares
ur only fit for a child cuz Baby Gap produced every item of clothing you wear

Hush
U should think before u type or attempting to speak
Baby gap sponsored her smile .. she has one between every one of her teeth
Seperation or suicide cuz u Would be better off yourself
Divorce lawyer wit her like ... before u stay wit him u better off yourself

This was one of the defining moments of the battle, because Lars' Baby Gap bar, while good, had a little less sting than what preceded it and then Hush's rebuttal was up to the standard he's set in his first two weeks. Baby Gap in her teeth and staying with him were both excellent flips off Lars concepts and it's this style that gave him the edge in this battle.

Consensus

Judge quotes

Wow. 29 drops. Definite props to both guys here, because this is exactly what folks should be doing in this league. Fun as hell to read.

Diablo had a couple head-scratchers. Each guy also went to the well too often with certain topics.

Hush won because he had less low points. A couple of Diablo’s punches didn’t hit for me at all, and it seemed like he stretched a few too many concepts

Hush won pound for pound here he rarely had a slip up. Lars tried to do a little too much sometimes

What sets them apart the most is how much I loved some of Hush’s ENTIRE retorts

The original Bugs Life and Frodo lines were good on their own, but the fact that Hush flipped them better and continued to do that on a repeated basis really sealed the deal

This started slow with a few early whiffs from both until that first exchange quoted above. I liked Lars' ese/cliffnote opener, I must say. In the end Lars had a few moments where he maybe tried to do too much, or just botched a good concept so badly that it gave Hush enough room to take a decent advantage in the battle. It was closer than I thought it would be when I first read through it, but Lars really did hold his own and it's a shame he decided to sign out as he could've caused some problems for some.

Verdict

All 5 judges thought Lars held his own, but in the end Hush won it convincingly.

5-0 Hush wins

User V Des

Best Exchanges

1

User
Get off it dude, wordplay? These jokes are costing you
Way to lead off with the same tactic that got you a loss to Blue
Stick to the fat jokes though, INF had an enduring run
& I’ve gone from battling the Great Depression to the guy born during one

Des
bitch u need to take an enduring run... like all the way around Lake Michigan
only great depression around here is the one u leave in ur chair when u get up to hit the fridge again
observation skills? this man lacks. next time ur in the club, demand facts.
i’m not talking bout ur diet when i say u must do a better job of watching out for trans, fats

One of my favorite aspects of this league is the carry over of concepts or themes from week to week. It's much more conversational than your typical format and allows for moments like this where User calls Des out for the criticism of his wordplay against Blue in week 3. Great depression/old guy bar was funny, but Des had an equally (if not more so) clever flip with the seat indention line. There were a few literal lols in this battle and that was one of them. Wasn't a fan of Des' second bar in this exchange, and that too plays back into what User said in the first bar to a degree.

2

User
Ooh, getting angry tough guy? Stop messaging back
But if I do go for a run, I’ll use the wrinkles on your forehead as a track
Glad you’re NOT talking about my diet, such a useless bafoon
I mean, you can’t diss mine when 90% of yours is Metamucil and prunes

Des
not getting angry. just getting bored in the worst way
bout to use the stretchmarks on your waist to map out my next wordplay
can’t believe i’m being lectured on fiber usage from a fat dude
‘Prune’ keeps me ‘regular’ and if you ever did it to ur beard, u could almost pass as that too.

Two more old jokes from User and while I liked both of them it was kind of meh for me. Des for the second straight exchange got the best of User by flipping stretchmarks and the prune/regular concept. At this point Des was in the drivers seat.

3

Des
i thought about u moving quickly and laughed for a long damn time
the only thing running out fast is the time before ur fat heart goes flatline
he may be dead & in a grave, but at least my kid ain’t jumbo...
trust me when i say u have no authority to ever speak about the “minimum” bro

User
We all die someday Des, you and your hoe included
I just find it ironic the guy teasing me about death is the one closest to it
There’s definitely a minimum here, he’s way past his prime
I’ve dissed your wife, job, kid, age and all you’ve done is call me fat 6 times

I didn't quote 'alive for zero', 'pass a child', 'breadwinner', 'relate to sandwiches' or 'different reasons' here but thought they were all noteworthy and solid bars and sections where each had a clunker or two. User ironically hits Des with another (effective) 'old' line here before calling him out on the endless fat joke angle.

4

User
Please stop typing you old faggot loser
If you go home now, I’ll cover the gas for your rascal scooter
Graze anatomy? Jesus, you’re beating a horse
You’d only make it on that show if they needed a corpse

Des
relax fatty mcgee. this is text and i’m just being fun
so....i’m a stay beating a horse while ur fat ass stays eating one
this isn’t a setup. this is advice bro. try some wheaties
it’s good ur already familiar with scooter brands for when u lose that leg to diabetes

User's old jokes are never not funny and I loved how he turned graze anatomy into another one, but for me it somewhat lessens his attack on Des for being unoriginal when he's being fairly one dimensional himself. Unfortunately for Des he doesn't really make User pay for that mistake and continues with another pair of fat jokes that while good and clever flips of User's lines, they don't have the cut that calling him out would have.

Consensus

Judge's quotes

Kind of a shame all the battle was angles we've seen done better but when they found fresh rebuttal material it got great. User had more solid rebuttals that I thought landed, so he gets my vote.

User is starting to stand out in this format. His brand of humor just seems to work really well here.

Des stuck to the User script by throwing fat jokes around. He did it better than most (his “words that relate to sandwiches” actually made me LOL, and was probably the line of the battle)

To be fair, User harped on the age angle a decent amount... but, he also varied it up. He went after the baby angle, his job, his age, his failed wordplay, and specifically addressed the fact that Des wasn’t varying his attacks.

This was one of the better battles I’ve read in the league thus far.

Majority opinion here seems to be that User was slightly more consistent and varied his angles just enough to give him the win over what many perceived to be a one pronged approach from Des. Personally, I thought User overdid the age angle in the same way Des did, and felt that Des had the better of a few of the flip exchanges in the battle. It was also mentioned by a couple that Des had an advantage entering the middle of the battle but User managed to snatch it away from him late. I think Des would have benefited a lot from calling out User for the repeated old jokes to combat User using the GOTCHA moment of doing the same to Des on the fat jokes.

Verdict

4 judges had User with a close win while 1 saw it the other way for Des.

4-1 User wins

Seth Vs Inf

Best Exchanges

1

Inf
You wont show signs after 1punch drop & fold
TX hadn't seen a weaker state when YOURE knocked out cold
Fucking tech geek down here homes takin hits
We buildin cases for Power Supply, u do the same for gaming rigs

Seth
U got no disciprine, hands ain’t sumn ur family know bitch
No hits.. If you drew one punch, mannn thats a lie ur cousin wrote it
UPNs least talented, but ur another charity they got time for
Gaming rigs?! U been playin with dick for years to sway battles behind doors

I felt both opening lines of 'giving us you' and 'china's finished'. Thought Inf's rebuttal was one of his better of the battle. I liked Inf's play here on power supply, but it didn't have a lot of teeth to it. Clever, but light. Seth's retort on gaming rigs was also clever, but had a bit more punch to it.

Inf
can't w/ you on dating son, that face would make em run
mail bride or lettuce on ur burger, u'd fuck an order more ways than one
scene pristine when i aim. make sure not to leave a trace
If I'm cleaning rubber it's disposing gloves that have ur DNA

Seth
U can’t even buy a wife, ure a hideous chink & mad obnoxious
Ur mail bride got off the plane, turned around & sent an out of stock text
Thank god ur cousin saved u, she’s a dog but I’m petty with tourney losses
If my DNA on any clothes in ur house, it’s the tshirt ur girl wiped her belly off with

Didn't care for the lettuce on your burger line, but Inf comes with a dope rebuttal on cleaning rubber with the DNA line, unfortunately for Inf the trend of Seth flipping just a little bit better continued here when Seth dropped two solid rebuttals. Thought out of stock could've been worded a little better, but the closer in this couplet was lol

2

Inf
Wishin next to the wife w/ the mattress sunken down
Dreaming of a Genie.. but 1 thought of her & cant rub em out
Dug up Karaoke's real life info. Threats to meet engaged
Bitch had a new alias ready & order to keep him 100 feet away

Seth
Fuck my wife 3x a day, if u had a girl I’d fuck her too just for clout
Foreplay for me is to Rubber pussy, foreplay for u is cleaning urs out
That fake Kar story never dies. Never changed face to play nice
& fuck an order.. if I wanted to keep a bitch away I’d ask u for dating advice

Thought the dream of Jeanie/can't rub one out exchanges were also dope with Inf getting the best of it due to the dope flip off of Seth already solid bar, but Seth did a great job of neutralizing it with potentially line of the battle with rubber pussy lol

3

Inf
They low stock. U try hard to bypass a limit of two
I dont stress over a flight response, women do that being w/ you
Your setups go in no direction is whats observed
mention the belly, just jealous she dont need a XXXL to cover hers

Seth
Bump stock make u take flight that’s burst class I’m clappin guns
Only response any1 stressing over is ur cousinwife worryin about a lack of one
While she grief I reload it then shots bustin
If I point at her belly again I’m blowin her back out but we ain’t fuckin

Flight response was nice but I wasn't loving the XXXL bar too much. Seth's still a little long on his wording at times and his first bar here was an example of that, for me, but the second battle was another bar of the battle contender by rebutting the belly angle with a hard hitting concept.

Consensus

Judge's quotes

Rusty has improved his wording significantly

Ultimately, I thought this was exceptionally close. But, I think Rusty’s slight edge in rebutting Inf’s lines give him the win

Inf has had unfortunate match ups every week of the league he's participated in and it's a shame his record is taking a hit, but Seth was one upping him with nearly every exchange. Every time Inf dropped something dope, Seth came back with something better.

Verdict

All 5 judges thought Seth took this one convincingly.

5-0 Seth wins

Dave Vs Adverse

Best Exchanges

1

Adverse
Go ahead n smack my spine with clubs, I still ain’t foldin son
You tryna drive w/ a putter?! I lift the stick n dome ya....that’s a hole in one
Speaking of golf
When I tee off I’m ready to kill shit, best believe we won’t form a truce
When Dave tee off, it’s just his wardrobe preppin for a gay porno shoot

Dave
Ur right.. cuz with the tee off Im stacked but trust
I just can’t seem to find a fairway... to tell you you’re fat as fuck
Fuck this golf shit, Ima hear the colt click when I’ve finished squeezing
That’s one more click than your faggot poet league will get all season

Ouch lol Have to mention that Dave's 'actually rhymed' bar was also dope. Thought Ad's wording on his first bar here was a little messy, but I was fucking with his tee off concept, until Dave blew it out of the water with his lol The wording on that 'fat as fuck' bar was nice as hell. Golf shit/colt click was a dope internal and the wording of the entire bar was damn near perfect. It's difficult to fit multiple rhymes in a bar that go seamlessly into the concept you're working. Insult itself was also mean and lol

Adverse
So what I’m a butterball? Your girl think I’m a fuckin star
It ain’t about golf, I’m taking the swings cus ur stroke game wasn’t up to par
Haha...it’s wack that he, think he’s busting gats at his foes
Only time he heard a ‘a Colt talk’ was streaming the Pat Mcafee Show

Dave
Played golf puns are boring, I’m about to start screaming shoot me
Besides Your stroke game is so good.. both sides of your face are equally droopy
And fuck that last reference.. there’s a joke there but you did it wrong
Mcafee shows up on YOUR computer.. every time you start searching kiddie porn

Haha what a great exchange. Dave shit on the golfing concepts, but I thought Ad's opener here was really nice, actually. Wording was really on point and I loved the angle you took. Colt talk was a cool flip, but lacked some punch. Equally droopy was fucking lol Dave's got some really good comedic timing. Liked Dave's set up almost more than the punch here, but McAfee was also a nice rebuttal, just not as good on the punch itself as the previous.

Adverse
When I start shootin you gon die, let the deuce and the fo’ fly
Dual wielding the steel, could leave you droopin from both sides
Tryna make accusations for a quick laugh but you’re a comical bore
Even if I did watch kiddie porn, I’d never see a dick smaller than yours

Dave
This guys really wilting, Don’t be surprised when I’ve killed him
Not sure what’s worse.. you knowing about MY size or the children’s?
I’m dropping slam dunks in here, your bars just spoilin it, jerk
Only time you even touching the rim is cleaning toilets at work

Wording was great in your opener, Ad, but I wasn't loving the concept too much. Little light and sort of a retread of Dave's. Smaller than yours was lol Was a nice comeback on his previous line, but like most winners this week Dave always seemed one step ahead. My size or the children's was a great rebuttal that deflected the momentum Ad was building up. Toilets at work was another comedy line that hit hard and had great wording.

Consensus

Adverse had at lot of predictable things but I really fucked with his flip of the 'keeping it clean' bar. He's finding his footing but a lot of it was 'see a word dave used -> flip that word' instead of coming at him the way he did at the end.

Dave raped Ad. He is trying just uses some old concepts. Wording is still an issue. Nothing has sting yet.

Dave’s retorts were on another level than Ad’s, but he put up a valiant effort. Individually, their lines were both both equally fine, but the angles Dave hit Ad with seemed to keep Ad on the defensive the entire time, rather than him spinning the rebuttals into hard hitting lines themselves

Adverse had a few poorly worded lines that ran way too long

I think wit-wise, Dave was slightly better, as well. The dick size rebuttal was perfectly executed

Ad was good this battle, but perhaps a little out matched against Dave this week. A lot of judges seem to think Dave is maybe the most dangerous person in the field and he showed why in this battle. Ad was nice, and it's important to give him credit this week, because Dave got a lot of the props, but he really was just on a slightly higher level as far as his consistency with his comedic wording and excellent use of rebuttals.

Verdict

All 5 judges had Dave taking this one, but thought Ad was dope for the most part.

5-0 Dave wins

Mac V Defiant

Consensus

Defiant seemed to pick and choose when he was retorting meanwhile Mac was following the rule a little better and flipping consistently but they just... weren’t very good. Defiant going 4 more lines than him in such a short battle didn’t help Mac’s cause either here.

Lackluster battle, in more ways than one. They only had 7 total drops, so they didn’t seem as into it as everyone else

Ultimately, I have to give it to Defiant by a hair. But, it was close.. I thought he had slightly better punches. But, both will need to improve a fair amount of make any headway in this league

Lot of bars that just didn't quite connect from both, but I thought defiant had literally one more solid hit. If mac had responded on Sunday it could have easily gone his way

Think Mac’s two best bars were the break the mold bit and sexual lists. I liked Defiant with the Vince Mac tie in, I liked Defiant’s first couple responses though, after that there was a definite drop off in quality

Yeah. Props to Defiant for showing up, and even got himself a W. Mac continues to search for his footing and I'm looking forward to some improvement from both of these guys next week, hopefully.

Verdict

5 judges thought Defiant won by the narrowest of margins.

5-0 Defiant wins

Blue V Frac

Best Exchanges

1

Frac
Blues drink of choice is the same kind as teens
It's just sad when you get hung over by claws like the lion king
You built tiny. That's why you get faded from it
Beat frac? Baby steps. Like how u walk when ya little legs are late for somethin

Blue
damn right i’m crackin’ a Claw, this shit’s the best dude
last time you Popped a Cherry your bitch gave birth to a kid then left you
i’m 5’10 soliddd. a short punch?! jesus guy..
& what do u know about Baby Steps? you barely saw your kid til she was 5

Hung over by claws was lol and so was late for something. Both nice visuals and started things off nicely. I liked how Blue almost used his first bar as a set up to his second, but still tied in the claw/popped a cherry reference. Baby steps was a dope rebuttal that was mean af and relevant to the previous bar. Good shit from both, but Blue had the luxery of going second here and didn't disappoint.

2

Frac
Yea you paid me for lines. U had ur hands out eagerly
Im a dork? Like in that chat where u wanted kungs acceptance as he called u a faggot repeatedly?
He only catches me off guard cause I didnt know how far he would go
Fuckin snake. Blue only makes his move when u turn ur back like a mario ghost

Blue
i called Kung a loser so yeahhh he took offense to the shit
of course he likes you tho.. he beat you twice in ur prime before i swept him in his
you’re HIGH claimin’ that money was for lines. got your burial marked
cuz that Rocks got you Spinnin’ worse than hitting Thwomps playin Mario Cart

I'm honestly kind of pissed this didn't get to be voted on. It was such a personal battle between you two. 'Wrestling fans' was meh for me and thought Blue got the better of that exchange with a decent bar, and the way Frac's first bar here started it wasn't looking great. The concept was cool, but it was long as hell, thankfully that Mario ghost shit was maybe one line that will stick with everyone for a while. Really dope shit that was relevant to Blue's low blow concepts. Blue held his own and that 'swept him in his' line was honestly hard as hell. Took some of the sting out of Frac. Rocks got you spinning was steady and consistent Blue.

Frac
U said ud wreck kung. "Hi kung" is failing on that commitment
Just imagine the shape ud be in if ur peloton let u back peddle on an opinion
Act cool with you is some slimy shit blue would do
Got me on netcees like... They already have hensley, do they really need 2 of u?

Blue
i kill it on the Pelaton cuz my pace is very persistent
cmon frac, a guy that has trouble getting paper shouldn't mention Stationery equipment
i bet your face would weep the second David laced his key
hated his 'slumped in a car' bar cuz that was you the night before w/out a place to sleep

Liked the angle Frac was going for here, but his wording seemed a bit off. 'Hi Kung' was jokes, though and Frac came off a little miffed at Blue's approach with his set ups and then the Hens bar. Stationary/paper was meh. Place to sleep had a dope set up but the punch itself was worded a little awkwardly and took away some of the sting the concept had baked into it.

Frac
Nah, reword. Rather be me than this fan of fracture
People been asking ur wife 'how far along' for years. Finally she has an answer
Daves line was tight. While what ur sexin aint right
My life's better fallin asleep behind the wheel... goin over a bridge, than next to ur wife

Blue
PLEASE frac. i beg you. do a donut & not fear
this sounds like Stan & you been obsessed w/ me since the moment you got here
ex porker left you, homie i know you've been thru a fog
ironic she 'hit the road' & does the same thing now one minute into a jog

Idk. Frac felt off most of this battle, for me. The rhymes and concepts are there, but they all feel a little light after everything else I've been reading. How far along was cool but I think the wording is just lacking a bit, for whatever reason. Didn't love Blue's wording with the Stan concept, either, but his hit the road bar was nice.

Frac
Your first four bars were hot. But the tables have turned
U better go out swinging.. U know, like how ur wife found some capable sperm
Do a donut and not fear?? Thats how you poorly retort
The stan concept wasnt even that good to set it up w/ somethin so corny n forced

Blue
YOU JUST SAID POORLY RETORT. that's pitiful doggie
only setup you're really mad it is Dull for getting you bodied
& after 'black frac' i don't know why you're beefin guy..
you have more insecurities being a White than Skylar by season 5

This was Frac's best bar. Go out swinging was a nice angle to take on the pregnant wife after setting it up with tables have turned. Liked, but didn't love the second bar there. Liked the direction but there wasn't much there besides, 'that line sucked.' Getting you bodied was lol and nicely worded and the Skylar White concept was great. Surprised there wasn't more of his racial identity crisis used.

Consensus

Frac really dropped the ball in what was essentually a champ match. Not only did he get out of the gates a little slow, but he disappeared the last day of the battle, allowing Blue to walk away with a free win. Blue was surprisingly a touch under his standard quality at times, but he hit Frac hard early and then just leaned on him for the rest of the match without much of a fight. This was a battle between two people with a long history, and the personals were on display, but still a little less fire than I would have expected.

Verdict

Blue seemed to have a clear edge, but Frac ended up disqualifying himself regardless by not showing up for the end of the battle.

Blue wins

WEEK 4 POWER RANKINGS

Current Champion
Blue Bayou

Competition in this league has been fairly stiff from day one for most of our top tier and I've put an emphasis on pitting them against each other. Blue was the first to give Inf his first of three consecutive hard faught losses, as one example of a talented writer being in the wrong place at the wrong time. In week two he was placed against Flow, who I really thought might have a chance of champing this league, but Blue breezed through it rather easily. Destroyer gave Blue his biggest challenge yet, and it came down to 1 vote that separated them. He's consistent and for the most part his wording is excellent. It's his league to lose, it seems.

Contender
UserName

User didn't sign in until week two and has tried signing out every week since without success lol What he's done in those three weeks is run through Adverse, Inf and Des on his way to challenging Blue at the top of the mountain. He definitely has the chops to be the first to knock Blue off of his perch.

3
evaD

Dave is probably the battler I've seen mentioned most as being a major threat outside of Blue. Sharp, who unfortunately signed out after week one has been Dave's only loss in the league thus far, and in all of his wins he's been fairly dominant. He's funny with great wording and an excellent sense of comedic timing.

4
Frac

Frac had a bit of a stumble this week going against his buddy Blue, and perhaps underestimated how little Blue would ease up. Regardless of that, though, he had a knock down drag out battle with Hush and Inf his previous two weeks to earn his spot near the top. Will be interesting to see where things shake out for him in the coming weeks.

5
Rusty Gunz

Seth is my dark horse pick for champing this league, although I'm not sure how dark that horse should be. His lack of hesistation in going for his opponent's throats has earned him some hard faught wins and a couple of nail biting losses. He excels in this format and could definitely find himself in the contender's spot in a week or two.

6
Hush

Hush is the funniest mfer in the league rn and after that display he just put on against Lars it seems not much besides his own disinterest could keep him from climbing the ladder quickly. He signed in to the league late and it's really the only reason he's this far down on the rankings.

7
Destroyer

Des being this low is surprising, honestly. Maybe I'm bias, because I usually think he wins, even when he doesn't get the majority vote. If only I were the only judge, ay Des? Only weakness I notice in Des, if you want to call it that, is perhaps a lack of that killer instinct or motivation to really step on throats. Besides that, Des is fully capable of ending this season at the top.

8
Adverse

Ad is constantly improving, and sometimes he looks like the best battler in the league. He needs to work on his consistency a little bit, but if he can manage to reign that in then he's another contender in the making.

10
Bleak

Bleak had a decent showing in the one battle he's participated in thus far. He no showed last week, which annoys the fuck out of me, plus I'd like to see what he does against another opponent. Hopefully this week goes smoother for him and the league in terms of no shows.

9
Fraze

Fraze has had some tough luck in the league thus far in terms of getting his opponents to actually show up for a battle. I thought he showed some decent promise in his limited action against Resin. Anxious to see what he does this week.

10
Defiant

There's considerable separation between these last two spots and the ones above them, from what I've seen so far. Def and Mac had a fairly lackluster battle this week and it's why they both find themselves toward the bottle of the rankings. Hoping one or both of them steps up their game a little.

11
Mac

Mac is a fan favorite, but hasn't been able to put it together consistently yet. Hoping he can get it together this week.

[dull boy]

WEEK 5 MATCH UPS AND PREDICTIONS
(by UserName)

Blue V User

I'm a little burnt out this morning and User wasn't keen on previewing his own battle. So I apologize to User and Blue, but I'm going to just quote Des on this one.

Prediction - one of them will write better than the other one. then the other one will win likely.

Dave V Frac

Dave’s been redcoating his way through this league ever since he took an Ambien and lost to Sharp in week 1. He seems to have really found his footing as of late, utilizing the league’s unique style to land some perfectly executed rebuttals. It makes you wonder just how much they make fun of each other over there in Narnia. But then there’s Fracture. The guy who makes clever look easy, coming off an unfortunate DQ loss to Blue, but this may have sharpened him up and made him ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence. See what I did there? Great movie. Anyways, this should be another classic, and it doesn’t seem like Dull’s giving Frac any weeks off, even after a loss. I expect Frac to come with it and Dave to be like “ARE YOU TAKING THE PISS, LUV?”

Prediction – Dave signs out after this week because I’m running out of British jokes.

Seth V Hush

The Lethal Lisp vs. Teeth & Tits. Haha, I made a multi out of it. Sorry. Seth finally got on track last week and disco’d his way out of his losing slump by flogging Inf rather convincingly. Meanwhile, Hush took a squatting Dominican street-style shit into Lars’ waiting mouth in possibly the longest and most epic battle of the league so far. These guys are both riding high’s right now and it’s kinda great they get to square off against each other. I’m expecting another lengthy showdown, as both of these guys really seem to enjoy this style of battling.

Prediction – There will be nothing but peace and happiness between these two because they absolutely adore each other.[/s]

Des V Adverse

Lowkey BOTW contender if these guys take it seriously. Yes, I know both guys are coming off a loss but both of them are absolutely highlights of the league so far. Des is relentless when he finds an angle he loves and there’s honestly plenty of angles to take against Adverse. But the same can be said of Des. Honestly, I haven’t wanted to see a phone salesman and a janitor go head-to-head more ever in my life. I’m expecting Des to jump out early with a lead and Ad steadily climbing his way back into this battle around response 4 or so. It may take a minute for this battle to heat up, but when it does, this should be another one of the more entertaining matches this week.

Prediction – Ad will listen to Fort Minor at some point this week. Ugh, disgusting.

Lars V Kill Spree

Lars is coming off of his marathon battle with Hush and Spree has been signed out since his week one loss to Coop. This was a late addition to the card so User didn't get a chance to preview this one. I'm adding it here for posterity.

Prediction - dijasidjasijdaisjdiasjdqiwdqw

Fraze V Defiant

I think both would agree this battle is kinda the undercard of the week, being that both are still getting acclimated to the league and I don’t think either has dropped more than 3 times in a battle yet. Hopefully one of these two sparks the other’s creative drive and this battle can become something special. Because I mean, otherwise, I have Fraze showing up once and Defiant possibly noshowing. I’m sorry I can’t be overly positive about this with Defiant’s track record.

Prediction – Now, because I’ve talked shit, this battle will be the Ali vs. Frazier of the week and be the most epic thing Netcee’s has ever fucking seen.

Mac V bleak

I’ve given Mac a lot of time. I’ve heaped praise upon him because it’s evident he has the little spark of a legendary text battler. I’ve seen the concepts, I’ve SEEN THEM. The creativity exists in there, I know it does. He just hasn’t let it out in about a year and seems to only be trying to slowly suffocate it with a pillow every chance he gets. But god damn it he’s beautiful. Idk, I’m torn. Will he unleash the mythical beast this week or continue to write Eddie Guerrero fan fiction? You’re tearing me apart, Mac. Oh yeah, bleak’s here too. Go get him bleak.

Prediction – I don’t know anymore. This hurts to even type…but I think bleak wins.

Rules

I'm always open to answering questions, but please refer to this first if you're unsure of something.

Excessive chatter used as a lead in to your bars will not be tolerated and
could result in a DQ at my discretion. Let your bars do the talking.

1. Opener

Each battle will begin with a coin chosen participant to open the battle. I will @ you when threads are posted each week
informing you that you're on the clock. Your post is the only bar(s) of the battle that don't need to directly or indirectly
reference a previous bar. Some may say it's a disadvantage to open, but the counter to that argument is that it's the only
opportunity to use a generic punch during the battle.

Each post has a 1 bar minimum, 2 bar max. You will have 24 hours from the time the thread is posted to submit your bar(s).
Failing to post within that time limit will result in a DQ and a loss on your record.

2. Rebuttal

Once the opener has been posted you will have 24 hours from the time it was posted to submit your bar(s).
If you fail to respond within that 24 hours it will result in a DQ and a loss on your record. Again, it is a 1 bar minimum and a 2 bar max.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO MATCH THE AMOUNT YOUR OPPONENT POSTED. Any line after the opening bar(s) must reference a previously posted bar(s) from the battle, be that directly or indirectly.

There is no restriction to how long you must wait to reply once your opponent has posted.
There is no limit to how many times you and your opponent can exchange bars. Battles will end every Sunday at midnight EST.

If you opened the battle you may not post after 10:59PM EST.
This is to discourage last second posting without giving your opponent
the opporunity to respond and equal the number of posts in a battle.

3. Judging and voting

Threads will be closed Sunday at midnight EST. A panel of 5 anonymous judges will send their votes directly to me and the winners will be announced Wednesday in the mag.

[fraze]

Thanks for the mag dull.

[Adverse]

Great mag Dull thanks for it, I appreciate all the props and agree that Dave is probably one of the biggest threats in this league glad I got to see how I measured up this week. Great effort all around

[evaD]

This league is great dull. Mags are always super in-depth and the battles are just fun to read. Unlucky @Adverse I honestly thought you could’ve taken our battle it was a good match for sure

[Mac]

great workkkk dudes.. thats a great mag with a lot of effort

[Defiant]

Good shit guys

Il be showing for sure